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| Words and photo F LoBuono |
When I was a kid, right up through adolescence, I felt like I was bullied mercilessly. At least it was “merciless” in my own mind so that even after the passage of these many years, I still remember it. The lessons I learned then made me the person I am today. And one of those lessons was how to deal with a bully.
Unlike most of the men in my family who were my role models
and were “robust”, I was thin. Painfully so. More accurate descriptions and the ones used most frequently were “skinny” and "scrawny". And I hated it. However, despite my frail
frame I was quick and athletic. Taking after my father and uncle, I played lots
of sports, too. But I was so damned boney that despite by athletic skills, I
never looked the part of the “buffed” athlete and suffered the indignity of
being teased about it constantly. I also have a somewhat unusual sir name that
the other kids would have a good time with trying to find ways to come up with
insulting pseudonyms for.
Combine these things with growing up in a lower-middle class
New Jersey neighborhood with lots of kids, and you get the perfect environment
for the development for those who bully, those who allow them to flourish, and
those who choose to fight back. I was a member of the last category.
I was taught very clearly by BOTH of my parents to live by a
code that includes resisting anyone that violated the tenets of that code. They
are as follows:
1.
Never BE the bully and walk away from a
fight if you can. You’ll know when.
2.
Never allow ANYONE to put their hands on
you without your permission.
3. Never allow anyone to degrade you or your family with insults.
"Words can never hurt me" to a point. You will
know what it is.
4.
Never quit.
5.
Always stand for what is right and defend
others weaker than yourself.
6.
Always fight ferociously when necessary.
7.
Always walk with your head held high. No
one is better than you, or you them.
You see, I was never that tough, so I don’t think I won many
– if any – of those fights against bullies. But, winning is not ultimately
what’s most important. Resisting is. It
eventually became clear to bullies far and wide that if you violated any one of
these principles, you’d have to deal with me. Even if you could beat the crap
out of me, I’ll fight you today, tomorrow, the day after that, and so forth.
They knew that. I don't know exactly why but, at some point, they didn't bother me so much any more. Perhaps it was simply because they got tired of beating me up. Whatever.
One way or the other, I EARNED respect and they left me alone. I can’t speak to
others, but it has always held true for me.
These principles have served me well for nearly 70 years and
I will continue to apply them for as long as I live. And, under the current
conditions and Administration, I’ll need them now more than ever. It’s become
more obvious than ever that this County is being run by a bully.
The fact that Donald Trump is exposing himself as The
Bully-in-Chief does not surprise me in the least. As a New Yorker, I have known
that about Mr. Trump LONG before he expressed his political aspirations. That
was obvious from the beginning of his public life and reinforced by his starring role in one of the
ultimate bully-themed shows of them all, The Apprentice. Remember, he
took great joy in someone losing their job by uttering the phrase, you’re
fired! As President he has been no different, issuing draconian orders
to implement his (and his cronies’) version of America.
What does surprise and disappoint me is the growing number
of Americans who support this boorish behavior, especially when it comes to the
issues of immigration, and particularly our Southern Border. Look, I get it!
Trump campaigned and was elected promising to do exactly what he is doing now. And
we must admit the fact that most Americans, including me, acknowledge a broken
immigration system that is in desperate need of repair.
However, I, and many others, are NOT OK with how this is
being done. Simply put, the entire process seems to have been conceived to
create the maximum amount of cruelty in its execution. Because it is a MASS deportation,
it’s like a huge fishing net that scoops up the intended catch while a whole
bunch of other fish also get consumed in the process! Sure, arrest and deport
the criminals that HAVE filtered into our communities. Good riddance. We SHOULD have been doing that all along. But to
terrorize thousands of innocents to catch a few desperadoes is just plain wrong. Besides, as is being revealed as this story unfolds,
it will have a profound effect on our economy by removing essential workers
from key industries.
To further his add to the misery, the President has also
attempted to end the Constitutional Birthright clause granting anyone born here
American citizenship, potentially devastating innocent children and their
families. And just to make things extra nasty, Mr. Trump has now authorized
Federal Immigration agents to conduct raids in churches and schools. Yes,
that’s right, SCHOOLS. Yes, let's bring lots of men with combat gear and guns into our schools. JEEZ!!!
Some who read this will have absolutely no issue with how
this is being done. All that is important to them is that it IS being done. But
I counter with this; just because we can doesn’t mean that we should. It’s
cruel and contrary to the very essence of what it means to be an American.
There MUST be a better way- and there IS – if we can change
our mindset. Instead of spending $ millions and losing $ millions more on
heartless measures, how about Congress getting off their butts and passing
legislation that addresses this crisis and provides a real pathway to
citizenship?
And there are many other things that are being implemented (and largely supported) that seem to have been chosen mostly for their cruelty. Another particularly egregious act was declaring that the US government will support only 2 birth genders, male and female. Mr. Trump went even further and signed an Executive Order mandating all Transgender people in Federal prisons be transferred to the facility assigned to their birth gender. Do people know what will happen to these folks? They are human beings, our brothers and sisters.
And, in a recent development, the President has issued an Executive Order banning transgender individuals from serving in any branch of the military. Hell, over 4,000 trans people are currently serving with honor and distinction.
The list of his mean-spirited and largely inane if not insane Executive Orders is too long to complete in this post.
Why does he do it? Because he CAN (if we let them!). That’s
what BULLIES do!!
It comes down to our national ethos. WHO ARE WE? Are we
represented by the Lady with The Lamp who lights the way to freedom and
equality for all? Or are we so thoughtless, so callous as to be led by an
overbearing, bloated, cruel, BULLY who seems to believe that he was elected
king?
Resistance against this emerging menace, this tide of
cruelty, takes enormous effort. I know it gets me down. And as more and more
people fall prey to their more basic instincts, as prodded by The Bully in
Chief, the more difficult it seems to Fight The Power. But we must. Otherwise,
the bully wins and smiles that cheese-eating grin. I will not let that happen.
Never did. Never will. I can’t.
Let me leave you some of the greatest song lyrics ever created
for some inspiration. The were written by Paul Simon for his song “The Boxer”:
In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his
trade and he carries the reminders of ever glove that laid him down or cut him until
he cried in his anger and his shame, I AM LEAVING, I AM LEAVING! But the
fighter still remains.
