Today's Not Too True Story

Words and photo by F LoBuono

We were driving to a party and were in a festive mood.

As we speed along, I sang, full voiced, with the Three Dog Night CD playing on the car stereo -

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know!

Ah, you might want to keep to keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road, Cynthia interrupted.

You've unleashed the beast and there is no going back now, my dear. You might as well try to hang on and enjoy the ride, I replied.

Two can be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number since the number one, the chorus continued.

If you say so, Frankie, Cynthia retorted.

Indeed I do, my dear. Indeed I do.

Today's MOZEN: Nuance

F LoBuono

We usually see racism and bigotry in their most obvious forms like the Ku Klux Klan or the TV character Archie Bunker. You can't miss the racial hatred of the KKK or the blustering bigotry of Archie. They are right there for all to see.

But, there is a more subtle side to these terms. I've written about it before on the blog and call it Nuanced Racism and Bigotry. We are all guilty of it to some degree. These are the little so-called generalities or cliches about race and culture that slip into our every day lives. And, no one of ANY color or ethnicity is immune. It is one of the things that makes us imperfect and, therefore, HUMAN.

Allow me to tell you a story that may illustrate my point. It is true but the names have been changed to protect privacy.

In the summer of 1988, I was producing and directing a documentary of a swimmer, Steve Starke, who planned to swim the Hudson River from Albany to the Statue of Liberty. It was to be a "staged swim", i.e. he would cover a certain distance each day. It was planned to take about five days and draw attention to environmental issues concerning the river. We called it Liberty Swim '88.

One day, as we were nearing Kingston, NY, the captain of the boat we were using as our command center, Don Smith, decided to dock to pick up fuel and supplies. Don was a former Marine and looked every bit the part. In his late 40's, he was burly and wore his hair in the traditional Marine crew cut style. He was direct in giving his commands on his boat. But, he was also affable and fun - a regular guy. We were joined on board by my chief cameraman, Steve McDonaugh, as well as a masseur, Ben Behar, who helped keep the swimmer's body in working order.

As we pulled into port, Don was ready with a plan. While he fueled the boat we would shop for supplies. Don had it all figured out and gave us our marching orders:

McDonaugh, you're an Irishman, you buy the booze.

LoBuono, you're Italian, you buy the food.

Behar, you're a Jew, you hold the money.

In Smith's world, there was no malice intended. It was not said with hate in his heart. It just made perfect sense to HIM. We thought it hysterical and eventually wound up giving his own nickname: The Benevolent Bigot. We did not hate him for it. He was not hateful. But, still, we realized that this was the world view of a LOT of people. And, that's not only sad, it's potentially dangerous.

There are millions of Don Smiths - Nuanced racists and bigots. They don't belong to the KKK. They are not blatant in their racism or bigotry. In fact, most of them don't even see themselves in that light. They BELIEVE in those generalities and, in their minds, don't see the bigger picture and the harm it does by perpetuating stereotypes.

We can avoid this pitfall by AWARENESS. We must open are hearts AND minds to allow for clarity in thinking. We must be AWARE to avoid the stereotypes that we often seen perpetuated by social media today. For example, people refer to the need to avoid cities with large black populations. They would lead you to believe that they are unsafe because of the violence associated with the inner city - i.e. BLACK areas. It may be true that the most dangerous areas ARE so-called black ghettos. This cannot be denied. However, and this is MOST important, it is not because the areas are BLACK, but, rather, that they are POOR. THEN, we have to make the connection between POOR and BLACK and the reasons why they seem to be inseparable. THIS is where the racism and bigotry in our society lies - NOT within the color of a persons skin. This is a critical difference.

When we can distinguish between the two  - POVERTY causes lawlessness - not color or ethnicity - our society will improve. The only time color does matter is when WE make it so by condemning this people simply for their race. And, it STILL happens all of the time. See SYRIAN REFUGEES.

We can make it stop with EVERY thought that becomes action.

Today's MOZEN: Dump Trump

Photo Scott Audette, Reuters. Words F LoBuono

It wasn't long ago that the cause du jour was bullying. Bullies have been with us since the dawn of civilization but it was most recently brought into focus when an offensive lineman from the NFL's Miami Dolphins accused a teammate of bullying him. When a huge, tough, pro football player complains of such behavior, the world takes notice.

In the days and weeks following that incident, the player accused of the bullying was released and a host of awareness campaigns, anti-bullying legislation, and the like were activated. TV commercials featuring well known celebrities flooded the air waves with the message that bullying must stop. Schools created specific anti-bullying curricular to deal with the problem. Politicians stumped with that theme as their platform. It would be fair to say the message was ubiquitous.

So, where are we now in dealing with bullies?

Well, we seem to have forgotten all about it - already.

Because, now, we have THE DONALD.

Donald Trump, the leader in the race for the GOP Presidential nomination, is the ULTIMATE BULLY. He is as vicious as he is bellicose. Should anyone dare question his strategy, motivation, background, lineage, or intentions, they are attacked without mercy. Even those charged with challenging him, like REPORTERS, are assaulted in almost every way. They are verbal abused and ridiculed. Some have even been forcibly removed for asking legitimate questions, simply because The Donald did not like them. He would like everyone to believe he is fair, balanced, and good-natured. And, if you don't believe him, he'll have someone kick the shit out of you to prove it. He's the type of bully who personally never gets his hands dirty. He pays others to do his dirty work. But, verbally, he is pretty damned good at hurling invectives at perceived adversaries. And, NO ONE is immune.

The most recent, shameless incident involves a NY Times reporter. It seems the reporter, while working for the Washington Post, wrote something concerning post 9-11 celebrations in Jersey City. Trump used that article to reference as proof his unsubstantiated accusation that "thousands of Muslims" celebrated the attack in the streets of Jersey City. The reporter, Serge Kovalski, has subsequently claimed that he never witnessed the celebrations directly and reported. at the time, the claim was unsubstantiated. This has enraged The Donald. And, of course, he has attacked! Mr. Trump not only attacked the man's credibility but his disability, as well! It seems that Mr. Kovalski has a genetic disorder that affects his limps, preventing him from moving his arms in a normal range. While lambasting him verbally, The Donald lampooned Mr. Kovalski's disability by moving his arms awkwardly,

Of course, the shit hit the fan. Most of mainstream America was shocked. They looked for Mr. Trump to apologize.

So, did he?

Hell NO!

Instead, The Donald played the role he plays best - the bully - and, he attacked! He further insulted Mr. Kovalski's reporting. He denied using physical gestures to mock him, claiming he would never make fun of ANYONE with a disability. Trump went on to explain that his movement was to demonstrate that Mr. Kovalski was "groveling" and "pandering". He went so far as to accuse him of using his disability to curry sympathy!

This is CLASSIC bully behavior - attack, attack, attack. Even when wrong - ATTACK!

He is shameful in his shamelessness.

But, what might be more disturbing to me than The Donald's behavior is that of his supporters. Despite his brutality, his lies, and his narcissistic behavior, millions of Americans continue to enthusiastically support him. In fact, they more than support him - they emulate him. There are numerous reports of abusive behavior at many Trump rallies. Should anyone come to challenge him, they will suffer not only his wrath but that of his followers, as well. As recently as last week, it was reported that a man who dared disagree with Trump was savagely beaten by his supporters.

When I was playing ball as a young man, it was often said that the team usually takes on the personality of its leader, i.e. the coach. If the coach is aggressive, so is the team. I believe that. So it is in the case of The Donald. He is a bully and those that believe in him support that behavior. It's shameful.

I, for one, do not do well with bullies. I don't respect them. In fact, I do not tolerate them. And, you shouldn't either.

DUMP TRUMP.

When You Think About It: Donald Trumps Friday

F LoBuono

What to do? Oh, what to do?

I was in a bit of a quandary this morning. I seemed to be suffering from some sort of "reverse writers block"; instead of not knowing what to write about or how, I simply had too many topics to choose from. Today is BLACK FRIDAY, either a shoppers paradise or prison, depending on your point of view. It can indeed be considered the Super Bowl of Shopping. I certainly have a few thoughts to share on that. And, then, there's THE DONALD, Donald Trump, the front runner for the GOP Presidential nomination. His rhetoric gives one amble political grist to mill.

Well, the more I thought about it, the more I felt that I should write about them simultaneously. In my mind, When You Think About It, they represent very many of the same things.

Both are about money over matter; at least WHAT matters - certainly to me.

Black Friday is a retailers wet dream. They encourage wanton spending on every level. The more you buy, the better off you are. The message is clear - the more you HAVE, the more successful you ARE. And, to HAVE things, you must BUY them first. We have all seen the videos of people pummeling one another to simply save a buck. The retailers will barrage us with messages reinforcing exactly that. Material things matter most. Others, of an intrinsic nature become, sadly, less valuable while objects of a blatantly commercial one are coveted. Two words will underscore this difference: The Kardashians.

And, there is urgency to our spending!

DON'T MISS OUT - ONE DAY ONLY - THIS FRIDAY - DEALS LIKE NEVER BEFORE, ETC., ETC., ETC.,

In the end, the only ones being "successful", at least by THEIR standards, are the corporations that own the stores.

Donald Trump, in my mind, is no different. He measures his success by his wealth. In fact, he measures ALL success in dollars and cents. Just like Black Friday he is in our faces demanding that we buy. In his case, it is he himself that he is selling - just like he would one of his multi-million dollar apartments. Whether we liked the style or not, we MUST acknowledge their $$$ value.. In fact, if we did NOT like the style, there must be something wrong with us - because something worth that much money just HAS to be beautiful! And, he sells that line of crap all of the time. Should anyone question his tactics or strategy (of which he has none of either) he immediately attacks their integrity by questioning their net worth! He bullies them with it.

He worships money and equates anything that comes from it as good. Like the Gordon Gekko character of Wall St. fame, Trump is here to remind us: Greed Is Good.

Well, we have a word for that: avarice.

So, we ask, why, then, do so many people support a man who embodies qualities like greed and rapacity that most of the rest of us find abhorrent?

The answer lies with the people who are now currently flooding the retail outlets, buying - at all costs - on BLACK FRIDAY.

A Thanksgiving Message 2015

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Unfortunately, for too many of our holidays, traditional has become synonymous with commercial - so much so that we often don't know the difference. Thanksgiving is no exception. The fact that many retail stores will be open for the holiday is ample evidence of that.

Most of us know the history of Thanksgiving - you know, the Pilgrims, Lincoln, and all that. But, too many of us have forgotten the MEANING.

Today, we should focus on the gifts we have - our family, our friends, our very lives. We are thankful for our freedom and to those who protect it. We are grateful for our warm homes and the bounty so many of us are so fortunate to have. We are blessed to love and be loved.

But, to make the holiday complete we must not forget those who are less fortunate than we. We must remember that many will spend the day cold, hungry, and alone. And, we must take it one step further - we must do everything that we can to help them.

Enjoy the fullness of the day with food, family, and friends. And, take a moment to commit to making the world a better place.

Happy Thanksgiving - all!!

When You Think About It. How would you like to be defined?

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Most of us resist being labeled. We don't like being categorized as being this way or that. I know that I certainly do not like it. Still, even allowing for our individuality, all of us exhibit tendencies that tend to show a collective way of thinking, especially during the political season.

So, with this in mind, I decided to see what the dictionary says about the two most important labels at this time of year: CONSERVATIVE VS LIBERAL. I cut and pasted the results directly from the definitions. I neither added or detracted from what I found. You may draw your own conclusions:

conservative

[kuh n-sur-vuh-tiv] 

 

• Examples
• Word Origin

adjective

1.

disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change.

2.

cautiously moderate or purposefully low:

a conservative estimate.

3.

traditional in style or manner; avoiding novelty or showiness:

conservative suit.

4.

(often initial capital letter) of or relating to the Conservative party.

5.

(initial capital letter) of, relating to, or characteristic of ConservativeJews or Conservative Judaism.

6.

having the power or tendency to conserve or preserve.

7.

Mathematics. (of a vector or vector function) having curl equal to zero;irrotational; lamellar.

liberal

[lib-er-uh l, lib-ruh l] 

 

• Synonyms
• Examples
• Word Origin

adjective

1.

favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.

2.

(often initial capital letter) noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform.

3.

of, pertaining to, based on, or advocating liberalism, especially the freedom of the individual and governmental guarantees of individual rights and liberties.

4.

favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, especially as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.

5.

favoring or permitting freedom of action, especially with respect tomatters of personal belief or expression:

a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers.

6.

of or relating to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies.

7.

free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant:

Today's MOZEN: It's a Matter of the Mind.

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Perhaps, you remember the story. I posted it a few months back. It's true.

On one of my frequent sojourns into my little village of Nyack, NY, I noticed something at one of the bus stops that I pass along my route. It's a well manicured stop with a couple of nice benches to wait on. It's also lined by a handsome stone wall. On one of the lower ledges of the wall, I noticed something peculiar; there was a bunch of canned food stacked there. They were simple things -string beans, corn, and the like. It couldn't have cost more than a few bucks. According to the way they were left, I didn't get the impression that they were forgotten. Rather, it appeared to me that they were left - deliberately - for someone to take home. There was no note, no instructions, no desire for credit. It was a selfless act of kindness. It was as sublime as it is magnificent. Whomever needed them most should have them.

As I continue my habit of strolling into town, I still pass the same bus stop. Periodically, when I remember to, I'll look at the spot where I first saw the cans of food. Most often, it is empty. But, now and again, as it was the other night, the cans appear!! It's always the same: a few cans of inexpensive food. There is no note, no instruction - just a simple, selfless act of kindness.

In these most trying times, I believe that it is more important than ever to capture the mindset of this person/persons who practice these selfless acts of kindness. It is through this thinking - one of open mind and heart that will win the war on terror. All the bombs and bullets in the world cannot do more than the power of love. When we incorporate this into our everyday thinking, our lives, and the world, will improve.

Now, before those more "hawkish" than I go off telling me how nonsensical that sounds. My head will be the first to fly under an ISIS knife. As I've said before, please don't mistake compassion for weakness. Compassion and fierce strength are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they are most complimentary. As a matter of personal experience, all of the toughest men that I have met in my life were quite often the most gentle, too. They had no fear.

So, make NO mistake; the thugs who call themselves ISIS must be stopped. And, apparently, the only way to do it is with the force of arms. A coalition of nations must form to annihilate this threat. There seems to be no other option. I support that option.

What I am writing about here, and expressed by gesture at the bus stop, is that our minds must ALWAYS return to compassion. Everything that we do in our daily lives MUST be tempered with it. If we do not, if we can't or won't, we cannot distinguish ourselves from the very ones we are fighting. The whole point of TERROR is to get into the enemies head. When they do, they have one.

I simply will not allow that to happen.

I think the next time that I see the cans at the bus stop, I'm going quick stop market on the next corner and get a few more cans to add to the stack. Will you do the same?

Today's MOZEN: Ever Vigilent

My New Motto:

Marlowe never sleeps until he knows the world is safe.
                                                                           "The Lady in the Lake". Raymond Chandler

INDEED.

Woman: Do you always fall in love with all of your clients, Mr. Marlowe?

Marlowe: Only the ones in skirts.

Lady in the Lake

Today's MOZEN: A Choice to Make

F LoBuono

Here are two, distinct visions of America. The first is from the famous poem, written by Emma Lazarus and is immortally enshrined on a plaque at the base of the Statue of Liberty. 

The second is from the song, "Dirty Boulevard" written and performed by Lou Reed.                                                                                                                                                 

The choice is our. . .                                                                                                                   

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Give me your hungry, your tired, your poor I'll piss on 'em
That's what the Statue of Bigotry says
Your poor huddled masses
Let's club 'em to death
And get it over with and just dump 'em on the boulevard

Get 'em out on the dirty boulevard
Goin' out to the dirty boulevard
They're going down on the dirty boulevard
Goin' out