A Mother's Day Message 2017

F LoBuono

It was a piece of advice given to my mother by her mother, who in turn imparted it to me.

I must have been about 13 or 14 and my parents were in desperate need of a new car. They had driven around in jalopies for most of their (and our) lives. They were not people of means. And, my father's debilitating illnesses (like asthma) were a constant financial burden on the family. In other words, they were virtually broke. So, they kept vehicles FAR past their efficient use. In fact, I remember a Buick my father owned that had a huge hole in the floor that he covered with a car mat. We'd remove it to watch the highway go by under our feet!

They so desperately wanted a new, reliable vehicle that they could feel safe in and be proud of. But, where would the money come from? I remember my parents discussing what they might do when the idea of borrowing the money from my grandmother came up. My folks were loath to burrow from ANYONE and my grandmother was not a woman of means either. But, there was no viable alternative. And, so, hats in hand, they went to her.

I'll never forget my grandmother's response. Without hesitation, in her thick Italian accent, she said:

Of course, I will give you the money. It was going to be yours after I died anyway. So, why should I wait until then when I can give it to you now and SEE you actually enjoy it.

I remember my grandmother delivering $5,000 cash, all in crisp, $100 bills. My mother cried when she counted the money - she had never seen a $100 bill before.

The moral of the story is this: Don't postpone kindness. Don't hold back showing your love. Don't wait until it's too late to express your deep feelings for someone. Do it now. Do it often. I think that we all fantasize about the nice things people will say about us at our funerals (at least we HOPE that will say them!). Well, don't wait until then - say them now about the others in your life.

With this in mind and Mother's Day upon us, I'd like to say this about Stella: She has been the rock of my existence. Of course, she loves me unconditionally and demonstrates it constantly. But, she is also honest. She supports me completely when she feels that I am right, but also challenges me when I am wrong. She is fierce in her independence and imparted that drive to me. She has taught me to respect ALL who earn it and demand respect in return. She has shown me what it means to be gentle without fear. She gave me a love of reading and learning. And, perhaps, most importantly, she infused in me a self-confidence to know that although I am no better than anyone else, certainly the converse is true - in the end, I need not answer to anyone but myself.

Happy Mother's Day, Stella. Happy Mother's Day to all the women fortunate enough to have earned the title, mother. We love you all!!!!!!!

Today's MOZEN: What's in a Photo?

Photo: Alexander Scheherbak/Tass via Getty Images

Calling all Freedom Loving Americans, especially those Patriots who see themselves as undaunted supporters of our current President and administration. I need your opinions on this photo. It's a simple question, but you may take as time as you like with your answer. The backstory behind the photo is this:

The image is of a beaming President Trump greeting the Russian delegation, including the Russian ambassador and foreign minister, at the White House - in the midst of firing the man in charge of the Russian investigation. It was made by a RUSSIAN PHOTOGRAPHER (TASS News Agency) and distributed by the Kremlin - because the AMERICAN media was barred from the meeting.

What say you???????????

Today's MOZEN: Lord Acton

F LoBuono

As much as I prefer my own, original writing for my posts, at times someone else has said it first and better. This is one of the those occasions:

Absolute monarchies are those in which all power is given to or, as is more often the case, taken by, the monarch. Examples of absolute power corrupting are Roman emperors (who declared themselves gods) and Napoleon Bonaparte (who declared himself an emperor).

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely" arose as part of a quotation by the expansively named and impressively hirsute John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton, first Baron Acton (1834–1902). The historian and moralist, who was otherwise known simply as Lord Acton, expressed this opinion in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton in 1887:

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men."

I believe we have a man obsessed with gaining absolute power and is by no means "great" at our helm.  He is simply bad .

Today's PEG-BOARD 5/10/2017

Coming out with a new scent called "Mom Purse"......its a heady scent of pepprmint gum, hand lotion samples, cherry lip gloss, smudged to-do-list ink, and weed flakes............

Today's MOZEN: And The Beat Goes On

F LoBuono

Let me keep this as simply as possible for the President's supporters - judging from his rhetoric, consistent with that from a petulant 12 year-old, it seems to be the only way to get them to understand:

Firing the man in charge of the investigation aimed at exploring potential wrong-doing, some of it possibly illegal, of your administration is simply DEPLORABLE. Yes, you heard me - that word again - DEPLORABLE. A better, more honest and transparent path to take would have been to let FBI Director James Comey finish the investigation and, then, if flaws were found in the procedure, relieve him of his duties. Doing it now, in the midst of this investigation, REEKS of impropriety and a COVER-UP!

Let me remind people of the truest statement made by ANY candidate during the campaign trail. It was uttered by Mr. Trump:

I could shoot someone in the middle of Fith Avenue and not lose any voters.

Euphemistically, he just did.

And, the beat goes on . . .

Runaway Locomotive

F LoBuono

- sometimes
- I feel like a GIANT run-a-way fuckin' diesel locomotive
- starting slowly
- building pressure - spinning dials - releasing valves
- coal burning - hotter and hotter - inching forward
- gaining speed and power
- more and more
- faster and faster
- massive wheels pressing steel rails
- more and more
- faster and faster
- fire raging - burning in the belly - steam screaming - red lining
- faster and faster
- more and more
- faster and faster
- it cannot be stopped - wheels grinding - sparks flying
- MIND racing
- it cannot be stopped
- I cannot be stopped
- even death fears to intervene
- IRRESISTIBLE 
- more and more
- faster and faster
- until we reach the END.

Today's MOZEN: What's in a Name?

F LoBuono

My real name is Francis. Francis Joseph LoBuono.  Well, at least that's what it says on my birth certificate. In the Sicilian tradition, as the first-born male child, I am named after my paternal grandfather. My middle name is in honor of my father. In a bizarre twist of fate, my brother is Joseph Francis. Also in the Sicilian tradition, as the second boy, he is named after my father, Joseph. His middle name comes from my mother's father, also named "Frank", hence the Francis (more on why "Francis" and not "Frank" in a moment). So, technically, my full name is Francis Joseph and my brother, Joseph Francis LoBuono.

Got it?

Now, just when you thought it couldn't get more old-fashioned and complicated, there's this:

Even though I was named after my grandfather, I'm sure that in his Sicilian village, he was not called Francis. It had to be Francesco. But, when my family emigrated, they wanted to assimilate - so much so that my maternal grandfather insisted that they speak English at home. His name became the anglicized Frank. It was the same with my father's family. In fact, my maternal grandmother came here as an infant and, unlike my maternal grandmother, spoke with no accent. It's strange - and, a story for another day - but, I know much more of my mother's father than I do of my father's. What I do know is that both of my grandfathers, to this day, are know as FRANK. So, I was to be called the same - Frank.

However, at that time, to be baptized in the Catholic Church, you had to have a saints name (and a patron saint). There is no Saint Frank. However, there is a Saint Francis. And, so I was to be officially baptized as Francis Joseph LoBuono. My patron saint was to be Saint Francis of Assisi.

As I said previously, that may be what is on my birth certificate but no one, except my mother when she's pissed off at me, and a few select friends, has EVER called me Francis - Frankie, yes - Francis, never.

There was a time that I hated the very idea of the name Francis. After all, it's a GIRL'S name, too! But, I did feel a connection with my patron saint, Francis of Assisi. I always found his personal story of rejection of personal wealth for the benefit of the poor and his love of animals (he is the patron saint of animals, too) compelling. However, even there I could find a hint of the dreaded femininity - St. Francis of A-Sissy - get it? It did not fit with the image I had of what it meant to be a boy. Then there was the popular movie "Meatballs" with Bill Murray and Ivan Reitman. Released in 1979, Murray plays a lovable loser who decides to join the Army and straighten out his life. There he meets his antagonist, a psychopath named Francis. One of the more memorable lines in the film, uttered by Murray's character in response to his foes anti-social behavior is "settle down, Francis" - with the emphasis on FRANCIS - as if the name itself were the insult.

Those days are long gone. I no longer suffer from whatever gender security issues that may have plagued me in my youth. And, Francis can be seen as more elegant than the rather blunt sounding FRANK.

I suppose that my obituary will read Francis, ne' Frank, LoBuono has passed. I don't know, but I really don't find that morbid. In fact, I kind of get a kick out of it. It's sort of mysterious, like I had a secret identify. In the end, what's in a name anyway?

Today's Mostly True Short Story: A Day in the Life of the George Washington Bridge

F LoBuono

The traffic sucked - just for a change. Yeah, right! The George Washington Bridge (GWB) is the busiest in the world. 276,000 vehicles cross that bridge on any given day. That's 102 million/year. Since I grew up in Fort Lee - the New Jersey side of the bridge and have worked in New York City for over 15 years - I am intimately acquainted with that structure. I have attempted to cross that bridge at almost any given hour of the day: 9am, 2pm, 4am - doesn't matter. You can encounter traffic at any moment. And, I usually do. What makes it even more frustrating is that it's rarely an issue with the bridge itself. More than likely it involves the road the bridge leads to and is one of the worst highways in the world: the Cross Bronx Expressway.

This afternoon was no exception. Despite the heavy rain, I made good time on my first leg; down the Palisades Interstate Parkway(PIP) and to the GWB. Once I paid the toll and make the long loop unto the bridge, I saw the traffic on the bridge was at a virtual standstill. I grumbled: shit! not AGAIN! But, I resigned myself to my fate. I would inch across the bridge and do the best that I could to make it to work on time (I always leave myself extra time). But, I certainly was not a happy camper!

I began the process of wedging myself into the flow of traffic when I noticed her out of the corner of my eye. The entrance from the PIP to the bridge is carved out of the very living rock of the mighty Palisades, one of the rarest and most spectacular geologic features in the world. Banking hard, her wings spread to full extension, a Red Tailed hawk was soaring high above the traffic and around the massive stone face of the Palisades. I only got a glimpse. She made the turn around the cliffs and disappeared in seconds, heading down river. But, it made me think - and, then, smile. Instead of thinking how miserable it was to be stuck in traffic, I marveled at how nature can still survive, even thrive, despite our best efforts to destroy it! Besides, hawks are my spirit guides - animals that show us the way. And, she certainly did. I merged, made it over the bridge in about 10 or 15 minutes and make it to work on time. All in a day on the GWB!

The Peg Board 5/3/2017

I'm almost certain that my last words before I die are going to be..... "Let me pee first".....

QUOTE OF THE DAY - James Baldwin

F LoBuono

It's no secret as to where my sentiments lie in regards to President Donald J. Trump. I'd like to say that nothing has changed. However, that would not be entirely accurate. I have changed. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it has.

Many still cling to the belief that the office of the President demands respect beyond whomever might hold the office. I disagree. Vehemently. Respect must be earned on EVERY level. A title is nothing more than costume jewelry if it is not truly earned and kept through a bond created by honesty, intelligence, and empathy - traits that this President has shown little, if any, affinity for.

The latest round of moronic responses to legitimate questions including those about the Civil War and Andrew Jackson show a man who woefully lacks in intelligence, subtlety, and intuition. In fact, they would be laughable if we were talking about a comedian instead of the Leader of the Free World.

I suppose that James Baldwin may have expressed this concern best:

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have.


* The opinions expressed in this post are strictly my own and do not necessarily reflect those of any other person or entity.