Today's MOZEN: Becoming a Big Person

F LoBuono

Man, I was down. I mean I was lower than whale shit. The woman I had every intention of spending my life with had seen the light, changed her mind, and left me. It wasn't the first time and, unfortunately, it wouldn't be the last, either. I suppose that I'm a glutton for punishment. Be that as it may, I was a hurtin' cowboy. And, it showed. I walked around wearing my sorrow like an old, cheap, wrinkled suit.

At the time, I was working as a producer/reporter for the local cable company in West Nyack, N.Y. It was my first job in television and provided me with the necessary experience to build my career. But, it was small potatoes. I mean you couldn't get more basic for production facilities. We didn't even have our own space. We shared a garage-type building with a company called Tidy Car that undercoated vehicles to prevent rusting.

You can imagine the type of chemicals they were using for their product. I think it would be safe to call many of the ingredients toxic. On days that they were very busy, the noxious orders would get so bad that we would have to evacuate our side of the building. But, hey, it was a living!

One of the men who worked for Tidy Car was a middle-aged black man named Henry. Henry always had a good word whenever you encountered him. He had a deep voice that had a hint of Southern molasses mixed in. It gave me the impression that he had probably grown up there, although I didn't know for sure. But, whatever his circumstances, he was a jovial fellow.

Another thing that I remember about Henry were his eyes. They were always terribly blood shot. I mean it looked like you could train a pint of blood out of each one! Perhaps, Henry was a "hard liver" and drank too much on his down time. But, I always attributed it to the fact that he was exposed so directly to those toxic fumes. If it was harsh enough for us to evacuate from the other side of the building, one can only imagine the deleterious effects on someone right on top of them - hour after hour, day after day. One thing was for certain, it didn't get Henry down. He always had something positive to say.

One day, in the midst of my misery, I needed a short break from work. I just wanted a few minutes away from my office to go into the fresh air where I could collect my thoughts and, quite frankly, get my shit together. There was a little patch of woods adjacent to our parking lot where I found a little shade and a rock to sit on. As I sat there alone, contemplating the depth of my misery, Henry noticed and walked over. When I saw him coming my way, I hopped up, hoping that he wouldn't notice what bad shape I was in. Well, he did. And, then he said something strange to me:

Young man, you are going to be SO BIG someday, whoo hee, yes sir!

It took me completely by surprise and I had no idea what he meant.

Hello, Henry. Waz up? I replied.

Then he said: you don't know it now. In fact, you won't believe it NOW. But, someday, you are going to be a BIG PERSON.

I looked at him in disbelief: Henry, that's just crazy. I just couldn't be any lower than I am right now. I may never get over this!, I cried.

That's the point, my friend. You are being tested. Everyone gets tested in their lives. Those people of character who survive use that experience to grow into more complete humans, capable of tremendous compassion. If you can just hang in there, you will be one of those people.

Henry didn't say another word. He patted me on the back and just walked away.

At first, I just kind of dismissed it as the ramblings of some crazy, old black man. I mean, after all, he was inhaling all of that toxic junk all day long. Maybe, it had gone to his brain.  I dragged my sorry ass back into the building.

But, I just keeping hearing his words, over and over again: someday, you are going to be a BIG PERSON. Eventually, they started to sink in. Henry didn't mean BIG in a physical or economic way. He meant it in an emotional way. If I could overcome the pain associated with that tremendous sense of loss, it would put me in a position of REAL power - as a person who leads with the compassion that only comes with perseverance based on personal experience. In times of trouble, people would look to me to guide them through their own wilderness. And, you can't get any BIGGER than that.

Eventually, our studio moved into swanky new digs and, I believe, that Tidy Car went out of business. After our move, I never saw Henry again. But, I'll never forget him, or the words of encouragement that he gave me when I need them so desperately. I could only imagine the indignities he suffered before becoming a BIG PERSON himself. I honor him by returning the favor to others.

Today's MOZEN: Go For It!

F LoBuono

In an effort to create a more inclusive world, we now have a dizzying array of terms to describe the incredible range of human gender and sexual identity. There is hetero, homo, bi, cis, non-binary, trans, fluid, queer, neutral, inter, variant, and, I'm sure, others that I haven't learned of yet.

For many of us, they are coming at a rate that can be confusing and, yes, frustrating, to keep up with.

My way of coping, as it usually is with such complicated issues, is to simply things to their essential essence. And, for me, in this case, that means -

I don't give a shit what you identify yourself as!!!

And, I mean that it in a good way.

Why would anyone care how anyone else chooses to call themselves? It does YOU no harm. Furthermore, you don't need MY permission, or anyone else's for that matter, to be who you FEEL you are! And, if someone judges you for that choice, there is an appropriate response. It might go something like this: I'm sorry that you feel that way. But, if you can't accept that, the problem is yours, not mine. Then politely add, if that's not good enough, you can go fuck yourself.

I understand that the labeling is done in a sincere effort to establish more, not less, understanding among people. However, because creating labels can also produce a mindset that people are too different and, therefore, weird, it needs to be addressed. Well, in my world, different and weird are GOOD things - especially if they do no harm to themselves or others. It kinda' makes the world go 'round.

To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, I yearn for the day when people will be judged by the content of their character rather than the identity of their gender/sexual preferences.

LIVE your life how you imagine it without fear or hesitation. It is YOURS to have and keep. It is the only one we have. So, in the final analysis, what the rest of the world thinks about you is irrelevant.

GO FOR IT!

Today's MOZEN: Before You Sleep

Words and photo by F LoBuono

If you can say yes to the question; have I affected the world in some positive way, any way, even in the simplest sense, then you have done enough and you may rest easy.

Today's MOZEN: A Cautionary Tale

Julius Caesar

“Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world. Like a Colossus, and we petty men. Walk under his huge legs and peep about. To find ourselves dishonorable graves."

Shakespeare wrote this line for is play "Julius Caesar" over 420 years ago as a cautionary tale of absolute power corrupting absolutely. It could have been written yesterday in reference to President Donald J. Trump and his lackeys.

Beware my friends, beware . . . 

Today's MOZEN: The Message

F LoBuono

It is estimated that there are about 4300 religions* in the world with Christianity being the largest, followed by Islam. So, it means a lot of things to a lot of people. For some, it means EVERYTHING.

I spent my formative years being well indoctrinated in the Roman Catholic version. I went to a parochial grammar school, attended church regularly, and even became an alter boy. Religion taught me many lessons, some of them even profound.

But, that was then. And, this is now.

I no longer subscribe to ANY organized religion. The thousands of rituals, rights, rules, and superstition simply became too much for me to bear. I felt like my karma had run over my dogma!

You see, I'm more interested in the message rather than the messenger. And, there have been many of those: Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Abraham, etc. They have come in various shapes, sizes, colors and cultures. All of them are considered divine in one way or another. However, I am also not interested in their divinity. It matters not to me. What is MOST important to me is their shared message of compassion over cruelty, generosity over greed, diligence over sloth, kindness over malice, awareness over neglect, joy over sorrow, perseverance over aversion, peace over discord, inclusion over discrimination, and most importantly, love over hate.

I have no issue with those who practice traditional religions in a traditional way, especially is it brings one to a place of peace. Because that's the purpose of spirituality - to bring peace and love to not only ourselves but those around us. And, any way you get there is just fine by me.

*https://www.quora.com/How-many-different-religions-are-there-in-the-world

Todays' MOZEN: Bloomberg or Bust?

Photo: Calla Kessler/NY Times

The first-time presence of Mayor Michael Bloomberg, made last night's (2/19/20) Democratic Debate in Las Vegas highly anticipated. Because Mr. Bloomberg's extreme wealth gives him the ability to self-finance his own campaign, he was not able to participate in all of the previous debates. However, due to a rule change by the DNC, he was able to join this time.

Instead of the finely crafted message that the $400 million he has spent so far can buy, potential Democrat voters would be able to see Mr. Bloomberg in "real time". They wanted to see if he could earn the nomination instead of simply buying it.

And, in my opinion, he stumbled - terribly.

Because of who he is and his billion dollar personal fortune, and the fact that he was the new kid on the block with rising poll numbers, he HAD to know that he would be the target of the other 5 candidates he would have to share the stage with. In addition to his money and status, he also entered the fray with a considerable amount of baggage such as his support of the controversial Stop and Frisk policy under his administration, as well as multiple accusations of sexual misconduct within his business empire. That's why I was so surprised that he had such limited success in response to their attacks, especially for a man with such resources and a reputation as a meticulous organizer.

Elizabeth Warren took him to task on the women's issue. Bernie Sanders attacked him as just another oligarch. The other's piled on over various other issues. All of it should have been expected! Yet, Mr. Bloomberg had vague, limited responses to the most pressing issues. As for women, he defended against those criticisms by saying, in a sense, he likes women and promotes them regularly within his world (a la DJT). As for his money, when pressed on releasing his tax returns, he claimed they were too complicated to do so at this point (also a la DJT). And, he also came across as old, frustrated and pedantic.

Bloomberg's supporters know that debating is not his forte. It never has been. His voice is often whiny and his presence aloof. They say that personally he is none of these things. But, for those of us who will never meet or know him personally, we can only take away what he shows us publicly. And, if last night's performance is any indication, he is in serious trouble.

Some will question what could be expected from a situation where all of the other candidates spent most of their time attacking him? They'll claim that he went high when the others went low. Well, Presidential politics ain't no place for the faint of heart! It is getting to the time when the gloves come off and we are left with a bare knuckle brawl! As one pundit put it, he brought a wallet to a knife fight.

Look, I don't like the fact the Democrats seem to be eating their own as it falls right into the hands of Donald J. Trump. And, I agree that people of conscience must do everything within their power to support whomever the eventual nominee will be in defeating him. However, because the ultimate contest will be for the heart and soul of America, we need a person tough enough, smart enough, and resilient enough to take on someone whose greatest strength is being a bully.

If Mr. Bloomberg is that person, he cannot do so by buying us. He must show us. Last night, he fell well short of that goal. However, it is important that, as a leader, he demonstrate that he can roll with the punches, pick himself up off the floor, and come back stronger than ever.

Time will tell.

Today's MOZEN: More Than Money

Michael Bloomberg, The Hill

With former NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg firmly committed to running to be the 2020 Democratic nominee for President of the United States, his critics (of which he has his share) are crying "foul". In addition to their concerns over his controversial Stop and Frisk policy which unfairly targeted people of color in the City, they site the extraordinary amount of his own money the billionaire is spending to advertise his campaign (over $400 million).

And, I get it.

No one wants a tainted election where the winner was only assured success by the power of the purse rather than by their strength of character. But, if history has proven anything it is that money alone is not enough to guarantee victory in the election.

Certainly, having a huge war chest gives one significant advantages like the ability to higher the best political operatives and buy enough media to make certain that your message will be heard. And, there within lies the key.

Simply put, if your message does not resonate with voters NO amount of money will buy you the election.

Ross Perot/David J. Phillip AP

In recent years, in addition to Bloomberg, there have been at least 5 other multi-millionaires/billionaires who have vied for the title of President: Ross Perot (1992), Steve Forbes (2000), Mitt Romney/Donald Trump (2016) and Tom Steyer (2020). Of the 5, only Donald Trump was successful in his bid for the Presidency. All but Mr. Trump did not even make it to their perspective conventions. And, Mr. Steyer, currently in the race for the 2020 Democratic nomination, has not risen about 3% in any poll of voters indicating that he is a VERY unlikely candidate to win it now.

So, if money were enough, why is the success rate of these wealthy and powerful men so anemic?

Well, thankfully, it appears that as important as money is in running a campaign, there are MANY other determining factors before a voter makes his or her choice.

George Washington/Painting John Trumbull

Now, this is NOT and endorsement of Michael Bloomberg. Rather, it's a call to reason. Money has indeed been a reality in politics - not only now, but since the inception of this Country. Virtually ALL of the Founding Fathers were men of considerable means (George Washington was said to be worth over $525 million when adjusted for today's standards). So, as much as progressives would like to see money virtually eliminated from modern politics, the reality is much less clear.

So, in the meantime, remember, NO candidate is without flaws. ALL of them have negatives in one form or another. It's just a matter of whose message and plan for success compliments your own. WE have the ultimate power - it's called THE VOTE -USE IT!

F LoBuono

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT: Life in the Big City

Words and photo by f LoBuono

Birds are known to be arboreal creatures. If you are lucky enough to have a bunch of trees surrounding your house or apartment, I'm sure that you must spend some time in delighting in the music of their calls and the antics of their behavior. I am indeed fortunate to have that be the case at the place I call home.

So, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, how do you explain the many thousands of birds that populate large cities like New York, with its steel and glass canyons and dearth of trees? But, they ARE here, often in the most unlikely of places.

For example, I was making some photos as I often do from the rooftop of the CBS Broadcast center on W57th St. in the heart of midtown Manhattan. Suddenly, a small, flying black object that was moving west to east down 57th St. caught my eye. At first, I thought that it might be a black plastic bag that had gotten caught in the steady breeze blowing towards the river. But, as I looked more closely, I saw that it was a bird, a raven or crow, steadily flapping his wings as he continued to gain altitude. He had a large twig in his mouth and was making steady progress, going higher and higher, apparently heading for the taller building across the street from my location. I was on a building 10 stories into the air and the one that he was aiming for was twice as tall.

Two things struck me: the bird's flying seemed almost effortless as he climbed higher and higher, heading for the roof of that high-rise. I assumed that the twig was in his mouth to use for constructing a nest with his partner there and, apparently, proved no nuisance. It was as if the skyscrapers were merely canyons of glass to him.  Next, 57th is virtually devoid of trees. There are a few that line the street but they might be described more as saplings than full fledged trees. In fact, the closet mature ones inhabit Central Park, about a quarter mile away.

Yet, here was a black bird, far from his natural habitat, obviously still doing what birds do everywhere - building a nest to ensure future generations of his kind. This one just happened to be on a steel, brick, and glass monolith. After watching for a few minutes he disappeared somewhere on the roof.

Perhaps, you have to be a New Yorker to truly appreciate this, but, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT, doesn't that bird represent what we all feel about living here? We all find a way to make it work. From the birds, to the bees, to the horse drawn Hansom cabs carting tourists through Central Park EVERYONE is part of a larger whole, living, working, and making New York the Greatest City in the World.

Today's MOZEN: The World's Greatest

F LoBuono

Even with my very healthy ego firmly in place, I have to admit that Donald J. Trump is a much bigger man than me in almost every way. He's a little over 6'2". I'm just under 5'10". He weighs over 250 lbs. I'm about 185. He lives in any one of a plethora of mansions and is chauffeur driven. I have a one bedroom apartment and drive a car with over 285,000 miles on it. I work as a technician. He ran a multi-million dollar real estate empire. I was president of my high school class. He is the most powerful man on earth.

So, what right do I have to criticize a man who in so many ways is larger than life (certainly MY life, anyway)?

Well, I believe that it has everything to do with a few things called honesty and integrity.

I have tried to live an honest life in all its aspects, including my appearance. I do not adorn myself with fancy clothing or jewelry. I would NEVER even consider dying my hair or beard, now flecked with copious amounts of silver and grey. I have never straitened my nose or teeth, both of which tend to go in their own directions. I drive a simple car with hundreds of thousands of miles on it - not because I can't afford a new one but, rather, because it suits me and still runs just fine. I live alone, simply and quietly, not by necessity but by choice. And, as a career, I have done honest work from the very beginning, never screwing anyone in the process and earning every dime.

Mr. Trump cannot make the same claims.

First, EVERYTHING about his appearance is phony. His hair, piled on top of a balding head in an elaborate comb-over, is dyed a pale gold. His teeth have obviously been straightened and whitened artificially. His skin glows with an orange luster caused by some type of spray on tanning chemical.

As for his business empire, so much of it has been predicated on various smoke and mirror techniques that it would send even an economist's head spinning. In a recent NY Times Sunday Magazine cover article (2/9/2020), "I.O.U. Donald Trump - The inside story of Donald Trump and Deutsche Bank, his lender and last resort", author David Enrich paints a picture of a man desperate to find money when, based on his previous track record no entity would lend him any, and a bank so intent on name recognition, they would break all the rules to do so:

Trump was among the beneficiaries of these shortcuts. Before making the Chicago loan, Deutsche Bank conducted an informal audit of his finances. Trump had declared to the bank that he was worth more than $3 billion, but Deutsche Bank concluded the real number was closer to $788 million - a quarter of what Trump said it was. For most banks, this would have been disqualifying, but Deutsche Bank was undeterred. Executives were so eager for growth and big deals that they managed to look past the obvious red flags. In February 2005, they agreed to lend him $640 million for the Chicago project.

The bank went on to create numerous "special purpose vehicles" for Mr. Trump to quietly and inexpensively acquire international properties. In other words, the tactics may or may not have been illegal. But, they certainly were questionable within the banking industry.

Even with the help from Deutsche Bank, Mr. Trump's so-called empire was once again in dire straights until he was rescued from the junk heap by another dose of smoke and mirrors. As exposed in a New Yorker article, How Mark Burnett Resurrected Donald Trump as an Icon of American Success (1/7/2019), author Patrick Radden Keefe, wrote how the masterful producer Burnett used The Apprentice to mythologize Trump - then a floundering "D-lister" as the ultimate titan, paving his way to the Presidency.

In other words, in order to create a hit TV show, Burnett used all the tricks of the trade that he learned in producing other successful reality TV shows like "Survivor" to give the APPEARANCE that Mr. Trump was something that he was NOT.

Simply put, his entire life, from his personal appearance to his business affairs, is based on a lie. It is said that he even cheats at golf! So, yes, Mr. Trump is so much greater than me but only in ways that I care not to be, i.e. as a phony.

Today's MOZEN: King MINUS

F LoBuono

When you have published as many TalkFrank blog posts as I have (nearly 1500), the danger is to avoid repetition - especially when considering that I feel that I have a moral imperative to respond to the daily assaults on the Rule of Law and Common Decency by a ruthless Administration. However, because these transgressions are so numerous and egregious, certain themes must be repeated. For me, it's this:

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.

I have used this as a direct quote or within a theme on at least 4 other occasions over the course of the last year and a half (1/6/20, 10/27/18, 10/20/18, 10/3/2018). The redundancy is simply unavoidable because the President never changes. If anything, his boorish behavior actually gets worse.

And, this should come as no surprise.

Because, we've GOTTEN what we paid for.

Donald J. Trump was never anything more than an Emperor With No Clothes. New Yorkers, the people he interacted with more than any other, knew that he was ALWAYS a phony and a blowhard. He was no King Midas but more like King Minus. He screwed contractors. He bullied underlings. He dodged the draft. He bankrupted multiple businesses. He cheated charities.

Then came reality TV, a brilliant Executive Producer in Mark Burnett, some great editors and cameramen, and a show called The Apprentice. It was a perfect format for a larger-than-life character like Donald J. Trump. It managed to turn a failed business man, barely hanging on in the brutal NY real estate market, into the image of a deal making powerhouse.

The show catapulted Mr. Trump into the role of a lifetime - a ruthless businessman who would bring needed change to the American Political System that so many of us had become disillusioned with. And, he rode that tide of discontent to the very highest position in the land.

But, we never got more than we paid for - and, we never will. He is the host of a Reality TV Show whose success is predicated on bluster and deception - a winning formula for banal TV viewing but disastrous for the Leader of the Free World.

His latest assault on decency comes in light of the capitulation by the Republican controlled Senate on the Articles of Impeachment. They have given an Egomaniacal, Intellectually Challenged Bully license to run rampant over any form of reasonable civility.

So, what did you (do you) expect?

Yes, we got what we paid for . . .