
Hey T.P.ers, I get the anger, and disillusionment. The government, in too many cases, has let us down; taxes, the economy, the war, etc. I hear ya'. I feel your pain (didn't someone else already say that!). So, I GET IT!
Commentary, dissent, opinion, creative writing, photography, discussion, discourse: all of this and more are to be found within this magic box. This blog was created to be a repository for all of those with an open mind. Our slogan is: TalkFrank, where the Talk is always Frank. And we mean it. ALL are encouraged to participate, even those misguided enough to disagree!!
Open Your Eyes!
10/26/10
It’s happened again. As it has for centuries. As it will again. Five soldiers have been accused of murdering innocent civilians. They are U.S. Army troops who were stationed in Afghanistan. At first, I purposely did not reveal their nationality or location. In a sense, it’s irrelevant. It could have been any soldiers of any nationality at any time or place. It is the nature of war. It turns young, innocent boys into killers. By its very nature it is Survival of the Fittest and The Law of the Jungle. It is the Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now. It is as General William T. Sherman put it a speech after the Civil War: “There is many a boy here today who looks on war as all glory, but, boys, it is all hell”.
Then why do we continue to wage it? Some will say that it is in our nature. War and conflict have always been part of the human experience. And it will be as long as we exist on this planet. But I refute that. Are we not thinking, feeling, and, supposedly rational beings? Isn’t it our intellect that separates us from the beasts of the earth? Isn’t our capability for sublime thought and feeling that makes us closest to whatever highest power we choose to follow? Does this not lead to a divine spirituality that every human being strides for under the guise of whatever religion we choose? If this is truly a search for a certain sense of divinity why, then, do we constantly fall into the same trap? We must seek the true spirituality of higher ground.
So, why do we constantly glorify war? We worship its heroism. We lionize the Pat Tillman’s of the world even when, had he lived, he would have been the first person to tear down the pedestal he had been placed on! We salute our returning troops as conquering heroes yet express outrage when photos of flag draped caskets are published. It’s all part of the same experience! This is the point: you can’t have one without the other. We have to open our once eyes once and for all to see war for what it truly is. There is a great scene in the film “Bridge on the River Kwai”. The British colonel who is in charge of the POW’s is entreating the Japanese camp commander to follow the rules of the Geneva Convention. The commander cuts he off and says, “don’t speak to me of rules. This is WAR”!
Dana Holmes, the mother of Pfc. Andrew Holmes, one of the accused soldiers, says the Army bears the major responsibility for her son’s behavior. She claims he left an innocent 18 year old and came back a beaten and broken man, physically and emotionally. Well, that’s what happens to many (most?) young people when you place them in a meat grinder called combat! It changes them forever, and not always for the better. And, as we evolve as a species, our reaction to the stress of combat has become increasingly destructive. The homeless rate for veterans is the highest it’s ever been. The suicide rate for veterans is appalling. I’m hoping that this latest calamity among our veterans is an evolutionary reaction within our brains to finally provide us with a gene that will prevent us from thinking that anything truly good can come from war.
And no generation is immune to it. Whether it’s a “just” war or not, it’s still a brutal business. Even “the greatest generation” suffered terribly the consequences of war. I thought this was powerfully realized in the last episode of “Pacific”, recently broadcast on HBO. As his father feared, Eugene’s soul was seared.
Of course, we should do a better job of making sure that our veterans receive the proper attention necessary to overcome the horrors they have experienced. But, in a sense, that’s like putting a band-aid on an axe wound. Also, we would be treating the symptom but not the cause. And that cause is our glorification of war AND its warriors. For example, whenever we mention the cadets of The USMA at West Point, they are usually referred to “the best of their generation” and “the future leaders of America”. Well, that they may indeed be the case but why are they always singled out for those honors? Aren’t other students from other schools and university just as worthy of such titles? Aren’t great teachers, chemists, doctors, lawyers, accountants, technicians, scientists, etc., etc., good enough for such consideration? Yet, whenever I hear another school mentioned during a college football game or other event, I don’t hear those terms used on such a regular basis.
At times of unpopular conflicts, I often hear “hate the war, not the warriors”. But, to me, this is becoming trite. Since Vietnam we seem to have heard that term in increasing volume. It started during Vietnam in reaction to the shameful behavior returning veterans experienced in this country. Since then, we’ve done a much better job of separating these young people from the often flawed decisions of their superiors. But even this is getting thin as a defense. In a volunteer army, it’s the recruits’ responsibility to understand that, upon that commitment, his ass belongs to someone else. And the decisions made by those people may, often, not have his or her best interests at heart.
Of course I respect those young people who serve in the military. But no more so than I do young people who dedicate their lives to other means of public service. And I would ask all young people (like Pfc. Holmes) and their parents/guardians (like Dana Holmes) to understand that joining the military is more than “be all you can be”. It can have truly deadly consequences.
I leave you with this. It’s also from General Sherman: “I confess, without shame, that I am sick and tired of fighting – it’s glory is all moonshine: even success the most brilliant is over dead and mangled bodies, with the anguish and lamentations of distant families appealing to me for sons, husbands, and fathers. . . It’s only those who have never heard a shot, never heard the shriek and groans of the wounded and lacerated . . . that cry aloud for more vengeance, more desolation. “ (May 1865)
photo: F. LoBuono
3/9/10
“A Love Affair”
It’s an affair that has lasted for nearly 30 years. It was love at first sight and it remains just as strong today. No, I’m not writing about my wife (I haven’t know her for that long!). I’m writing about the neighborhood that I called home for so many years: White Avenue in South Nyack, NY. I spent the summer of my life on that block. And what a bountiful time it was. We seemed to change and grow together - an ascending scale on a growth chart plotting a steady rise. The neighborhood evolved from a haven for crack cocaine dealers to a solid, diverse, middle-class one. And I rose from a struggling outsider to a successful member of a thriving community.
It was October of 1984 when I arrived, just off a failed romance; I was nearly broke and emotionally exhausted. In other words, I was down on my luck. And, at first, so was White Avenue. You could see that the neighborhood had once been solidly middle-class. The block has a mixture of architectural styles ranging from 1950’s ranch homes to a handful of modest Victorians. But like many small towns, once the bedrock businesses left, so did the prosperity. This begins a pattern of long, slow decay. Over the years, Nyack and South Nyack had experienced more than one cycle of “boom and bust”. In fact, South Nyack had been virtually cut in two when the NY State Thruway linked up with the Tappan Zee Bridge. The village lost one third of its beautiful, historic Victorian homes AND it’s entire downtown. So, this was just the latest “bust”. But when I came here I could feel the hint of “boom” still lurking in the atmosphere. It felt like it might be the end of the bust and, perhaps, the beginning of the next boom. It was strangely analogous to my state of mind.
When I pulled up to view a perspective apartment at 20 White, an unusual thing happened. I heard a women’s voice call out. At first, I couldn’t figure out where it came from. Then I looked up and discovered that it was originating from the small roof that covered the porch. There was a woman sunbathing there! She called out again, “are you looking to rent the apartment on the bottom floor”? I replied, “yes”. She said, “don’t move. I want to check you out”! It turned out to be the proverbial “beginning of a beautiful friendship”. Mary Alice (MA) lived on the top floor with her 3 children: Jane, Gary, and Rory. Raised in Rockland, she became my first friend in the neighborhood. MA turned out to be one of the most unique and special human beings I have ever encountered and, as it turned out, the perfect metaphor for White Ave.: soulful, thoughtful, nurturing, and free. I was hooked. I rented the apartment that afternoon.
In the beginning, it was not easy. There was a rocky out-cropping on the end of my front lawn, near the street. It’s a perfect place to sit, chill and watch the world go buy. The crack heads used to think so too. I used to collect the empty crack vials from the previous night’s ”swinging soiree” on my front lawn and give them to the police. I’d ask them, “What are you going to do about it”? Well, they actually did do something about it. With the blocks’ assistance, gradually, the drug dealing ended. The safe house that was diagonally across from me was emptied and sold to a Vietnam Vet and his young family. This was typical up and down the whole block. And we flourished. A terrific young couple, Andrew and Maureen, bought the house next to me, facing Franklin St. He was a carpenter and together they were restoring the old, run-down Victorian to its former glory. I met long-time White Ave. residents like Anthony and his family. There was Jim, another Vietnam vet and activist, Susan his wife and family. Cliff, Barbara and their kids had lived on the block it seemed forever. There was Robin and her daughter. And we experienced a steady flow of newcomers like Joanne, Vicki, and Cheryl. Gidi was a transplanted Israeli scientist, now at Lamont-Dougherty, and lived with his eventual wife, Laura, a child psychologist. For a time, they occupied the upstairs apartment from me. There was the Tibetan family headed by Tashi and Tashi (husband and wife with the same name – cool!). There were whites, blacks, browns, yellows and people of every shade in between. We sat on our porches and waived as our neighbors drove by. We had family barbeques attended by most of the block. Heck, we even threw a block party of our own. Kids played touch football in the street. We watched the teenagers, decked out in their “go to the prom” finest, pose for the obligatory family photo. We buried cherished family pets in our backyards. We experienced the fullness of community life.
It reminded me of those magical summer evenings, sitting together on my grandmother’s porch in Brooklyn, letting the world flow by but at the same time being connected to it. In the truest sense of the word, I felt like I was home for the first time since I had left the safety and security of my parents so many years before.
Eventually, my lot improved and I outgrew my apartment at #20. I was ready to buy my first home. I began looking early in the Spring of 1996. I didn’t have to look far. There was a small, 3 bedroom Victorian that would fit my budget and was, in fact, within walking distance - literally. It was virtually across the street at 61 White! The house, like the neighborhood, was a little worn but had the potential to be everything I needed in a home. If you had any vision, you could see it. Once again, White Avenue and I were locked in step on a steady rise to respectability.
It was the easiest move that I ever made. I never even rented a moving truck. I rolled, hauled, and carted everything by hand, across and up the street. In another neighborhood that may have seemed strange. But not in ours. It was why I loved it so much. People cared about how and why they lived there. They also respected the way you chose to live your life. This was just another day in our neighborhood.
I continued my professional and personal growth at 61 White. I cultivated a small garden in my backyard. I was making more money so I could make changes and improvements on the house itself. And, once again, the block continued on the same steady path of progress as my own. We had created a momentum that propelled the entire neighborhood in a positive direction. In a way, we were the poster children for urban renewal. Once a haven for undesirables, our neighborhood now was culturally, ethnically, racially, and professionally diverse. In hindsight, it seemed nearly perfect.
The neighborhood was thriving and this must include change. Like an ocean current whose churning waters provide for the very cycle of life, White Avenue was also churning. For various reasons, many long time residents moved on. MA and her brood, Andrew and Maureen, Robin, Jim and Susan, all reluctantly left our little enclave. My life was changing too. I met my wife, Catherine, and we married in 2000. She and her 3 sons moved into 61 White in the summer of that year. She shared the same passion for our neighborhood as I did. But our tiny but “spacious for two/maybe three house” was now stretched to the breaking point. It became more and more of a challenge to squeeze five adults into that space. Leaving our beloved neighborhood became inevitable.
We moved to a big, old house in Haverstraw in the Spring of ’06. We saw a similar situation and the same potential here that I had experienced in Nyack. Catherine is heavily involved with a local civic association trying very hard to reverse the town’s fortunes. Once again, it has proved to be a long and arduous venture but we remain hopeful that our labors will eventually yield the same positive results.
As for South Nyack: after renting the house at 61 for a few years, we just recently sold it. The new owners seem to be a really nice, young couple. They plan to marry this Spring and build their lives in the little house on White Ave. It continues. And I smile.
Note: During the course of writing this, I discovered that my friend and neighbor, Andrew Sipp, had been killed in a motorcycle accident. I was devastated. He was a great friend and wonderful neighbor. He leaves behind Maureen and a daughter he loved dearly. I can’t drive by the old neighborhood without shedding a tear for our beloved Andrew. Life goes on.
Photo: F. LoBuono Caption: The Tappan Zee Bridge at Night
Blog Entry 1
10/22/10
Welcome to my new blog Talk Frank. Please forgive the rather obvious and trite name but all the others I had in mind were already taken. It was a last dish effort at making it at least somewhat clever. And, hopefully, it is an accurate description of what I hope to accomplish with it. It will be an open and honest forum, certainly on my part, to the exchange of ideas that drive our very existence. Without the communication of ideas, there is no society. With no society, there is no human race.
So, off the soapbox – for now! I’ll also be sharing other musings like poetry, fiction, commentary, photography, and a host of other shit that, for my money, make the world go ‘round. It won’t be for the faint hearted, that’s for sure. It will be a no-holds barred attempt at truly provocative, honest, open discourse. So, if you can’t take the heat get, the fuck out of the kitchen. All other intrepid travelers are welcome to sojourn with me.
F
photo: F. LoBuono