Today's MOZEN: The Winter Blues

F LoBuono

Everyone keeps telling me to take it in stride. Be Zen about it. Look for the beauty in it. Having four seasons is the best. I'm sure that all of this is true. And, I have done my best to experience all of those things. But, despite that, I really HATE WINTER - especially at this point of it.

I understand that winter is necessary. Yes, it kills off viruses, ticks and all other sorts of vile vermin. The problem is - it kills off HUMAN BEINGS, TOO! Let's face it, winter culls the herd - and, that includes humans. People will counter that the heat and humidity of the summer can be oppressive and deadly, too. That may be the case, but summer is rarely PAINFUL and I'm often in pain on brutally cold days - my fingers hurt, my toes ache, and, often my face feels numb. In the summer, if I get too hot, I can always cool off with a dunk in a pool or the ocean - or, even a simple, cold shower. In the winter, once I get chilled there seems to be no easy way to get warm again.

Winter enthusiasts will also point to the fact that the very air is cleaner and fresher. Well, that may also be true if you are in a bucolic mountain field somewhere but those people have never experienced New York City a few days after a snow or ice storm. The snow removal teams do a great job here. But, part of that job is to salt the shit out of the roads - so much so that asphalt turns white, not from the snow, but from the 5 gazillion tons of salt the crews have spread on them. That salt in turn winds up all over your car to the point that your black vehicle is now whitish-grey and it is nearly impossible to see out of you windshield. And, god forbid you should lean on the car - your black jeans will also now be a nice, new shade of ash-grey. In fact, there is so much of it in the air at this time of year that you can taste it - literally.

Getting prepared to go out for the season is another challenge. Whereas it takes all of about :30 secs. for me to get dressed for a summer day (I mean how long can it take to put on a pair of shorts and flip-flops?) while it takes me about 20 minutes to add the 14 layers of clothing that I need to survive a winter's day.

And, of course, there is the joy of driving, white-knuckled through a snow or ice storm, with your heart in your throat. Then, should you survive the ride home, there is always the hours of heavy snow shoveling left to look forward to.

I suppose the fact that I don't participate in winter sports doesn't help. But, why would I involve myself in activities that require me to be out in weather that I don't enjoy? So, I don't ski, skate, or snowmobile. If you would like to take me to a resort that involves these activities that would be fine. Just look for me in the lounge, by the fireplace, with a bourbon, waiting for summer to return.