Today's MOZEN: On Father's Day, 2024

Father's Day has always been a mixed bag for me; a true Yin Yang situation.

Allow me to explain.

First, I fathered none of my own children. So, I have no direct link to any. But, I did attempt to be a step-father once.

And, I have to acknowledge my own obvious failings as one.

That's not some kind of sad hyperbole. I said obvious with good reason: of the three boys, now men (and not so young anymore), I had under my care for the nearly 15 years I was with their mother and in the many years after, none of them are speaking to me. In fact, 2 pretty much detest me. They believe with good reason.

Of course, there are many complicated issues that led to this point, too many to detail here. I certainly was no ogre and never deliberately did anything to harm them. But the dynamics of culture, age, and personality all combined to make, at least for me, a most difficult situation. They would have their own stories.

Be that as it may, despite many efforts, it simply didn't/hasn't worked out.

So, I will receive well wishes from family and friends but none from them.

It is hurtful but it is what it is.

Now, lastly, and most importantly, the Yin to the Yang (or is it vice versa?) that I mentioned above:

I had the most fantastic father!

Our family was certainly no Ozzie and Harriet American dream but both my parents, despite whatever was happening in their own lives, prioritized out safety and well-being.

Especially my father!

I am shocked to hear of the behavior of other friends' fathers - because mine was SO loving! There wasn't a single day of our lives together that he didn't let me know how much he loved me (us) and how I (we) was the most important thing in his life - ALWAYS and FOREVER. In fact, the bond was so strong that I think it actually made my mother jealous at times.

And, he taught me so much about life.

So, with that in mind and to honor his life and legacy, I would like to share two of those axioms that I use almost everyday of my life.

1. There is no substitute for experience: I believe he learned this from his days as a combat engineer in WWII. When I asked him how he dealt with the paralyzing fear that must come with battle, he always replied, "trust in your training and experience. Once you've been exposed to something, you'll know what to do - and do it". So, live your life to the fullest.

2. When gambling, never bring more money than you can afford to lose - even if you lose ALL of it: this was, of course, a metaphor. He was never a big gambler and neither am I. It did not fit his working-class mentality. However, he did like to have fun, and as I mentioned above, liked to experience life to the fullest. So, he encouraged me to reach but to always understand the consequences of ALL actions.

He's been gone for a long time now. In fact, at this point, I've lived more of my life without him than with. But I feel his presence - and his everlasting love for us, today and EVERYDAY.

You inspire me - always.