Christmas Message 2010

12/9/10

On Mortality

Death. The very word can send shivers up one’s spine. It certainly does mine. And there within lies my dilemma. How does one deal with his mortality? For certainly we all must die. “Death and taxes”, and “no one gets out of here alive” are just two of many phrases emphasizing the inevitable finality of it all. And because death comes to us all, it is the great equalizer. Great and small, rich and poor, all will have only two indisputably common moments in our lives: birth and death.

So why then give it more than a moments passing thought? No amount of reasoning or understanding will, when our time comes, add even one more second to our earthly existence. Yet, we think, philosophize, moralize, and spiritualize about it almost incessantly. Certainly religion itself owes its presence in our lives to our quest for answers about death and what it means in our daily lives.

For, as ironic as it may sound, death IS a part of our lives on a daily basis. One exists in, ultimately, perfect balance with the other. The Irish poet, William Butler Yates (1865-1939) captures this most eloquently in his poem, An Irish Airman Foresees His Death. The entire poem is magnificent but the final line embodies the essence of the message:

“I balanced all, brought to mind,

The years to come seemed waste of breath,

A waste of breath the years behind

In balance with this life, this death”.

It is certainly a heroic and stoic approach to mortality and one that I strive to achieve in my own life. I think that it’s important to accomplish this in terms not only of our own mortality but for that of the others around as well. I think it’s called peace of mind.

Most people achieve a certain level of this peace and comfort through religion and spirituality. Certainly, when facing the unfathomable premise of the end of our very existence with the end of our lives, believing in a system that provides everlasting life is certainly appealing. And it provides comfort, particularly during our most fearful moments. But this is about truth. It's about finding a path to a deeper level of understanding: to the very essence of what it means to be alive AND what it means to die. It means understanding that which cannot be understood. It means attaining what is unattainable. I suppose that's why it's SO DAMN HARD to find!

I envy those who achieve this understanding through their faith, whatever belief system that may be. The key word here is not system but faith. By it's very definition to have faith is to believe in something that cannot be explained solely by scientific or logical means. Now, I'm not sure that faith and understanding are necessarily mutually exclusive of one another in this case. They both lead to a sense of peace and well being that it is the ultimate goal of both. The point is to be at a place at the end of our lives where we can say "my life mattered, I am prepared to move to the next phase, whatever that may be". I envy those of faith whose "whatever" lies in a traditional afterlife and heaven, etc. They believe that having lived a good life and by the values of that belief system, they will receive the reward of an eternal life in another form (again whatever that may be, according to that belief). There are certainly variations on this theme but virtually all belief systems (i.e. religions) promise some type of immortality. This theme ranges from a literal place in heaven, to endless re-incarnation and everything in between. All are comforting in their own way and that's their point. But I have not found my path there. I certainly wish that I could. It would certainly make my life a lot easier! Despite my traditional Italian-Catholic upbringing and 9 years at Madonna Parochial School, I have not found my truth there - at least not yet. And I continue to search for it, while at the same time realizing that it may be unattainable until the very moment we are confronted by it.

I have been to a number of funerals for African-American friends. Now, they. my friends, seem to have gotten it right! The affairs that I have been to have been a mixture of sadness for the physical loss of a friend and the joy of not just believing, but knowing that this person has moved on to an even better place. And they are unshakable in this. In a sense, it's a type of knowing without having to understand. Again, that balance has been achieved. It's like life itself: a mixture of joy and sorrow. And no matter how skeptical I get, I have NEVER failed to be moved at one of these services. They ALWAYS leave me with a sense of reaffirmation and comfort. It's so strong in them it gives me the strength to continue my search to reach that same point.

Despite the frustration and highs and lows my search continues to bring, there are certain truths that have become self evident to me: living a good, righteous life is the path to any type of lasting peace. Truth to those we love and, even more importantly, to ourselves is essential. Love is the most powerful emotion. It is greater than fear or greed or anger or hate. A loving family is priceless. And savor the moments we have NOW without fear for what the future may bring. It hasn't happened and, so, is not worth a second thought. Live in the moment. Love in the moment. Although it may seem fleeting, this is what lasts. We are perpetuating an "energy that cannot be created or destroyed. It can only change form". This is immortality.

Since I'm writing this during the Holiday Season, I suppose that it's appropriate to make some mention of Christmas and what it may mean for me. I have not been a practicing Catholic (or any other label) for quite some time. However, I have always been a follower of the simplest Christ message: Love above all else. And that message is never stronger than it is during this season of new birth and, therefore, renewed hope.

We have all been stung by the pain of loss. It seems that the past year has been a difficult one for me and my family. We've lost family and good friends. And that loss seems so magnified during this season. The joy of it has certainly lost it's edge for those who are experiencing their first Holiday without a special loved one. If I may be so bold, I'd like to respectfully offer this to achieve some level of comfort: on Christmas day I intend to to what I always do: renew my commitment to love as hard as I can for as long as I can.

I wish for you and yours PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TO ALL!