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| F LoBuono |
Father's Day always leaves me with mixed feelings. I loved my own father dearly and owe much of what I am today as a man to him. One of the most important things that he taught me was that there is NOTHING more important than family. And, he demonstrated his love for me and my siblings and a daily basis. I never questioned it and I honor him today (and, everyday) by remembering that unfailing love for all of us.
But, my father is gone over 30 years now. So, although I still feel his love (it is within me forever), I also experience the emptiness of his loss. It's an angst that doesn't fade with time. In fact, in some ways, it only gets worse.
And, by some strange quirk of fate, I never sired any children. Perhaps, it was more than merely fate. We all make choices in life and, apparently, mine was to live a more solitary life. And, I make no excuses. I don't live with regret. However, with complete openness and honesty, I miss not having the joy that I saw in my father's eyes and see in those of my friends who are also fathers at the mere presence of their children. There is a bond that is both palpable and powerful. After all, they created another human being! How awesome is that?
Now, I am proud to say that I have had the opportunity to be a surrogate father to many. I have 3 stepsons that I did my best to help raise for nearly 15 years, my adopted son in Africa, and hundreds of students that I have taught and mentored during my time at Fordham University in NY. They have helped me realize that being a father is more than a matter of just biology. It is a commitment as a man to be a leader, a mentor, a friend, a confidant, and a tireless defender to those under your care. If you can fulfill that commitment, then you have earned the right to be called father.
Happy Father's Day to all the men who define the word. . .
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| Downtown Nyack, NY |
It's been a long 3+ months. COVID-19 has done it's best to knock the crap out of us. In many cases, and in many ways, it sure has. And, perhaps, the hardest part is that it ain't over yet!
To slow the spread of the virus, we have been required to avoid direct contact with others outside of intimate social circle and those who are at the highest risk, i.e. the elderly and infirm. This has caused not only isolation fatigue (after all, we ARE social animals) but great harm to our economy, particularly within the small, local business community like the one we have here in Nyack, NY. It is tragic to see so many places that simply didn't make and many more that won't.
However, keep in mind, the really important number is the number of deaths caused by the virus. It's over 100,000 and growing. And, the best way the great majority of the medical experts tell us to combat this scourge is by SOCIAL DISTANCING and WEARING A MASK when you can't.
New York, under the strong leadership of Governor Andrew Cuomo, has taken a leading role in reversing the course of the disease. And, despite being racked with cases early, we are on a steady course to recovery. Hospitalizations and fatalities are showing a good downward trend. With that happening, the Governor has moved our region into the so-called Phase II where, under strict guideline, businesses can begin to reopen. However, he and others warn that, if we don't stick to the plan, we will be right back were we started and will have lost our hard fought gains.
This past weekend (6/12 and 6/13), Nyack decided to facilitate the reopening of our local eating establishments by closing the area around the intersections of Main St. and Broadway to vehicular traffic from 3 pm until 10 pm. This allowed them to bring tables and chairs out on to the street, increasing their serving capacity (indoor dining is still not allowed).
So, being as anxious as anyone to resume an almost normal life as well as to my part to support my local businesses, I decided to stroll into town to partake in the festivities.
What I found filled me with a great sense of ambivalence.
The atmosphere was electric. Mother Nature was on her best behavior and provided spectacular late Spring weather for both days. So, there were LOTS of revelers on the street. Music was playing and people were literally dancing for joy. Restaurant tables were packed with diners with more still were waiting to be seated. The whole thing kind of reminded me of a more tame Bourbon or Beale Streets. In fact, I thought that going forward under the right circumstances (i.e. no more virus!), it might be something the town should consider doing on a regular basis.
However, I also noticed things that made me cringe!
Any sort of Social Distancing became a thing of the past. People were on top of one another. Because of logistics, I knew that would become inevitable. However, what disturbed me the most was the amount of people who were simply NOT WEARING A MASK! Every single reliable medical study has demonstrated that wearing a mask in public is the single most effective way to slow the spread of the virus. PERIOD. Yet, I saw HUNDREDS of people who had not the courtesy or respect for their fellow citizens to protect them by wearing a mask. Furthermore, it's against the law!
Another thing I found almost as disturbing was that there didn't seem to any authority figure at all even attempting to enforce the protocols. Now, I know that a big police presence might seem a little heavy-handed. However, a village official on a loud speaker could have easily been insisting that people abide by the protocols and, if they couldn't, would they please leave the gathering.
Perhaps, a booth might have been set up to distribute masks (made by The Nyack Mask Makers Organization?) for those who may have forgotten them.
Look, I was not born in Nyack but this is my home -by choice. I have lived here for over 30 years because it's the best little town in America and embodies just about everything that I stand for. So, of course, I want it not only to survive but to thrive. I'm sure that most of my readers feel the same way. But, the only way to insure that is to do the right thing - or, we will have lost everything we struggled so earnestly to gain.
FOLLOW THE PROTOCOLS - HAVE RESPECT FOR OTHERS AND WEAR A MASK IN PUBLIC - BE HEALTHY - STAY SAFE.
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| F LoBuono |
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| Thomas Jefferson |
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
This is the preamble to the Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. The Declaration is acknowledged as one of the great human documents defining the concepts of universal freedom.
There is just one problem. It SHOULD read; that all WHITE men are created equal.
You see, the man who wrote it owned over 600 slaves during his lifetime, including before, during, and after Jefferson created the document. They worked his 5000 acre estate, Monticello, and made him a VERY wealthy man. He freed 2 during his lifetime - 2. And, 7 after he died. That's 9 out of over 600. He even had at least 6 children with one of them (Sally Hemings) but NEVER GAVE HER HER FREEDOM. She was good enough to bear him children but not enough to be a free human being.
WHITE PRIVILEGE is at the very root of our culture. Almost ALL of the Southern so-called Founding Fathers owned slaves who made them VERY wealthy men. In fact, this Country was built with SLAVE LABOR - including the White House.
So, please spare me the bullshit that everyone is treated equally in this Country. It's not true - and, never really has been.
Perspective my friends, perspective.
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| F LoBuono |
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| F LoBuono |
Apparently, a lot of White Folk have at least some difficulty with the concept of White Privilege. Understandably, most of it comes from working class people. They fear that raising ALL to equality will threaten the lifestyle they believe they earned and are entitled to - after all, there are only so many slices in a pie. Some of their other reasoning is as follows:
Well, slavery may have been in this Country for 400 years but my family immigrated -"legally"- just 100 years ago, so what does slavery have to do with me?
And -
Privilege? What privilege? No one ever gave me ANYTHING. I've had to work hard to get what I've got.
Or -
Everyone has an equal opportunity to get ahead. Why should it be my fault if "they" don't advantage of them?
Although these statements may be honest and heartfelt, they are also extremely over-simplistic and myopic in their understanding of the powerful issues that drive racism. And, quite frankly, they reek of White Privilege.
Don't they get it?
For hundreds of years, the system is stacked in various ways against minority communities - so much so - that many of them STILL lack even the basic necessities that we white folk simply take for granted - things like safety, security, nutrition, housing, education, and health. Without these things, there can never be equality. They provide the foundation from which a healthy, equitable society is built.
But, I believe, that's about to change.
The alleged murder of George Floyd at the hands of a white Minnesota policeman simply galvanized a movement that, in large part, was made possible by the COVID-19 pandemic.
For the first time in a generation, because of the virus, the American Way of Life has been threatened in ways it has rarely encountered. Amenities that we (i.e. white folk) have taken for granted for years, are suddenly threatened. Our right to peacefully assemble has been attacked - literally. Our social structure has been severely challenged with our movements greatly curtailed. There have been food shortages. We've had difficulty in acquiring even basic household goods like toilet paper and cleaning products. Long lines awaited us at the supermarkets. Prize gouging has taken place. We've struggled with properly feeding and educating our children. When we couldn't find work, we feared that there might be a chance that we couldn't put a roof over our heads. We had to begin to live day by day.
Well, welcome to the world that minority communities face EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!
We have become spoiled living in our Ivory Towers, taking for granted that the Internet will always be there, our supermarket selves will always be stocked, and our children will always receive a good education and live productive lives.
However, The Days of Wine and Roses may be fading not only for White Privilege but for America in general. Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell recently painted a very gloomy picture of our future economy saying it will take years to recover from its current predicament*. Unemployment may stay staggeringly high into the near future and beyond.
So, if the thousands of demonstrations demanding equal justice (in EVERY sense) under the law hasn't gotten your attention perhaps those statistics will.
We need to change that and fate has made the time NOW.
When we finally acknowledge the flaws in our society, we can begin to build again and, this time, insure a more equitable future for ALL.
It can happen. It MUST happen. NOW.
*https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/13/powells-gloomy-outlook-has-investors-predicting-the-fed-may-make-another-big-move-soon.html
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| F LoBuono |
We are faced with moral decisions on virtually a daily basis. The big ones are obvious and, thankfully, not frequent. However, it's the little, seemingly inconsequential ones that we face almost constantly that are, by their shear volume, just as important. The choices that we make on matters we hardly notice are the spokes in the wheel that drive the force often known as Karma. And, to make it all work requires a sense of mindfulness, i.e. a sense of awareness of our place in the universe.
Here's one example.
I live in one of five apartments that make up what once a grand Victorian mansion. It's a lovely place with lots of privacy and a beautiful porch and garden. The neighborhood is just great, too. I'm fortunate to live here.
Because of the fact that I have lived here the longest (8 years) and, quite frankly, by my nature, I'm kind of the unofficial caretaker of the place. I maintain the porch and a small garden. I shovel the stairs of snow before the landlord can get the service to do the full job and help take out the garbage when he goes on vacation. It's not a burden and it gives me a strong sense of belonging here.
However, at the same time, I don't own the place. I just live here and pay rent like everyone else. So, I have to be aware as to not over-manage. And, I don't believe that I do. Still, from time to time, there is bound to be some conflict.
One of my housemates often adds some flowers to those I have placed around our porch. She's done it for the few years that she has lived here. The are always colorful violets and add to the beauty of the place. However, I've also noticed that if I don't take care of them, NO ONE else does - including her. So, I just assume the responsibility and I do it.
Well, over the last few weeks, I had a few trivial incidents with this person that left me feeling disrespected and, therefore, uncomfortable. But, in the interest of peace and harmony, I decided not to pursue the matters any further.
As has been her custom, I noticed that she recently put out a few pots of violets on the porch. They were quite full and healthy. After a few days, I also observed that, again, they had NOT been watered and the blooms needed to be deadheaded. Without some care they would surely wither. So, of course, I just couldn't help myself and did both.
Believe me, I thought about saying screw this! It's not my responsibility. AND, she did me dirt. Why should I give a shit about HER flowers?
But, I just couldn't walk by and let them die. That just didn't make sense to me. It's just not in my nature. Besides soothing my bruised feelings what would letting them wither accomplish? The flowers never did anything to me and they simply add beautiful color to my world. It's like that ancient Zen saying: holding onto anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
So, in return for a little effort, the flowers will fill my life with a little more color and joy. Do The Right Thing. Water the flowers. It's really not that hard. And, the wheel will keep turning . . .
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| F LoBuono |
The President's latest made-for-reality-show-TV stunt is nothing new! You're not surprised, are you?
From the very beginning of his campaign, through his election to the office of President, Donald Trump has represented a very particular aspect of the American psyche. And, he continues to wear it like his pompadour hair; in-your-face and phony.
What he pulled at the White House on Monday (6/1/2020) was his way of saying; do it our way or I'll beat you to death with this bible!
It's god, guns, and Country - i.e. White, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant (and, those sycophants who would like to be).
And, it seems that over 60 million Americans love it! They believe in the same things and are willing to support a regime that will do everything in its power to make that happen.
Monday was no exception.
His minions will laud him as a Law and Order President, while the rest of the sane world will recoil in horror at the blatant hypocrisy in his actions. Supporters would say he is the tough leader we need to bring order (THEIR order) to America while the rest of the rational, reasonable people would see the absurd irony of man who said he supports the right for people to peacefully protest while simultaneously ordering his troops to purge with tear gas, batons, and rubber bullets, the peaceful demonstrators who had assembled in front of him, then pose in front of church he rarely attends, brandishing a bible, a book that he OBVIOUSLY never reads,without uttering a single word of comfort, leadership, or reconciliation!
But, after all, he was only doing what he's best at - staging an event that only appeals to the weak-minded and easily impressed. It was as phony as his corny TV show that, by the way, I never watched.
I have NEVER bought his line of shit - and NEVER will. I just hope that he doesn't do more irreparable damage before we vote his (and his cronies) ass out in November. This ain't no Reality TV Show!!
And, if you do continue to support his hateful, vengeful rhetoric, you're as phony and cheap as his is . . .
