LESSONS MY FATHER TAUGHT ME: Part I - Anticipation

 

Many years ago, a dear friend whom I was driving with said to me: "even though you're an aggressive driver (understatement), I always feel safe with you because you have a great sense of anticipation. You seem to instinctively know when danger lies ahead."

And, that's true.

One of the lessons my father gave to me was the responsibility that comes with driving a vehicle. Before dropping the keys in my hands for my very first driving lesson, he said: "ALWAYS remember driving a car is not a right, it is a privilege. AND, it is also a weapon. Treat it with the utmost respect." I think that I immediately understood what he meant; a vehicle is virtually essential in today's society. However, it is also thousands of pounds of steel and glass, hurling through time and space at great speeds. As evidenced by the appalling statistics, automobile accidents leave thousands dead and many more injured every single year.

As with so many lessons my father imparted upon me, they often go beyond their direct meaning and into a deeper realm. So, it was this one.

I see the way that I drive as a metaphor as to how I live my life, too. 

I DO drive aggressively - I have places to go and people to see. And, I do not suffer fools. However, I believe that I never do so to the point where I am endangering myself or others. Part of that formula is to be constantly scanning the road ahead for potential danger while, at the same time, concentrating at the task in hand, i.e. the direct operation of the vehicle.

So it can be said of my approach to life. I have a keen sense of awareness as to exactly where I am at any given second. I AM living for the moment. However, at the same time, I do my best to at least be aware of what might lie ahead so that when and IF something does happen I can respond accordingly. This, I'm sure has helped me avoid catastrophic crashes not only in my vehicle but in my life as well.

Again, as in all things, striking a balance is key. We don't want to obsess about something that has NOT actually occurred. It is important that we DO live for each moment as if it were the ONLY moment. However, at the same time, having an awareness of EVERYTHING going on around us, including things that under any given circumstance might happen, can lead us to a fuller and safer way to exist.

Once again, it seems the Middle Path, i.e. balance, is the key.

Today's MOZEN: Immigrants - Making America Great

 

Honduran migrants 2018 - John Moore / Getty

One of the greatest challenges currently facing the new Biden Administration is the virtually overwhelming influx of migrants at our southern border.

President Biden's decision to reverse the draconian policy of the former Administration, including the deliberate separation of children from their families at the border, has created an exponential increase in the amount of people migrating to the U.S., particularly from Central America.

The United States has always had a complex relationship with immigration. On one hand, we pride ourselves as being a nation of immigrants while on the other we have made it as difficult as possible for them, first to get onto our shores and then assimilate. That has been true in the past and even more so now.

The journey that this new wave of people make is incredibly dangerous, taking weeks or even months, walking through all kinds of conditions, often without food, water, or proper medical care. Some come as individuals, others as families. Many juveniles travel completely alone.

There is only one word needed to explain why this is happening:

HOPE

They are willing to risk everything for even just a chance of a new, better life in America.

In a recent news piece produced by the BBC* on the dilemma at the border, a young man from Honduras was interviewed about his efforts to reach America. He appeared educated, clean, and well bred. He explained that he was leaving his home country because gangs had extorted his family right out of their small business and threatened his life. He set out weeks before on this perilous journey saying that he'd rather die on the road seeking a chance for a new life in America than dying with nothing in Honduras.

Honduran migrants 2018/Jorge Cabrera - Reuters

Some would ask, why should we accept him? Why wouldn't he stay in his home country and fight to right what is wrong there? Well, to them I would answer that since it was often American foreign policy supporting rouge governments in Central America that gave rise to these gangs that terrorize their own people, we owe these people at least a chance at a better life here. In addition, the American ethos has always been summarized by the Statue of Liberty and the Lazarus poem at its base, i.e. Give us your tired, your poor, etc.

These are either words to live by or they are just so much bull shit. I would prefer to believe that they belong to the former, especially when it comes to young men like the one in the BBC video. It was obvious, at least to me, that, given an opportunity, he would return that kindness ten fold. In other words, he would become the type of person who truly makes AMERICA GREAT.

Certainly, we need a cogent Immigration Policy. Open borders are not the answer. There must be some semblance of order. Chaos will simply not do. However, denying access to desperate people is not the answer either. It is simply not the American Way. And, don't tell me that we don't have the means. We certainly have the budget to drop bombs where and when we deem them as needed. So, we don't lack the resources but rather the will.

The choice is clear and ours to make. Let's make the right one.

*https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-56432363?fbclid=IwAR0rLRxiVglE0uzlzTEdvn0JKzTY2-iWfzAZ9DgM7JDrZIbh4u4F_okHLU4

Today's MOZEN: You Can't Grow Without Burning

 If you are an artist in any medium you have to be prepared to accept criticism of all kinds. It comes with the territory. Some will be subtle and encouraging. However, others will be nasty and sting you quite a bit. So, if you are going to put your shit out there (like I do), you'd better be prepared to hear all of it. In fact, it's essential that you do. The key is to get beyond the hurt and find if there is any real truth within - even those that bite.

It reminds me of a line in an obscure movie called Stay Hungry* starring Jeff Bridges and Arnold Schwarzenegger in his first serious film role. Bridges plays the rebellious son of a traditional, landed Southern family. He basically rejects that family and gravitates toward a group of so-called Odd Ball bodybuilders led by Schwarzenegger. In one scene, Bridges marvels at the intensity of one of Schwarzenegger's blistering workouts and asks how and why one would do that to one's self. Arnold answers with that wonderful Austrian accent:

Because you can't grow without burning.

Of course, Schwarzenegger is talking about the muscle pump one experiences after completing a rigorous physical workout. In other words, you are tearing your body up so that it compensates for the pain by eventually making you bigger and more powerful.

Of course, this should serve as a metaphor for life in general and artists in particular.

Into every life, a little rain must fall. We can't have a healthy garden when everything is all sunshine all of the time. We need it to create a balanced garden where every vegetable gets the appropriate mixture of both sun AND rain. This is a life in balance.

This is particularly true of artists. If we always take the safe route we may reach our final destination but will we have truly created something unique and special? This certainly is the goal of every artist that I know. We have to keep pushing the envelope and breaking the rules to create something worth remembering. 

Vincent Van Gogh is one whom comes immediately to mind. He could not have achieved lasting greatness if he simply painted pretty pictures. Yes, his work is beautiful, but it is also unique. And, he suffered greatly at the hands of those who rejected his work as too different, too iconoclastic. Of course, he didn't know it at the time, but it made him immortal. Today he is lauded as a transcendent artist.

This is the pain of which I speak. It is easier to sail on known waters then it is to seek out uncharted ones. However, without someone taking on the risk of doing so, the world would still be living in ignorant isolation. The universe belongs to the bold.

Personally, I have been deeply hurt by some of the criticism of my work. And, none is more painful to me than saying; your work is just average. You don't have a large following because your stuff simply ain't that good. I think that I'd rather have someone say it sucks rather than it's average. Because if it sucks, I feel like at least I tried for something different - which is not for everyone anyway.

Sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn't.

And, artists have to be prepared to accept that.

Still, it hurts to be rejected. I am not made of stone. In fact, for as much of an asshole as some may see me, I am a very sensitive man. But, I can't let that stop me. I need to learn from it and to Stay Hungry - because you can't grow without burning. . . 

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stay_Hungry

ADVICE TO SELF

STOP WHINNING 

Today's MOZEN: Two Sides of the Same Coin

In conversation with a dear friend who's opinion I respect completely, she brought to my attention that she was shocked by the difference in my online persona compared to how she views me in person. In fact, she said Facebook Frank is kind of a Dickhead!

In a sense, she was describing my personality as being Dr. Jekyll vs. Mr. Hyde.

The Dr. Jekyll is the everyday me - kind, thoughtful, polite to a fault. And, with risking unwarranted vanity, these things ARE true. I am a good person at my core. I want justice for all. I desire for love to conquer hate - always. I protect animals at all costs, even becoming somewhat of a vegetarian. And, I do my best to visit my 97 year-old mother at least once or twice a week.

Yes, this IS me.

But, I also have a part of me that's all Mr. Hyde; ugly, aggressive, insensitive, judgmental, and intolerant. It's GET OFF MY LAWN or else! Sad, but true.

Yes, this IS me, too.

It is both sides of the same coin.

I explained to my friend, again at the risk of sounding vainglorious, that I am ALL of those things! I am never falsely honest. I am very good at some things and downright shitty at others. And, I am almost always willing to share those emotions with just about anyone who will listen - particularly on Social Media.

However, ALL is motivated by one thing - Passion.

So, the question remains:

Why choose Social Media as the home for the expression of Mr. Hyde?

Some might say that the anonymity of Social Media emboldens us in a way that shields us from certain harm and, therefore, allows us to take on roles and positions that we might not assume in person.

Now, this may certainly be true for many, but not for me. What I say on Social Media I would be glad to say to anyone's face. I am nothing if not honest - be that Dr. Jekyll OR Mr. Hyde! Besides, as I see them, Social Media, like Facebook, are designed to be forums, i.e. and exchange of ideas - ALL kinds of ideas - so much so, that it often becomes of smorgasbord of interpretations, meanings, feelings, perceptions, and intentions, from the ridiculous to the sublime.

With this in mind, many are content to share nothing but photos of their kitties. And, this is just fine. As I mentioned, I love animals. And, although I do use the medium to share ALL of my photos, including those of my cat, I also use it as an opportunity to confront the ignorance, intolerance, mendacity, bigotry and unfettered hate that we also so often encounter on Facebook and elsewhere. And, I pull no punches - that's not my way.

If you post things that celebrate the baser instincts of human emotion than you are going to meet Mr. Hyde. I know it's a paradox but in this case, it makes perfect sense: I have no tolerance for intolerance. If that's your M.O., I will fight you on it today, tomorrow, and the day after that. I will never give up the fight for what's right, as I have been given the vision and good sense to know it.

Now, sometimes, this can reflect poorly on me as some will see ME as the bully. And, unfortunately, it's something that pains me - because I abhor bullies. So, I'm working on bringing in a little more of Dr. Jekyll into my Facebook posts. My intention is never to be cruel, but, rather, to be totally honest, without reservation. However, I also realize that being cruel to someone who knows only cruelty is like giving a match to an arsonist.

It's also not fair or accurate, in my humble opinion, to list ALL of my posts as aggressive or insensitive. Because they are not. I often use self-deprecating humor and sarcasm to make a point. Unfortunately, this is sometimes misinterpreted as somehow offensive. Again, this comes with the territory.

You simply cannot please all of the people all of the time - but, you can please some of them some of the time.

Now, since this IS a social media post - GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN.

That is all . . .