Today's MOZEN: Life's Greatest Question

In my nearly 70 years on this planet (well, mostly, nod, nod, wink, wink) I've been a searcher and intrepid traveler in the quest for THE most important questions and, hopefully, answers about life itself.

Now, I believe that I can safely say that I certainly don't have many - if any - answers. But I do believe I may have finally found The Greatest, most significant question of our lives:

What should we eat tonight?

Yup. that's it.

What should we eat tonight?

Think about it.

I'm willing to venture that, for virtually ALL  of us, the ONLY question we ask ourselves, our partners, friends and family on a DAILY BASIS is:

What should we eat tonight?

Go ahead, read Plato, Socrates, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and ALL the rest and I'll still bet you a $ that they only question they asked themselves on a daily basis was:

What should we eat tonight?

I rest my case. Prove me wrong.

That is all. Carry On.

Today's MOSTLY TRUE SHORT STORY: The Day I Met Willie Mays

It's one of those experiences that despite the passage of so much time, still remains so clear in your mind.

It must have been the Summer of 1968 or 9 and I was about 12 or 13. We lived in Fort Lee, NJ so the legendary Palisades Amusement Park was a big part of our lives, as it was to virtually everyone who grew up there. In another year or two, I would actually work a Summer there - making cotton candy for $1/hr. Yep. A buck an hour (a story for another post).

Anyway, my father was a Bergen County Sheriff's Deputy and like so many other law enforcement officers of the day (and today) worked extra jobs doing security work. In this case, my father was working at the Park at a place known as the Casino. It was a covered outdoor bar/restaurant with tables, a stage, and an area for dancing. It was near the famous World's Largest Outdoor Salt Water Pool so the dress code was always casual. One of my strongest recollections of the place was that it always smelled like booze, cheap booze. But it also featured performances from some top acts like Smokey Robinson, whom I had seen at least once or twice while my father worked.

Well, one day my father took me with him for one of his security gigs at the place because the one and only Willie Mays was making an appearance to sign autographs. Now, being a life-long, diehard Yankee fan, I thought that Mickey Mantle was the greatest baseball player of that time. However, I readily acknowledged Mays' greatness and was certainly not going to miss an opportunity to meet the legend.

As I recall it was a hot, mid-Summer day, bright and clear when we arrived at Palisades and entered the Casino. I don't remember Willie's arrival but I do remember seeing him surrounded by a big crowd. He was large, but not in a bulky way. He was wearing a polo shirt that exposed his sinewy arms. Mays was smiling broadly, enjoying the crowd. To me, with the sun shining on his ebony skin, I felt like he was glowing. 

Then, I saw something; the sleeves of his polo shirt must have been slightly shorter than his uniform shirt - because I noticed that he had a very distinct tan line. Now, please remember, I'm a young kid growing up in mostly lily-white Fort Lee and my exposure to black folk on very regular basis was limited.

So, I was shocked to see this!

In my youthful naivety I couldn't imagine how this could happen. After all, he was already black. Right?

With my father busy doing his job of crowd control, I tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. I needed an answer to my question: how could that possible be?

When he finally acknowledged me, I explained my dilemma. He calmly answered that, "of course black people can get tan. Some can even get sunburnt, just like you and me."

His response astounded me on a number of levels and I could get into all the esoterica surrounding my feelings to his response. However, instead I'll just say that, to this day, the lesson it so quickly and simply imparted on me was this: in life we are the more same than we are different.

Anyway, I was too intimated by the whole scene to actually ask Willie for his autograph or to have a photo made with him. But I'll always remember the time that I met the Great Willie Mays and the effect it had on me in ways he'll never know. 

Today's MOZEN: On Father's Day, 2024

Father's Day has always been a mixed bag for me; a true Yin Yang situation.

Allow me to explain.

First, I fathered none of my own children. So, I have no direct link to any. But, I did attempt to be a step-father once.

And, I have to acknowledge my own obvious failings as one.

That's not some kind of sad hyperbole. I said obvious with good reason: of the three boys, now men (and not so young anymore), I had under my care for the nearly 15 years I was with their mother and in the many years after, none of them are speaking to me. In fact, 2 pretty much detest me. They believe with good reason.

Of course, there are many complicated issues that led to this point, too many to detail here. I certainly was no ogre and never deliberately did anything to harm them. But the dynamics of culture, age, and personality all combined to make, at least for me, a most difficult situation. They would have their own stories.

Be that as it may, despite many efforts, it simply didn't/hasn't worked out.

So, I will receive well wishes from family and friends but none from them.

It is hurtful but it is what it is.

Now, lastly, and most importantly, the Yin to the Yang (or is it vice versa?) that I mentioned above:

I had the most fantastic father!

Our family was certainly no Ozzie and Harriet American dream but both my parents, despite whatever was happening in their own lives, prioritized out safety and well-being.

Especially my father!

I am shocked to hear of the behavior of other friends' fathers - because mine was SO loving! There wasn't a single day of our lives together that he didn't let me know how much he loved me (us) and how I (we) was the most important thing in his life - ALWAYS and FOREVER. In fact, the bond was so strong that I think it actually made my mother jealous at times.

And, he taught me so much about life.

So, with that in mind and to honor his life and legacy, I would like to share two of those axioms that I use almost everyday of my life.

1. There is no substitute for experience: I believe he learned this from his days as a combat engineer in WWII. When I asked him how he dealt with the paralyzing fear that must come with battle, he always replied, "trust in your training and experience. Once you've been exposed to something, you'll know what to do - and do it". So, live your life to the fullest.

2. When gambling, never bring more money than you can afford to lose - even if you lose ALL of it: this was, of course, a metaphor. He was never a big gambler and neither am I. It did not fit his working-class mentality. However, he did like to have fun, and as I mentioned above, liked to experience life to the fullest. So, he encouraged me to reach but to always understand the consequences of ALL actions.

He's been gone for a long time now. In fact, at this point, I've lived more of my life without him than with. But I feel his presence - and his everlasting love for us, today and EVERYDAY.

You inspire me - always.