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| Words and photo by F LoBuono |
I think that ending a relationship is a lot like a forest fire. At first, it's devastating. Fire rages, ravaging everything in its path. The carnage is everywhere. Trees that took, perhaps, centuries to reach maturity now lie wasted. What was once lush and green is now gray, smoldering, and decimated. Growth that may have taken eons to create has been destroyed in a matter of mere moments. Everything is lost! But after some time, the scene takes on a new perspective. You realize that even though lush, the forest was actually clogged with over-growth. The forest was not really healthy. In fact, it was suffocating. The fire that swept through it was NECESSARY to clean away the detritus that affected the overall well-being of the forest. Yes, the painful part is that it did take healthy trees. But, at the same time, it did the important job of clearing away the crap that had built up for so many years. It provided the forest with air and light for a new beginning and a brighter, healthier future. Soon, new, lush growth will be seen regenerating throughout the forest. It will take time to reach its former glory. Only time truly heals. But, the forest will return, more verdant than ever.
Our relationships are no different. Sometimes, it takes a seemingly destructive event like separation to bring us to the realization that, often, eradication of the old is necessary to begin the process of a new, deeper, greater understanding of ourselves and our relationships. The fire that sweeps through us when we end a relationship burns. It is painful. Destruction always is. However, like the forest, the only way to clear a path to new growth is removal of the old. In the beginning, our emotional lives my seem as smoldering and barren as that fire-ravaged forest. But, after the grace of time, new growth rises from the ashes. And it's thicker, healthier, and more lush than what it replaced. Our new roots, forged in fire, are sturdier, and, therefore, more capable of supporting greater overall growth. Miraculously, because of this
trial by fire, we are stronger and, therefore, not afraid. The
Phoenix will rise!
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However - relationships unlike forest fires may smolder for a longtime. Each person believes themselves to be kind and understanding - the ultimate test comes to ending a longstanding relationship with truthfulness and compassion for the other person. It's not working for us - lets end this and move on. Neither person wants to stay with someone they're not comfortable with nor love any longer, really.
ReplyDeleteIt is most necessary to learn the lesson from the relationship...that ended and why so as not to repeat the cycle if unhealthy and unsupportive of both people. It is indeed a good thing to clear out debris that clogs the path before us. Fire does not course with intention though...like people. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own happiness. And how we share that happiness with others is crucial to communication and the delight we take in their company. .
ReplyDeleteWell said, ladies!!
ReplyDelete