Today's MOZEN. Father's Day 2014

Words and photo by F LoBuono

It may be strange to some, but I have a lot of ambivalence concerning Father's Day. I love it because I loved my own father so. He was a kind, loving, man who believed in education, reading, and sports. He also enjoyed babies and dancing. And he loved his family and children more than anything else. He was happy to show it too - all of the time. When I was a young man and had moved out of my parent's home, he would call me almost every single night and say the same thing: Frankie, want to come over? The Yankees are on and your mother is cooking. You could do your laundry if you want. My father, more than any other person, also taught me the great lesson of being a Renaissance Man. He believed that in whatever you did, you'd better do it to the best of your ability. I love thinking about him and those times.

However, I also hate it because I miss him. For a romantic at heart (I got that from him, too), I'm not very nostalgic. I read and enjoy the messages posted from others bringing their departed dads' memories to life. But, that's not me. I keep him much closer to my heart and hold it privately. I can't even find any photos of the two of us together. It's strange for someone as full of shit as I am to be that way. But I am. The day can also get me down because it reminds of my own failure as a stepfather. And, unfortunately, I failed miserably. My stepsons and I don't even speak anymore - for too many reasons to address here and now. Let it suffice to say I failed and leave it at that.

So, here I am, sitting in the sun, trying to relax after working the graveyard shift last night and I'm just feeling mighty low: no one loves me! It's an exquisite day and it just doesn't seem to matter. Well, all of a sudden, a male cardinal appears out of no where and flies straight towards me before veering off to a nearby tree. It was only one bird and although plentiful around these parts, I haven't seen one in a while. It was then that I remembered something I read on Facebook: Cardinals are really the souls of someone dear who has departed. They return to remind us that they still love and watch over us.

Well, how about that? Guess who came by for a visit and to share some light. As Chief Dan George says in his brilliant portrayal of a Native American shaman in the epic western adventure, "Little Big Man": sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn't. Today it worked.

Happy Father's Day, dad and all dads. Today is YOUR day. Enjoy it.