Today's MOZEN: Just Thinking

Photo F LoBuono

Thief #1:"You're afraid again.

Thief #2: No - just thinking.

Thief #1: "Same thing."

  - from the French film, Beauty and the Beast, 1946.

Today's MOZEN: Stirring The Pot

When I make my world famous (well, in my mind anyway) tomato sauce, I only use the freshest ingredients. Most of them, including the fresh tomatoes in season, I also grow in my own garden. Besides the tomatoes, I add olive oil, garlic (lots of garlic), oregano, thyme, basil, sage, parsley. rosemary, a little sugar and a touch of red wine.

Once I get them in the pot, I begin to cook it under a very low flame. The key is to let the ingredients meld together, each adding their unique flavors over the course of time. It also helps to eliminate extra water so that the sauce thickens enough for me to have a spoon stand alone in it. This can take several hours.

However, even though you can let it simmer for long periods of time, it is also important to stir the pot frequently. This prevents the sauce from burning at the bottom of the pot AND by blending the ingredients you insure that the flavor of each is adequately mixed and combined to create the true, unique flavor of the sauce.

Of course, STIRRING THE POT can also be used as a metaphor to describe what I try to accomplish with my writing and Social Media posts.

I often write things of a controversial nature. Some might even see them as outrageous. However, I do so not merely for shock value. That might be the initial impression, but there is much more beneath the surface.

First, I believe in total honesty. I feel that it's the only way to communicate. Sometimes, this may make others uncomfortable but rarely me. I'm sure that I've lost friends over it. But, I've probably made a few from it, too.

Second, thoughts and opinions are like ingredients of the mind; there are many different kinds and every one has its own flavor. Taken individually, each has a unique characteristic. However, when combined, the sauce takes on a totally new personality.

Just like my sauce, the only way to achieve this new mixture is to stir the pot - regularly.

So, that's what I do.

When I cook my sauce, the results have been far more appetizing than not. It may taste a little like others but in truth it is uniquely my own.

The same can be said of my writing.

I toss a lot of ingredients into the post hoping to achieve a final result of a concoction of opinions, each unique when tasted separately, but when blended, form a mixture that's most palatable.

Now, as strange as it seems to me, not everyone likes tomato sauce. I have a friend who loves tomatoes but hates their conversion to sauce. And, so it is with ideas - some will be glad to taste my Word Sauce while others will simply spit it out. Well, so be it - no food is universally liked. I get it. But, like any other chef, I will continue to cook by stirring the pot - because that's what I do.

BUON APPETITO!

Today's MOZEN: What Honor?

 

F LoBuono

Human beings live by a certain code of conduct. Without that code, cooperation would collapse and human society could not exist. In fact, most higher life forms could not. Even wild animals follow a certain pattern of behavior that allows for the individual to survive within a group setting. If every member of your tribe/pack/herd, etc. is only saying ME, ME, ME, there is no collaboration and that species is doomed to extinction.

No Man Is An Island.

Because of our social nature, that code of conduct is so key to our survival that we have given it a variety of labels: ETHICS - MORALS - SCRUPELS - PRINCIPALS - INTEGRITY to name a few.

The very evolution of man is directly connected to observing the behaviors associated with these concepts. So, it is essential that we hold people to them - especially our LEADERS. Without their guiding principals we would remain primitive savages where only the strong survive.

One of the most important tenets of these principals is HONOR.

Honor is partially defined by Webster as:

Noun -

1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's action

Now, with that in mind, please apply that concept to the latest round of boorish behavior by our LAME DUCK President, Donald J. Trump.

How can ANYONE still possibly see ANY honor in the President's latest actions, i.e. The Pathetic Pardon Parade of what I like to call The Villains, Thieves, and Scoundrels Union?

These pardoned men are themselves without honor - thieves like Charles Kushner and Paul Manafort. Liars like John Flynn. And, murderers like The Blackwater bunch.

This President still seems a man who would be more than King but even Emperor. He is only interested in consolidating his own power - at all costs. And, if that means the loss of honor, so be it. Mr. Trump NEVER had any to lose in the first place!

This was true today, yesterday, and from the beginning of his public career.

The Marines live by this credo: DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR.

Its meaning is plane. They exist within a code of honor that is more powerful than even their fear of death.

We can never expect Mr. Trump to live by this code. It is simply not within him. He has no sense of shame. Therefore, he can have no sense of honor.

But, what we can do resign him to the irrelevance he so fears but still so richly deserves.

Today's MOZEN: ANGER

 ANGER

It's as powerful as any emotion a human being can experience. It can be every bit as compelling as compassion. In fact, for many if not most, it is even more so because it seems to come so quickly and easily. Anger is often our very first response to even the most minor transgressions, actual or simply perceived.

At least that's the case with me.

And, it seems I'm awfully angry these days.

I'm angry at BIG things, like the state of the world, especially here in America. Our national ethos has been hijacked by a bilious, bellicose, bloated, bloviating, blowhard of a man and his equally degenerate minions. Donald J. Trump's reign of ineptitude, cruelty, and misanthropy is due to end in just a matter of weeks. However, I feel the damage is done. And, sadly, his vindictiveness has only accelerated in the fading light of his failed administration.

I'm outraged that over 70 million of my fellow Americans found ANYTHING worthy in voting for that egomaniacal bully. I've lost friends over it. Long time friends. And, because I AM so angry, I don't give a shit. Fuck them.

THAT'S ANGER.

And, I'm pissed at this fucking virus, too.

COVID-19 and its corresponding pandemic has affected everyone and I believe it safe to say none for the better. All have suffered at least some. And, some have suffered all - the loss of livelihoods and loved ones. I'm sick and tired of staying mostly alone, cooped up in my small, lonely little apartment because of it. I want to get back to my life. Small as it my have been before, at least it was something. If I never hear the word COVID ever again it will be too fucking soon.

But, I'm also get enraged over smaller, more personal things, too.

I'm sick and tired of my failed personal relationships. I'm angry that, in my heart, I give a lot to people and don't get all that much in return. I'm resentful that I spend hours writing my heart out to only have a handful take the time to read my shit while others churn out commercial crap to great accolades. I'm resentful of their success and tired of being jealous.

Greedy, selfish fucking people can go to hell, too.

And, just to get even more petty, I even fume with the fact that the couple who live in the apartment next to mine have a toddler which means I virtually have to make an appointment if I want to do a laundry in the COMMUNAL washroom.

And, you'd better not even think of taking my parking spot which I took hours to clean the snow from. They'll be hell to pay.

Even my cat grooming too much can send me into a rage!

It all seems so trivial and trite.

Yet, at the same time, it is so REAL.

I'm even angry that I'm SO ANGRY!

Drinking and drugging don't help (well, actually they do - a little). Even writing it out only provides limited, temporary relief. Isolation only sinks me deeper into this funk. But, at least it keeps me from inflicting my wrath upon others. That's got to be worth something.

Look, no one gives a shit for my problems. Nor should they. We all have are own little crosses to bear. And, because I'm angry, I don't give a shit if they do or they don't. And, there within lies the ol' Catch 22 - in other words, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Anger becomes a self-perpetuating emotion. The more we feel it, the more angry we become until it overwhelms all other emotions and it devours us.

And, I don't want to be consumed by my own anger. Anger only leads to hatred. I believe in love, light, and compassion. Transcendence to enlightenment is the only true path.

Now, if I could only find a fucking way to get there. . . 

Today's MOZEN: An Eye for an Eye

 

Brandon Bernard - courtesy of his defense team

On Thursday, December 11, 2020, at 9:27 pm in the United States Federal Penitentiary, Terre Haute, Indiana, 40 year-old Brandon Bernard was executed for being an accomplice to a brutal murder committed by another individual when Bernard was just 18.

He became the ninth person executed by the Federal Government since the Trump administration, under the guidance of US Attorney General William Barr, reinstituted the penalty this past July.

Previous to that time, the death penalty on the Federal level had not be exercised in the previous 17 years.

This fact should come as no surprise to those who support Donald J. Trump as the Law and Order President.

Still, there are a number of factors involved that makes this entire incident such a tragedy.

First and foremost, it is most important to remember the original victims of the crime, the married couple Todd and Staci Bagley. They were brutally murdered by Christopher Vialva in a car-jacking gone bad in Killeen, Texas. Ironically Vialva was also executed at Terre Haute in September. There was never any doubt that it was Mr. Vialva who shot the Bagley's execution style and stuffed them into the trunk of their car which was then set on fire. 

This is where Mr. Bernard comes in.

There is no doubt that he was an accessory to murder as there was ample evidence that he actually started the car fire. However, Bernard was not even present for the original car-jacking or shooting. During the trial a State sanctioned forensic specialist suggested that Staci Bagley was not killed by the gunshot but rather by smoke inhalation from the car fire. This was strongly disputed by another forensic expert for the defense who reviewed Ms. Bagley's autopsy report. If the fire had indeed killed her, Mr. Bernard would then be reasonably called a killer. However, there was serious doubt that this was indeed the case. So, in essence he didn't murder anyone.

Bernard was also just 18 at the time, barely of legal age to be eligible to receive the death penalty. And, he was under the influence of a gang that he turned to to escape a traumatic childhood. He did what he was told to do by other gang members. He was not in a position to challenge them.

Furthermore, as so often happens to poor, black men he could not afford a high-powered attorney for his defense. Instead, he was inadequately represented by a court-appointed lawyer with absolutely no death penalty case experience. He was subsequently convicted and sentenced to death by an almost all white jury.

Perhaps most importantly, Bernard was remorseful for his actions from the very beginning and never waned in his efforts to make his life, even in prison, be worth something to atone for the pain he inflicted on the families of the victims. Robert Owen, Mr. Bernard's lawyer for the last 20 years said this about his client and friend: 

“Brandon made one terrible mistake at age 18. But he did not kill anyone, and he never stopped feeling shame and profound remorse for his actions in the crime. And he spent the rest of his life sincerely trying to show, as he put it, that he ‘was not that person.’ Brandon showed us that and so much more, carrying himself with grace and generosity, and always treating everyone around him with kindness and respect. He worked to help other troubled kids avoid similar devastating mistakes, and he lived every day his commitment to serving both God and humanity.” 

Many, including a former prosecutor in the case as well as some of the former jurors begged the government to reconsider Mr. Bernard's fate and institute a stay of execution. However, it was not meant to be. The Supreme Court rejected his last minute appeal and President Trump refused to grant him clemency.

In keeping with his simple ways, Bernard ordered a meat-lovers pizza and a brownie as his last meal.  Although some could sense his fear, he was also described as spiritually poised. He was ready to meet his fate. His last words were to the families of those who had lost their loved ones those 21 years ago, saying:

"I'm sorry. That's the only words that I can say that can completely capture how I feel now and how I felt that day."

In written statements, the victims' families thanked President Trump. Todd Bagley's mother, Georgia, also wrote this response:

“Please remember that the lives of family and friends were shattered and we all have grieved for 21 years waiting for justice to finally be served.”

While giving the families all the respect due those whose lives have been shattered by senseless violence, I can't help but continue to grief for ALL that has been lost here. Executing Brandon Bernard was NOT justice but, rather, vengeance. What closure could this man's death really provide? He was remorseful. He was contrite. And, he did everything he could possible due to atone for his crime (which he readily admitted committing). He was just 18 at the time of the killings. How many of us are the same as we were at that age? He was a changed man whose life could have been used to better others by helping them avoid the mistakes that he made. Now, there is nothing. The victims' families don't get their loved ones back and another begins it's own grieving process.

In the end, the death penalty accomplishes nothing. It has been proven that it is NOT a deterrent to murder. It does not bring closure. It does not provide justice. Murder at anyone's hand, even the State's is still simply murder. By its very nature it is indefensible. Where is transcendence? Where is compassion? They certainly do not lie within any society that supports the death penalty.

An eye for an eye just leaves the whole world blind.

F LoBuono

Today's MOZEN: Groundhog Day

 

Like some perverse version of Bill Murray's cult classic, Groundhog Day, the Trump election fiasco goes on and on spewing endless rounds of lies, misconceptions, and outright bullshit. With its cast of clowns like Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, Sebastian Gorka, Michelle Bachmann, and a host of others, this reality show might be funny if it wasn't so fucking tragic.

The reason it's not funny is the fact that tens of millions of people are actually buying this shit show!

Groundhog Day was fiction. This is a sad reality. And, that reality is this entitled man who we elected king* can say virtually ANYTHING, even the most bizarre, nonsensical shit, and his minions would eat that shit with a silver spoon. Furthermore, like petulant children, they become violent when he/they don't get their way, even when his claims have been PROVEN to be false.

Like a spoiled, entitled child Mr. Trump screams, cries, pleads, implores, lies, steals, cheats, stamps his feet, and shakes his fists until he gets what he want. And, like poor parents whose indulgence not only enables but encourages this poor behavior, the Republican Party has showed itself to be no friend of the American People. In fact, their total capitulation to this arrogant sham of a leader, will forever doom them to a legacy of cowardice and shame.

Illustration by Kaya Mar

In the film, Bill Murray's character eventually wakes up a new man in a new day. The lesson was learned and he was better off for his experience. We can only hope that on 1/20/2021 my fellow Americans will also wake, acknowledge the error of their ways and dedicate themselves to ridding ourselves of a legacy that nearly destroyed our democracy.

Well, I can hope anyway. It may be all that we have left . . . 

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYCTlqK9m78

Today's MOZEN: Finding The Path

No one ever said that the Road to Enlightenment would be easy. In fact, according to the prophets, it can be so difficult that it can take many cycles of death and rebirth (i.e. reincarnation) to finally reach that destination. I know that my own path has been paved with the stones of limited, joyful success and a lot of those that bear the weight of failure. My ego gets in the way. My pride gets in the way. My arrogance gets in the way. And, so does my anger. The path of that which makes us simply human and that which makes us divine is on a slippery slope. It's all so frustrating!

Still, I remain resolute in my pursuit of Spiritual Consciousness.

However, lately, that goal seems further away than ever!

The fact that over 74 million of my fellow Americans voted for a man whom I contend embodies the worst of human vices, i.e. greed, arrogance, sloth, avarice, mendacity, and a host of other negative traits simply makes the already difficult goal of achieving that enlightenment seemingly impossible.

In response, I must take comfort in two major counter points:

1. The knowledge that over 81 million OTHER Americans stood up to a bully and empathically said, "NO THANKS".

2.  So-called Idiocracy in America has ALWAYS been there and probably always will be. Ignorance, racism, bigotry, greed, and hate have been with us since the inception of this Nation. In fact, some would say that it is so much a part of our ethos that it has become part of our DNA. The KKK has never died (and, never will). McCarthyism has never died (and, never will). And, now, we have Trumpism, a new blight on our National Character that I fear will also never die. And, yet, we as a Nation survive.

This, I suppose, is the way of the world, the Yin and Yang of the human experience. They are two sides of the same coin. On one side, where we often find not only many others but, sometimes, our selves, lies the baser angels of our nature, i.e. the place where fear and ignorance lie. On the other, is the more sublime, i.e. where the better angels, those of tolerance and compassion, reside.

I see my job as to acknowledge the existence of the former while working to live within the latter. This is NO easy task, especially when I would love to simply grab some of these people and smack some sense into them.

So, when I see others on Social Media denying facts like Mr. Trump LOST the race for the Presidency or that Covid 19 is a killer, I have to remind myself not to fall victim to the same level of idiocy of the person who posted in the first place.

And, there within lies the challenge.

So, what I try to do is stick to the facts as we know them and avoid the pejoratives and ad hominem attacks that often follow strong disagreements, especially those that occur under the protection of the relative anonymity that is Social Media.

It's not easy.

That's why the road is long and hard. It can be much more satisfying to lash out and fall victim to our baser emotions. Those are the ones that seem to come to us first - anger and then retribution. I'll admit that I often want to pummel those folks. But, those emotions, although human, are contrary to the path that we call Enlightenment.

And, that's why it is so difficult to get there.

Now, that doesn't mean that I'm just gonna' sit back and allow someone to spew the hate and vitriol that seems to be the staple of so many Trump supporters. I feel it is not only my duty, but EVERYONE'S, to deny fear and loathing whenever and wherever we encounter it. We just need to avoid being a prick when we do. . .