Today's MOZEN: The Responsibility of Freedom

It's only been a week since I retired from the TV News profession, closing arguably the largest and greatest portion of my life. At over 40 years in the making, at this point, it will certainly be the longest.

Even though it has only been a week, I am already experiencing a kind of personal Renaissance - a rebirth of a type of physical freedom that I have not experienced since I was a much younger man - with a key difference. When I was that young man, I certainly had the time but not the $ to fully explore all of my passions. I must admit though, even with the challenges, it was a helleva' ride! But, now, hopefully, I'll have just enough of both. The prospect is certainly appealing - so far.

One of the more positive aspects of all of that new-found freedom is the time to think. And, if I am so inclined, to write about it.

With that in mind (nod, nod, wink, wink), I've been thinking about what it really means and, in particular, if there is such a thing as too much freedom.

First, let's talk about the personal kind.

I'm a child of the 60's and 70's so I had a goodly amount of exposure to the bohemian/counter culture lifestyle that largely defined that era. However, even though I related to much of that way of life, I don't think I was every fully immersed in it. I was sort of hippie light; I wore my hair long, bell bottom jeans, and flower print shirts but I also played football and actually enjoyed most of school. So, I kind of had a foot in both worlds - a balance, if you will.

This, I believe, is where my concept of personal freedom and whether there can too much of it comes in.

In so many ways, I was a wild man in thought and deed. I constantly pushed the envelope, both physically and spiritually. In a sense, certainly physically, I was at the height of my powers. I was a weightlifting - football playin', shaman! So, there were few things I wouldn't do on a dare - especially if I felt it would bring any type of growth/learning experience.

However, the key word here is FEW.

Yes, I read Huxley, and Kerouac. Listened to Dylan and The Doors. I so desperately wanted to break on through to the other side. But, I did have my limits. There were certain lines I was just not willing to cross. Perhaps it was the strong ethic instilled in me by my parents to know right from wrong, as I had the good sense and moral compass to see them, and, therefore, never do anything that would compromise respect for myself and my family. It has always given me a healthy dose of responsibility to go with my elixir of intoxicating freedom. 

In societal terms, that is know as having morals and scruples (more on that shortly).

But, that, at least for me, begs the question: whos' morals and whos' scruples judge what is personally right and wrong? Who, indeed, are the progenitors of these beliefs? And, furthermore, when it comes to personal decisions, why should I listen to anyone else anyway?

Who judges the judges?

Well, I can't answer for others but personally I like to think that I am as free as I want to be. I live an open, honest life that allows me to be comfortable in my own skin. Certainly, I have made mistakes in my life - huge ones! But, they've all (most?) been made in good faith and I have always made an effort to do no harm in the end. Still, I will continue to attempt to push the envelope to open new avenues of thought and deed - to be free from the bonds created by jealousy, close-mindedness, and fear, particularly of things that I don't understand - yet.

Now, there are times when personal freedom comes in direct conflict with those associated with the societies in which we live.

As Americans, we are especially proud of the personal freedoms of which our very Constitution guarantees. However, we continually confuse these principals with others that are imposed on us by those who believe they have a moral authority to judge what is acceptable and what is not. This conflict has raged since the inception of this Country and continues to this very day. The fact that we are still fighting the battle for Civil Rights, particularly as it pertains to those in the LGBTQ community is evidence.

Well, who are these moral authorities and what/who has given them the power to judge how ANY individual should live their lives as they see fit? They ineffectively argue that individuals from those communities adversely affect the very moral fabric of our society.

Now, this is not to say there is NO line to be drawn in the sand when it comes to some type of societal moral code. A society without some sense of morality brings anarchy and chaos. This is obvious - rape, molestation, murder, etc. will NEVER be morally acceptable.

And, as with our personal freedoms we must take ultimate responsibility for our actions. What we want/need for ourselves cannot take precedence over the greater good. The current anti-vaccine movement is a prime example of what can be certainly seen as selfish behavior. Your personal freedom does not trump the safety of millions of others.

I believe the key is here is to differentiate between the freedom to express one's self in a highly personal manner (i.e. the LGBTQ community) that need not affect ANYONE else and those that do (i.e. anti-vaxers). Remember, we have a responsibility to ourselves AND others.

Balance is the key.

It's really not that hard.

The choice is ours . . .  

Today's MOZEN: Being ALIVE.

Last night, while relaxing in my apartment after my penultimate day of work for CBS News, I had the good fortune of catching the classic film, The Misfits. It is one of my favorites. And, considering it's theme and my current circumstance, I found it prophetic.

Skillfully directed by John Huston, the 1961 classic features an all star class headed by Clark Gable, Eli Wallach, Montgomery Clift, and, of course, Marilyn Monroe. All are superb with Monroe's performance producing her most critically positive reviews. For my money, it is also one of, if not THE best of Gable's storied career.

The group forms an unlikely coalition of, well, misfits, as they search, each in their own way, for meaning in their lives. The film's climatic scene in which the group tries to wrangle the few (5) remaining wild mustangs in the Nevada desert reveals both the inner strength AND weakness of each character.

Written by Arthur Miller, the dialogue contains gems throughout the entire film. Here are some of my favorites -

When Monroe can't understand why Clift's cowboy character continually puts his body at risk in meaningless rodeos, Gable explains it to her by saying: 

The who's man too afraid to die is too afraid to live.

In the final scene, Monroe is horrified by Gable's apparent cruelty in overcoming the small herd's fierce resistance to captivity. She enlists Clift's help in releasing all of the captive mustangs. Gable discovers their plot and a titanic struggle ensues when he recaptures the stallion.  She is further devastated by the vicious battle between the two. However, she soon comes to understand his motivation, his raison d'etre, when, without warning or explanation, he sets the stallion free while uttering these words:

Don't want nobody making up my mind for me.

And,

I gotta' find another way of being alive, that's all . . .

The first conveys his fierce sense of independence. He may be an old man, doing things the old way. But, they are his way and he makes no apologies for it. But, he also realizes that life IS change. To be alive is to change - when it is necessary.

The second indicates his life style. It's a simple play on words but with an important distinction. He didn't say another way of making a living. He said, another way of being alive. This is a subtle but crucial difference! He will always find a way to make a living. However, how he exists is the key.

So, as I approach my final hours of my career her at CBS, I know that I will find a way to make a living. I just need to find a new way of being alive. And, I will. . . 

Today's MOZEN: Time To Go

In just over 24 hours I will leave the CBS Broadcast Center on W57th in Manhattan for the last time. After 40+ years in the profession and 20 of those here, it's time to move on. The profession has changed. I have changed. What it once held for me no longer exists. It's time to concentrate my efforts elsewhere - even if that means simply sitting on my porch watching the world go by.

Of course, knowing with certainty for the last few weeks as to the actual date of my retirement has given me an opportunity to reflect on my career in the TV/News business. And, so I have. However, I am not an overly nostalgic person. It is what it is and it was what it was.

In fairness, the events I witnessed firsthand, particularly with CBS News, shaped me in immeasurable ways. I had the unmatched experience of having a front row seat of sorts at many of my generation's most defining moments, including: 911, a Space Shuttle launch and landing, many hurricanes and tornadoes, numerous political campaigns, the inauguration of our first black President, the election of a pope in Rome, and the marriage of prince and princess in London, among too many others to list.

However, I failed at my one most important goal; being a war correspondent/photographer. I felt the ultimate test for a journalist was to put your money where your mouth (or, pen or camera) is. Many of the journalists I admired most became so by covering human conflict. When the war in Iraq began I even volunteered to go there to cover the war. However, much to my surprise, there were so many other photojournalists with more seniority than I had in front of me that I was never chosen to go.

I also felt like I never achieved my full potential at CBS. I came in as a technician and that's the way that I will leave. I could have/would have done so much more if I only had the chance. Again, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I did have many incredible opportunities and earned a terrific living. And, it's not my way to live with regrets. Still, I feel like I left so much on the table. I just hope that through my work I made a difference in at least some peoples' lives.

But, I ain't dead yet AND I will leave on MY terms and there is always something to be said for that. I begin not only a new chapter in my life but, in many ways, a whole new book!

I even chose the 4th of July as my final day so that I could claim the firework displays were all in my honor - it suits my rather delicate ego.

Perhaps the greatest thing that I will take away from my time making television are the lasting friendships that I made with SO many people. There have been seemingly endless miles and countless smiles for me to hang my hat on - and, that ain't no trifling thing.

So, will I have a sense of ambivalence when that door closes behind me for the last time? Absolutely. I'll miss the challenge of providing a service that is essential to our liberty. It will be strange to be without the sights, sounds, and smells of a place that filled the better part of 20 years. And, of course, I will miss my comrades-in-arms and friends.  However, I won't miss the bizarre hours, the middle of the night phone calls, the horrible NYC traffic, and the poor quality that TV News now consists of.

So, I'll say it again - I AIN'T DEAD YET. And, as long as there is breath in my body, I will tell the stories that need to be told and, hopefully, continue to make a difference.