I was a recent recipient of just such an ironic twist.
21 years ago, at the age of 45, I decided to marry for the first time. Not only did I marry, but I decided that after all those years of childless bachelorhood, I choose a woman with three, healthy, wild boys aged 12-16.
I like challenges.
My friends thought that I was crazy.
They were probably right.
But, despite her three children, Catherine (who very appropriately asked to be called Cat, never Cathy) was wonderfully wild and fiercely independent. Like the proverbial moth to flame, I couldn't resist.
We burned brightly - for a while. When we were right, we could light up a room with our energy.
And, we traveled the world.
But, then, things changed and we drifted. We no longer had that creative energy that drove our wagon. We started to go our separate ways more and more until, one day, Cat simply went away - entirely.
After 12 years of marriage she decided that she needed to find another way to happiness and just split. She took a 10 week temporary lease on an apartment in the City, something she had always dreamed of doing. The boys (now men) and I were left to fend for ourselves - and we did - as best we could - until it all fell apart. it wasn't as if we were destitute but our center was gone.
I thought there was gas left in that car. I mean, who junks a car simply because it needs to be refueled or tuned-up?
But, that was just me.
Literally.
It was over.
Still, I dallied for a full ten years. 10 years!
Perhaps, in the back of my head, I always believed that somehow we would be able to come together to recapture that old magic we once had. And, I made half-hearted attempts at reconciliation - all to no avail. But, it was also simple laziness. After all, it was just over and no peace of paper was going to change that. That's between two people. So, why bother?
It takes two to tango and I found myself dancing in the dark - alone.
She was no longer interested - and never would be again.
It was time to take action. There were legal implications. Who would inherit my vast fortune, etc.? LOL
After a grueling, brutal process that was MUCH more difficult than it should have been (a post for another day), We finally completed and filed the paperwork with the Rockland County Court to begin our final chapter - divorce.
This happened on Christmas Eve, 21 years to the day to the day I first proposed - and, she said, yes.
On the drive home, in a further twist of fate, Anne Lennox' version of The Clash's, Train In Vain, played on the radio.
The irony was not lost - on me, at least.
Almost a Shakespearean Tragedy, don't you think?
Or, perhaps, a comedy instead.
There was noting to contest anyway. We have no children together. The grand house we owned is long ago sold and the bounty divided. I have no claim on any of her property and she none on mine. And, I want nothing. Nothing. I don't even have a wedding photo.
It was what it was, when it was . . .
Indeed my friends, World Keeps Turning.
No comments:
Post a Comment