In my day, I was a pretty damned good football player, mostly as a defensive specialist - good enough to be named captain of both my high school and college teams. Unfortunately, most of those teams weren't very good but that's not the point of this post.
What IS most important was that I loved playing - until I didn't.
I have to admit right off that part of my initial attraction was that it IS a violent game and I was so gentle in my soul as a boy I was afraid that if I didn't "toughen up" I would never make it in the world I was most familiar with - both my father and his brother were excellent players in their day and I wanted to make them proud. In fact, my father would go through great lengths to attend my games and often offer needed and eagerly accepted advice after a contest.
On the other hand, my mother hated everything about football; so much so that she never attended any of my games AND I had to hide ALL injuries I may have incurred (and I had a few) from her - my father instructing me, for the sake of peace and harmony, to "keep it between us".
So, in a very real sense, I had something to prove, mostly to myself, and football would be that vehicle.
I wasn't very big at all but I was quick, strong, and fearless. I followed the instructions from my coaches to make punishing tackles by "putting my face in there". I did that so many times that I stopped counting how many times that I broke or damaged my nose! Still, I persisted. That was the point - persistence against all odds.
For as many punishing hits that I delivered I received back, in at least equal measure, every blow leaving a lasting impression - even now when I close my eyes tightly, I can still envision the little flashes of light that came with EVERY blow to my head. Still, I believe that I managed to escape that violent game mostly with no long-lasting ill effects.
So, one would reasonably ask, why would someone expose themselves to such potential harm - for fun?
Well, like the game, the reasons, at least for me, are complex.
I had something very personal to prove, especially to myself. And, in it's own way, football did that for me. For every time I was knocked down, I found a way to get up. I'm sure that there are better ways to learn this but it worked for me!
And, the nature of the game itself is one that can bring awe to the observer. Allow me to explain: in my post-football career, one of my jobs was as a news cameraman. As part of my duties, I was able to shoot some professional football games from Giants Stadium. I also had the privilege of photographing multiple space shuttle launches. And, I will say this; being on the sidelines for both is an awesome experience of power and explosive energy, the only difference is that one is mechanical and the other completely natural.
However, at one point, the game held nothing for me BUT violence. Besides, I had pushed a 5'10", 190 lb. body as far as it would go. I was NOT going to be a professional football player. And, you know what, it all worked out in the end.
I suppose that George Sauer, the late, great NY Jet wide receiver who quit at the height of his career, said it best when writing for the NY Times (paraphrasing):
Football is a game of great contrasts. On one hand there is incredible skill and grace and on the other, brutal violence. When I could no longer rationalize the difference between the two, I quit.
Of course, at this time, our attention lies with Damar Hamlin of the Buffalo Bills. May he recovery fully and continue his life unabated.
BRILLIANT PIECE FRANK
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