Today's MOZEN: The Sorrow of Suicide 8/12/2014

Words and photo by F LoBuono

It's the saddest word in the English language and it's heard all too often these days: Suicide.  I feel this way because the taking of one's own life signifies a complete loss of one of the most essential of human emotions - hope. It is the nadir of a person's life. It's a point that someone simply cannot go past. Suicide is an act committed in a realm beyond utter desperation. There is no one else to turn to. There is no other place to run to. There is no other medication left to take.There is no future. There is only pain, a panicked decision, and a decent into nothingness. This is life's real tragedy. How can one lose the very will to live?

It has come into focus once again with the recent suicide of Robin Williams, a supremely talented and often troubled artist. It seems that the passing of celebrities like Williams bring issues like this to the forefront - and they should. Williams was a transcendent performer and rightly so. His manic demeanor, rapid-fire wit, and skill with words made him one of the most beloved entertainers of his time. Almost every person alive can name one of his film performances or comedy routines. So, this raises a very important question when dealing with suicide: how could someone so bright, so enormously successful, who affected so many in a positive ways, be so lost as to end his life with so much more of it left to live? Well, the answer is both complex and simple. It's complex because dealing with the mind of an artist is a two edged sword. The inner vision that allows them to see things that others may miss also brings them to areas of darkness and desolation. It really is the other side of the same coin. It's the concept of yin and yang: you can't have one without the other. This is particularly acute in geniuses like Williams. It was known that, despite his public persona of constant laughter, Williams had a dark side and suffered from severe depression. This, then, leads us to the simple answer. He was a human being just like you and I, susceptible to the same joys and fears as you and I. Celebrity cannot shield one from being human and the emotional conflict that comes with being one.

I'm sure there are people who will say things like "what a selfish thing". "He took the easy way out instead of fighting". Or, "why didn't he seek help"? Well, none of that is true. It is not selfish. It is desperate, and there's a difference. Knowing the effect it will have on others makes suicide a most difficult thing to actually execute. And that's very important because it keeps most of us who have considered suicide (and I think in fairness that at one time or another in our lives, in times of desperation, most of us have at least considered it) grounded and prevents us from acting on those urges. Lastly, of course he sought help. It simply stopped working. Ah, and there my friends, comes the desperation. All of the defense mechanisms that protect us deserted him.

I suppose that at times like this, these lines from John Donne's poem "For Whom The Bell Tolls" echo my sentiments best: ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee. I try to share in the humanity of it, if that makes sense. I FEEL for Williams. I sense his joy and his fear. And I sense his desperation - the desperate feeling that comes in the belief that only death will bring an end to suffering. Why do I feel this connection? Well, we all should because we are all human beings who suffer the same frailties. Just because Williams was famous does not make him immune. And I would feel the same way for anyone of any social level who committed suicide. They are my brothers and sisters and I feel their pain. I would tell them that, even if it didn't help, because, perhaps, it just might. Isn't doing all you can do to save a life worth doing?

Therefore, going forward today I have committed myself to being a positive force in the world and in sharing that ethos. I will reach out not only to the ones that I know and love but to all I encounter. If this can turn one head, one hand away from the shadow of death, then I will have accomplished something. And, in a sense, Robin Williams will not have died in vain.