Today's MOZEN: Acceptance and Forgiveness - Two Sides of the Same Coin

Words and photo F LoBuono

Acceptance and Forgiveness are often lumped together. Perhaps, it's because one cannot find forgiveness until they have fully accepted whatever indignity may have been inflicted upon them in the first place. And, THAT is more easily said than done.

Therefore, the road between the two is often winding and, sometimes, even tortuous. 

Normally, we must come to terms with the reality of what our fate was in any given situation before we can begin the process of healing through forgiveness. And, often, the two emotions are never fully reconciled. This is expressed when we say "I may forgive, but I will never forget."

Therefore, the way to pave the path between the two lies in Mindfulness, or the ability to understand without judgment. It is a concept that lies at the root of most Eastern religions. It is a practice in every sense of the word. Buddhists believe it is the only path to true salvation. 

Although simple in concept, it is also so very difficult to achieve fully that it may take many lifetimes to do so. This is why Buddhists believe in reincarnation - it takes many, many years of practice to get it right. However, when we do get it, we will have reached Enlightenment and the endless cycle of birth, death, and re-birth is broken.

The difficulty lies in the true letting go of one of our most primitive emotions - ANGER. It is a powerful motivator. In fact, when we are lost in the throws of anger all of us are capable of reacting with vengeance. We want whomever wronged us to suffer at least equally, if not MORE so, with the same type of pain that they caused.

However, we must LEARN to ACCEPT that whatever happened was because it was SUPPOSED to happen. This is the first step. Forgiveness cannot be achieved until we stop clinging to what we believe SHOULD have occurred and deal with the reality of what actually DID. Again, easier said than done - especially since hurt and the corresponding anger it brings is so primal to our nature.

However, to become the sublime creatures we are all capable of being, we must continue to strive to accomplish this. I, for one, have a long way to travel to achieve this. But, at least I know where I must go. It's the figuring out of HOW to get there that remains the ultimate challenge. But, failure is not an option.