YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP: Texting and Biking.

F LoBuono

One of my regular features on Social Media is You Can't Make This Shit Up. As the title suggests, I designed it to add some snarky humor in an effort to understand human behaviors that most of us would find at least unusual, if not downright bizarre.

Generally speaking, they're not too hard to find. Here's a classic example:

It was dusk as I was walking home after one of my frequent sojourns into the heart of town. It had been a warm day and was turning into a lovely evening. I had South Broadway virtually to myself with just one woman walking on the other side of the street. Someone on a bicycle, riding in the opposite direction, was approaching us. As the rider got closer I could see that he appeared to be a young man, probably in his late teens. He was riding in an upright position, peddling with his legs but without his hands on the handle bars.

That's because they were being used for texting on his cellphone!

It became painfully obvious (literally) that he was more interested in his texting than to paying attention to what might lay in front of him. That's because he failed to notice the parked car that was directly in his path!

With a resounding BOOM, he smashed into the back of the car and went heels over head off his bicycle. It was loud enough to startle both me and the woman walking across the street and to run towards him to make sure that he was all right.

We reached him about the same time, while shouting almost simultaneously, ARE YOU OK? Amazingly, we found him dazed but not seriously hurt.

He was in the process of picking himself up off his ass (also, literally) and checking to make sure that he was indeed not seriously injured. I don't remember if he thanked us but he did indicate that he was alright. He found his phone, which had been knocked out of his hands, and preceded to inspect both his bike and the car for whatever carnage his collusion may have caused. Amazingly, it seemed to be minimal. How he managed to do so little damage to himself, the car, and his bike, can only be described as miraculous! However, I'm sure that in the light of day, he was going to be one hurting cowboy.

Composing himself, phone now in his pocket, he got back on his bike and continued on his way. The woman and I looked at one another, shrugged our shoulders, giggled about the whole thing and went about our business, too.

Since that time, I've seen at least 3 others riding and texting, too. And, before you think it's just being done by juveniles, one of those was an adult.

In addition to the obvious danger posed by riding a bicycle without constantly keeping your eyes on the road ahead of you, I thought that operating one was supposed to take you away from the rigors of being constantly connected to technology! What could possibly be so important as to risk your life for a text?

But, I guess that's just me.

No, my friends, You Can't Make This Shit Up.