Today's MOZEN: In The Quiet of Morning

Words and photo by F LoBuono

In the quiet still of some mornings, before the rest of the apartments in my building come to life and with no TV, music or other unnatural sounds except for the ticking of an old clock to distract me, I have the time and inclination to reflect.

Sometimes, the mornings are ablaze with golden sunshine. At others, like this morning, the skies are grey and dreary. For most of them, just before the coming of full light, the multitude of birds serenade me with a natural symphony that man-made music can only hope to recreate.

Then, almost as suddenly as they appeared, the birds are gone, leaving me alone once again, except for the ticking of the clock and the deep thoughts in my subconscious mind surging to the surface.

I simply sit and soak it all in, letting my feelings wash over me like a hot bath after a cold walk into town.

That's when they come to me.

- all of those whom I have loved and who have loved me and gone before.

There is no pressure on my part to make them come. I simply open my mind to the possibility that they may once again appear, if only in my mind's eye.

And, if I believe, they do come.

I most often smile but I sometimes cry as well. I miss them all - my father, Paul, Cynthia, Jim. And the critters, too - Sammy, Franny, Belle Star, The Bear, Big Red. . . I am thankful to have had them (and, still DO) in my life. I love them all.

They are always brief visits. The world keeps turning. We, I, must move on. It's time to take a shower and truly begin the day. Besides, the young couple in the apartment above me is now awake. I hear their footsteps as they begin their own day, too. And, if I wait too long, they'll be no hot water left for that shower!

I suppose, in this Season of Thanks, I am grateful to have those in my life today and to those who have touched my life in so many ways and continue to do so in new, magical ones.

Today's MOZEN: The Bag of Groceries

It's been going for years - at least 6 by my observations. I first wrote about it at this time in 2015 (https://talk-frank.blogspot.com/2015/11/todays-mozen-its-matter-of-mind.html) during a difficult period in our County.

And, it's been happening ever since.

It's one of the reasons that I love this place. 

Certainly, that was the first time I happened to notice but it may have been going for longer without my knowledge: a simple paper grocery bag filled with canned goods that would be suitable to serve with a nice turkey dinner appears at the bus stop on the corner that separates the villages of Nyack and South Nyack. Obviously, the cans are available to anyone who may need them.

It's funny, because just a week ago or so I passed the spot and wondered if the grocery bag would be back.

Well, sure enough, at the same corner bus stop, there was the bag stuffed with cans of cranberry sauce, corn, and vegetables.

At The Bus Stop, Broadway and Cedar Hill

To this day, I have no idea who does this. I've never witnessed anyone deposit it there. Perhaps they do so in the dead of night as to remain anonymous.

A truly selfless act of kindness.

Whomever they may be, they represent the true meaning of Thanksgiving. And, they are blessed.

Today's MOZEN: Lessons From A Fern

It certainly isn't the most beautiful specimen of Boston fern.

But, a few years ago, it was.

That same plant was thriving - lush and deep green. I found a great spot for it and treated it with TLC, even misting it with cool water every day.

Then, early one Spring day, I decided to move it, at least temporarily, to a spot where it could get a little more sun.

I should have left well enough alone. . . 

I forget it in that spot and it turned out to be a much hotter day than had been expected. Since, ferns like indirect sunlight, it burned - badly - and, began dropping leaves almost immediately.

No matter how hard I tried to reverse the process, the defoliation continued until there were a only a few, pathetic little sprigs remaining.

It seemed hopeless and friends suggested that I simply get rid of it and get myself a brand new, full, healthy one.

But, that's not my way.

Perhaps, at least among my close friends, I have a well-earned reputation for hanging on to things way past their so-called expiration dates. These may include items of clothing that are down to their last threads (pun intended) to partially broken tools, and, yes, barely alive plants. My friends kindly call me frugal - not cheap, but frugal. This may be accurate but it doesn't tell the full story.

Now, before you get the wrong impression, I am NOT a hoarder! My apartment, although full of the mementoes of my life, may be a little cluttered but it is also clean and orderly - sort of like my brain!

But, we are experiencing an environmental crisis that borders on catastrophe. And, perhaps the largest culprit in that crisis is WASTE. 

We have become a disposal society where planned obsolescence is not even noticed; use something for a while, then simply throw it away where it magically disappears.

Well, where do you think it all goes?

Sneakers are a great example.

They are often made with sturdy materials that make them last - a good thing BUT also a bad one. It's good because you need them to be durable when you wear them, but bad when you need to dispose of them - because they will take so long in the landfill to decay.

So, the key is to make sure that we get every last measure of use out of everything we consume - everything.

Now, back to the fern.

Since it was clinging to life, I made it a mission to see if I could restore it to good health. It had nothing to do with $ - they're $20! It was a matter of giving it a chance to not only survive, but thrive once again - to simply not waste.

I found a good place on my porch for it this past summer - not too hot and with some filtered sunlight. I misted it and watered it regularly. And, it never moved from that spot.

Slowly but surely, I began to notice another green shoot rise from the brown remains of the former plant - then another - then another - until most of the dead, brown shoots were being replaced by small, fresh, green ones.

But, I had to remove it from its berth on the porch for the winter. So, I located a spot with similar logistics in my bedroom and placed it there. So far, so good. The plant has responded with even more new shoots! If it continues at this pace it will only be a few more months before that plant is just about as good as new.

Of course, this is also a metaphor.

Don't be so anxious to throw things away. Use them in their totality. It honors them and you. Of course, I apply this most to human beings. No person is obsolete. They may be damaged and a mere vestige of what they once were. But, they still have value. And, with a little kindness and compassion can once again experience a full bloom.

A Healthy Boston Fern

Today's MOZEN: The GREAT Experiment

So much has already been said. And, so much more will be. Besides, what more is there TO say? Whatever might have been cannot undo what has already be done. There is NO Double Indemnity here.

However, if I may add some brief comments:

My heart aches with rage and frustration today, mostly for the families of those lost to Mr. Rittenhouse's callous disregard for human life. But, I also fear for what my Country seems to be becoming - more and more each day; filled with anger, rage, and discord.

However, I will not - cannot - lose faith in the great experiment that is American Democracy. We have survived outrage before. And, unfortunately, we will again. There have been MANY failures (despite those who will not acknowledge them). But, this IS the experiment. If we do not lose hope in achieving a greater good we WILL survive. In fact, if we learn from this, we can only get better. Still, if we keep making the same mistakes over and over, then we are doomed to fail.

I will not watch the news of Mr. Rittenhouse's so-called triumph and the praise that will be heaped upon him by many. I will not even watch those bold enough to protest against the decision.

I'm moving on with an eye to learn from this and do whatever I can to insure that it cannot happen again.

I urge everyone to, once again, remember this:

“I do not pretend to understand the moral universe. The arc is a long one. My eye reaches but little ways. I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by experience of sight. I can divine it by conscience. And from what I see I am sure it bends toward justice.”

                                                               Theodore Parker

Today's MOZEN: Beyond A Reasonable Doubt

A few years back I had the honor and privilege to serve as a juror for a local, criminal case. And, I do mean those 2 words: honor and privilege - because that's what my service eventually came to mean to me.

In the beginning, like most of us who have received one, I recoiled in horror when I saw the notification in the day's mail. I would have to report to the Nyack Village Hall (where I live) for jury duty. Whether I would actually have to actually serve on a jury was not yet decided. But, I knew that I would at least have to go through the process!

I was working full-time, so the prospect of having to donate my time for virtually no monetary compensation was not particularly appealing. After all, who was going to pay my rent?

Perhaps, there would be something in how I looked or what I may say during the selection process that would eliminate me from the jury pool while at the same time satisfying my obligation.

So, I reported to the Village Justice Court at the designation time and after checking in with the Court Clerk took a seat with about 15 others on the impossibly hard wooden benches that lined the courtroom.

On by one, we were called by the clerk to answer questions for the competing lawyers, some general like residence and livelihood, others more pointed, like attitudes towards race and the police.

Like the others (I trust!), I answered the questions earnestly and honestly, while at the same time continually hoping that there would be something in one of my answers to disqualify me.

Only 8 people would be ultimately chosen: 6 sitting jurors and 2 alternates.

And, guess who was one of the lucky ones: yours truly.

Fortunately, the trial would begin that very afternoon, and with luck, would be completed in a single day. The case involved a black man who had be arrested for disorderly conduct. The defendant, as well as the arresting officer (a white man), were to be the main and, if I remember correctly), only witnesses.

First, the presiding judge addressed us on what we might expect and how we were to interpret and then execute the law. This, according to the judge, was the single most important legal tenet to follow. We were not to decide the case on ANYTHING but the evidence. We were NOT to be swayed by any other emotion, i.e. whom we may or may not have liked - whether we ultimately support the police, etc. We were to rule exclusively on the evidence presented. Furthermore, the burden of proof lay completely with the State, i.e. the prosecution. The defense need not prove anything. The defendant was innocent until proven guilty, BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT.

PROVEN, BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT.

This theme was reinforced repeatedly by the trial judge. So, we took it to heart.

The prosecutor was a relatively young woman. The defense was headed by an equally youthful barrister. Both, fitting their positions, were well dressed and made an excellent appearance.

The prosecution presented its case first, arguing that the defendant willfully caused a public disturbance on the streets of Nyack and was arrested to prevent further such conduct.

The defense countered that the defendant and arresting officer had a contentious, near violent encounter in the past which created bad feelings between the two. The defense claimed that the arresting officer used that past experience as a catalyst to escalate the encounter in question to a point of confrontation and that the subsequence arrest was based on that prejudice.

As each jurist argued their case, it became more obvious that the defense's case was simply stronger. When the arresting officer testified, it became apparent, at least to me, that he exacerbated the encounter because of his prejudicial opinion of the defendant. On the other hand, the defendant was not without blemish. He, also, escalated the situation by acting with blatant disrespect for the policeman.

However, again in my opinion, that disrespect, even if personally repugnant, was not enough reason for that man to be arrested. Even ugly speech is protected by the 1st Amendment. The policeman should have been trained to deflect that type of behavior and not react to it with such aggression.

After the two sides rested their cases, the judge, as he had done regularly during the trial, admonished the jury that the BURDEN OF PROOF lies with the State. The defendant MUST be found guilty, BEYOND REASONABLE DOUBT based solely on the evidence. If this is not the case, the defendant must be found NOT GUILTY of all charges.

The terminology used here is very clear and worthy of mention. The term applied is Not Guilty instead of Innocent. And, I believe that this has been done deliberately. The difference may be subtle but in this case most important. One may be seen as a legal matter, the other a moral one. In other words, the defendant may be legally free of the charges while at the same time carrying a moral guilt.

The eight of us then went to deliberate.

After a relatively brief discussion, it became apparent that we were in unanimous agreement: The defendant night not have been blameless but the State had not proved its case that his behavior was criminal. Therefore, he was found NOT GUILTY.

We notified the bailiff that we had reached our decision. He then brought us back into the courtroom where he notified all concerned parties. The judge rendered the decision - NOT GUILTY. He thanked us for our service to the spirit of justice and our community. He released the defendant and everyone went on their way with what seemed to me as no further malice.

The feeling that I had done something right, important, and just, came over me immediately. I had participated in something that the entire world strives for: an open, honest trial where justice prevailed due to the efforts of our fellow citizens, i.e. a jury of our peers, steered by a strong legal and moral code.

Now, most who know me understand that I am not a blind patriot. There are some things that this Country does very well and some, not so much. It was nice to be a part of an America that, when executed properly, is sublime, i.e. EQUAL JUSTICE UNDER THE LAW.

It was also reassuring that our justice system, despite its great power and reach, is still slanted toward protecting the individual - again, as long as it is applied equally. PROVING quilt, beyond a reasonable doubt, is one of the most important tools in protecting ALL of us against and omnipotent State.

However, this ethos is not without its pitfalls.

Often, in its efforts to protect the innocent, the system can also release those at least morally guilty.

The trial in Kenosha, Wisconsin of Kyle Rittenhouse, accused of murdered 2 people and seriously wounding another during a night of racial unrest in that city, is a classic example.

Some things are not in question: Mr. Rittenhouse, who is from Illinois, was driven across state lines to Kenosha, armed with an AR-15 long rifle by his mother so that he could act as a sort of justice- loving vigilante. During his time there, he shot 3 people and killed 2 (who where unarmed).

What IS being debated is whether or not Mr. Rittenhouse acted in self defense.

Now, MOST rational people would argue that the fact that he went to such great lengths to be there with a high powered rifle is evidence of his intention to cause harm and should be enough for a conviction. However, ACCORDING TO THE LAW, that is not enough. Remember, The State must PROVE its case BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT that he acted solely with malice when he shot those men.

What the defense has done, at least in my mind, is create doubt in the minds of the jurors. According to Wisconsin LAW, a citizen, ANY citizen, while there, has a right to use any means necessary to protect himself if he feels his life is in danger. As seen in the videotapes of the event, the shooting victims appear to be attacking Rittenhouse in some way. We can say, "of course they were attacking him. He was rampaging with a weapon and shooting people. They were trying to stop him". However, we cannot KNOW with CERTAINTY what was in the shooter's head. Despite his original intentions, he had been knocked down and was being approached by others with apparently bad intent. Even a skateboard, which one of the victims was seemingly trying to use as a sort of bludgeon against Mr. Rittenhouse, can cause physical harm. Perhaps, at that moment,  he was in fear for his life and acted accordingly, i.e. shooting. This may seem disproportionate but it is debatable. 

Therefore, DOUBT has been created - the type of doubt that, under the law, can result in acquittal.

Yes, it sucks.

But, it IS the law and must be respected.

Otherwise, we are no better than Kyle Rittenhouse and his misguided supporters who see him as some sort of Law and Order cult hero instead of the little, lost boy turned murderer that he truly is.

And, remember:

“I do not pretend to understand the moral universe. The arc is a long one. My eye reaches but little ways. I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by experience of sight. I can divine it by conscience. And from what I see I am sure it bends toward justice.”

                                                               Theodore Parker

Today's MOSTLY TRUE SHORT: The Old Willow Tree

She stands a silent sentinel, worn and scarred but still proud. Just like the decaying, abandoned mansion that she guards, both are mere vestiges of what they must have once been, many years ago. I am their next door neighbor.

I have given this ancient Weeping Willow tree a female persona because she reminds me of a woman - an old woman. Her bark is worn and craggy, much like the skin of an old matron who spent most of her life laughing and smiling, perhaps too much. Her thick trunk (at least what's left of it after weathering a lifetime of storms) is topped by hair represented by drooping boughs of thinning limbs.

Like the once glorious home that sits behind her, she has been battered by the countless seasons she has witnessed. Missing a major branch or two, one can only imagine the history still contained in her silent embrace.

Sometimes I wonder how much longer can she last. I question how much longer EACH can last. Someone does just enough maintenance on the old mansion to keep it from collapsing. But, after every major storm we encounter, another piece of the willow seems to be on the ground instead of the tree. Most recently, another huge limb was sheared off by the intense winds of the latest Nor'easter.

So, after I shook the cobwebs from my head from being awakened the other day by the sound of chainsaws coming from the direction of the willow, the thought that it may finally be the end of my old friend coursed through my brain. It brought on a feeling of real sadness - after all, she my have been a bit broken but she was not BEATEN.

The heavy sawing continued for some time before it stopped suddenly. For all that time, I could not bring myself to go to the window to witness the demise of my friend. It was something I simply did not need to witness. I figured that when I walked into town I would survey what was left of her and pay my respects.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I cleared the trees obstructing my view of the area to see that the Willow was still standing! All the workmen had done was clean up the large broken limps that had fallen after the last storm. The old gal had made it - again. I couldn't help but smile, because:

Where there is life, there is hope.