Tuesday, October 18, 2016


F LoBuono
The following is a real phone conversation between me, my mother, and my aunt.

ME: Hey, Stella. How's it going (I always call my mother by her first name)?

STELLA: Hiya, Frank. How are you?

ME: I'm doin' great. How 'bout you?

STELLA: I'm doin' pretty good. About the same. Are you coming down?

ME: Yes. I was planning on driving over around lunch time.

STELLA: Oh, that would be great. But, Aunt Anna Maria and I need you stop before you come over.

ME: OK. Stop? Where?

STELLA: Well, we need some fruit.

ME: Fruit?

STELLA: Yes. We're all out of fruit.

ME: OK. What kind of fruit?

STELLA (talking to her sister): Anna Marie, what type of fruit do you want?

ANNA MARIE (in the background): Get some apples. Red delicious.

STELLA: Get 3 red delicious. Wait. Better make it 4.

ME: OK. What else?

STELLA: What else, Anna Marie?

ANNA MARIE: Tell him to get some pears. Bosch pears. 3 or 4.

ME: I heard her.

ANNA MARIE: And, some plums. The dark, black ones. And, a bunch of bananas. We both like bananas. So does the dog. Tell him to get a bunch of bananas, too.

ME: I heard her. Anything else?

STELLA (yelling to her sister): Anything else?

ANNA MARIE: No, I don't think so. That should do it.

STELLA: No, Frankie. That should do it.

ME: OK. I'll stop at the Korean grocer in town and get you your fruit.

STELLA: Thanks, Frankie. Don't forget.

ME: Don't worry, Stella. I won't.

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