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| Stella LoBuono |
It was all planned - some of it even in advance. Now, any who may know me, personal planning is not my forte. In fact, I refuse to use that declaration in its entirety, preferring to refer to the process as The "P word". Now, it's not because I'm lazy - from from it. But, planning, often down to fractions of seconds, plays such a huge part of my professional life, I prefer to leave it there.
Stella, my mother, was turning 94 on Saturday. Traditionally, my family has never made big deals out of anyone's birthday. Certainly, there were exchanges of love and affection, often with a nice dinner thrown in. But, creating a fuss was just not our thing. However, when you're over 90, EVERY birthday is a BIG deal.
And, I wanted Stella to know that.
So, in an effort to make that happen, I went in to Producer Mode: I posted on my Facebook page a photo that I made of her at the Ol' 76 House in Tappan a while back that is one of our favorites - it's pure Stella - she looks right at me with the Celesti-Vitanza stare that her mother had - Yes, I AM here!
Well, she gets HUNDREDS of responses. I mean, it's overwhelming. I am incredibly grateful - and, a bit jealous, too. I pray that my posts would get such acknowledgement LOL! It really is a testament to her life, well-lived. I wanted her to see that.
Now, and here's the very rare advanced planning part: a few weeks ago there was a sale at one of my favorite "ladies stores" in town; Maria Louisa. With my older sister in tow, we found a beautiful, brightly colored, print scarf - in purple - her birthstone and favorite color. Because of the sale, it was a solid value, too. I asked my sister, who lives with (and, TG, cares for) my mother, to keep it for me so that we could give it to her on her actual birthday.
I was working in the late afternoon of her birthday. But, there was sufficient time to stop by for a visit on the way in. The "P word" was put into action. I packed up my small, personal computer to show her the birthday post, signed a card, and got on my way. I'd get the scarf from my sister when I got there.
When I arrived at my sisters, I found Stella on her favorite chair watching her favorite TV show: HSN (a story for another day). She greeted me warmly and I returned her affection adding "How's the birthday girl! I also asked to turn off the TV.
After chatting a bit, I told her of the Facebook post and the incredible response she got. After scolding me for "being too public", she warmed up to the idea of connecting with so many friends. As I was setting up the computer to show her, I asked my sister to bring the scarf in.
Well, that was the PLAN!
For some reason, I couldn't get my Wi-fi to work to allow me to connect the internet. It so strange because in the few times I had used it in the past, there was no issue. No problem, I'll figure it out, I thought. In the meantime, my sister would find the present.
Did I say, that was the PLAN??
I had forgotten that my sister had switched her internet plan and that would prevent me from connecting to the internet and showing her the post! Then, after 10 or 15 minutes, my sister declared, "Well, I put it away so securely that I can't find it"! My sister was also in the middle of a business presentation on her computer rendering it useless as I backup.
So, in another words, I had a whole-lotta-nuthin'!
Strangely, for a moment, I felt a real flash of disappointment and even anger. After all, I wanted to make the day special for Stella. But, it only lasted a moment. It disappeared as soon as I refocused on what was most important: we were together, in the moment, and there was love. Nothing else mattered - when my sister was finished with her report she would share the post with her. And, as for the scarf - that'd show up at some point, too. I mean, it's SOMEWHERE in the house. Hopefully, it will be found at another appropriate time.
Hey, SHIT HAPPENS, I laughed to myself. All is well.
I stayed another hour or so and then had to leave to make it for work on time. I kissed Stella warmly, wished my sister goodbye and made my way to the car.
And, I felt good . . .
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