THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!

Words and photo F LoBuono

It is the black specter that haunts the recesses of our very being. It lurks deep, dark, and icy cold within the subconscious. In one way or another, it has affected virtually all of us. Can anyone truly say that, at the most difficult and desperate times in their lives, they have not at least considered it?  If they say they have not, I believe they're lying.

But, SUICIDE is not just a bad dream. It is far too real for far too many. And, it seems to be getting worse. The CDC reports that suicide rates are up 30% since 1999. *

The recent deaths by suicide of 2 very successful, highly visible celebrities, designer Kate Spade and TV host and chef, Anthony Bourdain, have focused our attention on this disturbing trend.

Outwardly, both appeared more than capable of handling the stress of their high-profile lives. Spade was known for her generous and easy-going personality while Bourdain played his "bad boy" image to maximum effect. Each person really crafted their own empires from nothing. So, with all that fame - all that success - all that adulation - all that money - the question remains, how could this have happened?

Well, this reinforces the idea that NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. Wealth and success are NOT guarantees of happiness! Family, friends, and an open heart and mind are. Do not isolate. Share your life with others. You are NOT alone.

This morning, when I heard the news of Mr. Bourdain's passing I was not only depressed, I have to admit that I was a bit frightened, too. If someone of Bourdain's towering personality could be affected by mental illness, what are we mere mortals to do? And, like virtually everyone else, I have felt the sting of failure, loss, disappointment, rejection and loneliness. Yes, the thought has crossed my mind; to be, or not to be.

But, almost miraculously, while watching the morning news, I happened to catch a piece on CBS This Morning. It was a regular Friday component of the program called Note to Self where the subject writes a letter to their younger image. This morning's segment featured Francois Clemmens, an actor who had a recurring role on the seminal children's program, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. As a gay, young black man, Clemmons faced incredible obstacles. He was forced to live in the closet for most of his young-adult life and suffer through numerous indiginities. Of course, when things got particularly difficult, he too contemplated taking his own life. But, with support from Fred Rogers, the creator of the program, and others, Clemmons, who was known as Little Buttercup as a boy, learned to love himself and spread that love. It was in sharing that emotion that he overcame his depression and continues to live a full, rewarding and productive life. **

So, if you think that you have reached the point of no return, think again - there is ALWAYS hope. If you give love, it is love that you will receive and you shall be saved.

Francois Clemmens: One day you will go on to college and continue to sing so that you can travel all around the world and touch the lives of many people. When you give yourself, Buttercup, folks will have a taste of that sweet life, and begin to believe in themselves again. They'll know that love does exist and that there's much more that all of us can do when we choose to do it together.

Rockland Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

* https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/suicide-rates-are-30-percent-1999-cdc-says-n880926

** https://www.cbsnews.com/news/francois-clemmons-mr-rogers-neighborhood-note-to-self/