YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP: Pita Bread

F LoBuono

Since I live alone, I tend to do my grocery shopping at the local Korean market. I can walk there and get most of the staples that I need to survive. I mean, it's just me, so how much do I really need, right? It may cost me a few bucks more but it's just a few - after all, I'm not feeding an army. So, I rarely go to the large supermarkets that I have to drive to. Besides, I don't like the crowds I have always found there and there are SO many items that I can't find half the stuff that I need anyway.

Well, today was one of those rare exceptions when I HAD to go to the supermarket. I was having a few people over and I needed some items that I just wouldn't be able to find at the corner grocery. So, I hopped into the car and drove the 5 miles to The Big Store.

It was early on a weekday. At least I wouldn't have to deal with the huge weekend crowds. So, I grabbed a shopping cart and began the daunting task of actually finding the things that I needed among the vast and dizzying array of products.

One of the items I was in search of was pita bread. So, after a few minutes , I actually managed to locate the bread aisle and headed in its direction. Once there, I found a plethora of bread products. There was white bread, brown bread, wheat bread, potato bread, Italian and French bread. In fact, there was EVERY kind of bread EXCEPT pita. Overcoming my manly aversion to asking for directions or seeking advice, I queried a clerk as to where the PITA BREAD might be located. She responded quickly and politely, oh, that's in the deli section.

Now, of course, I could have debated why pita BREAD was not located in the BREAD section but what would be the point? I still wouldn't have my pita BREAD. So, I rolled my shaky shopping cart the 5 or 6 aisles to the suggested site and, sure enough, just in front of the deli counter lay the pita BREAD.

Why it was located there was never clarified. I would still like to know who makes these decisions and by what reasoning. It defies logic! But, those are questions for another day. My mission was accomplished. I had my pita BREAD.

No folks, you can't make this shit up . . .