Photo Gallery: Nyack's Fall Glory

All photos the property of F LoBuono

Today's MOZEN: From Bad To Worse

           

Words and photo by F LoBuono

What she did was wrong. What he did was worse.

This was sent to me via Facebook by a friend I call il maestro, Robert Debbaut. It was in response to the numerous comments on my posting of a few days ago called Lesson Learned. The post was my reaction to the video of a sheriff's deputy in South Carolina aggressively, if not violently, removing a black 16 year-old girl from her desk after she refused repeated commands from her teacher to put away her cell phone and/or leave the classroom. The deputy, later identified as Ben Fields, who is white, was largely condemned for his actions and eventually fired from the department. I personally found Deputy Fields' behavior abusive in the least and criminal at its worst. And, in the post, I did best to explain why I felt that way. However, despite my best efforts I could not have put it more eloquently than Mr. Debbaut.

What she did was wrong. What he did was worse.

It's SO simple. Yet, there are many who refuse to accept it. I have had a running verbal "gun battle" with many people who just refuse to see what is right before their eyes. Nothing that I have read, nor people I have spoken with, suggest that what that young woman was right. Because it wasn't. It was the reaction of the deputy that shocks. His reaction is swift, aggressive, and, yes, violent. It has been reported that the girl suffered significant injuries from the encounter. Still, there are those who will paint HER as the villain. If it weren't for her, none of this would have happened. Well, it did happen and we are left to clean up the mess.

And, the haters keep coming. One person labeled her a "hood rat" and didn't understand why that's a racist term. Others defended it. The same person sent me a video posted by self-proclaimed "Mr. Controversy" TJ Sotomayor of another student from the same South Carolina school, who was black, fighting with another deputy, who was also black. The point that he TRIES to make is that the video didn't make the national news because it was a "black on black" incident. But, I have many issues with it. First, he starts the video, on camera, saying "hello niggas". Shortly after that he condemns other blacks for using the same term! Then he goes on to berate other blacks for using racism as an excuse for bad behavior. He has an incredible capacity to reduce VERY complex social issues to the simplest of reasons. It reminds me of the old Nancy Reagan anti-drug campaign, Just Say No. Hey, that worked really well! The use of the video itself is to try and justify Deputy Fields' actions, implying that the only reason HE was disciplined was because he was white and she was black. NONSENSE. You can't possible compare a combative young man willing to put up his dukes with a young woman sitting passively at a desk until she is unceremoniously dumped from it! The police have every right to defend themselves as the officer in the Sotomayor video does. I don't hate cops! But, please tell me where Deputy Fields was in danger. What he did was simply offensive and degrading. The relationship must be build on mutual respect.

What these "naysayers" suffer from is known as Cognitive Dissonance. Simply put it's a mental condition that prevents the person from thinking beyond the box that they have created for themselves. They see things for the way they WANT them to be instead of how they ARE. They offer all sorts of explanations as to why the girl was wrong and that the deputy only did his job. Why do they thing this way? I can only surmise that, in their lives, they have always been taught to obey, to never question authority. To toe the line is to achieve success. When this girl disrupted "the system" she was swiftly and decisively punished. What this suggests is limited thinking. Those that vilified her saw her as "lesser", i.e. a poorly raised child with no morals or scruples - without really knowing ANYTHING about her. It was enough to know that she did not OBEY. THIS is cognitive dissonance: they would not behave that way, so why should we allow HER to? There is no accounting for her age or circumstance. To them, it simply does not matter. She broke the rules as they see them and, therefore, got what's coming to her.

You can find plenty of "TJ Sotomayor's in the world - shit-stirrers with an agenda that fits their vision of the world - one that lacks true reason and a sense of decency and compassion. Or, you can open your eyes and see things for the way they TRULY are. The choice is ours to make.

Today's MOZEN: Lessons Learned

F loBuono

There are many lessons that can, and should be, learned at school. Of course, most of them involve academics, i.e. reading, writing, arithmetic. But, there are others of equal importance. These lessons are of a more social nature, e.g. how we interact with others, like our teachers and peers. So,with this in mind, what lesson was learned from the recent incident in a South Carolina high school?

Here's a short synopsis: a female student was refusing to obey reasonable commands from her teacher and principal. At this point, I am not entirely sure what exactly prompted her refusal. That will be revealed in time. For whatever reason, it is not in the students best interest to ignore a teacher. This is certainly part of the lesson we learn in school - respect authority. For some reason, she refused to. It should be noted that at no time during the video of the incident did the girl become violent or unruly. Also, the NY Times reports her to be a minor (16). Because of her behavior, school officials decided to call on the aid of a so-called resource officer (i.e. someone in law enforcement assigned to the school) to remedy the situation and remove her from the classroom. In this case, the resource officer was a uniformed sheriff's deputy identified as Ben Fields. When he ordered the still unnamed student to leave her seat and accompany him out of the classroom, she again refused. At this time officer Fields FORCIBLY removed her from her desk and literally dragged her across part of the classroom before he arrested, hand-cuffed, and removed her.

So, at a great moment for teaching, what was learned?

Did that young woman learn reasonable conflict resolution through negotiation?

No.

Did she learn MORE respect for authority and the police by being humiliated in front of her peers?

I think not.

Well, what did she learn then?

Many will say, "oh, she learned all right! She'll never do that again"!

Oh, really? I beg to differ. What that young woman learned was that it's OK to resolve problems with brutality. If you challenge authority you will get SMASHED! You'd better fall in line or you will be CRUSHED! And, there are many problems with this approach. If you inflict violence on young people to teach them there are innumerable studies that show they will not be less violent, but more. Those who suffer from abuse as young people tend to abuse others as they grow. After all, it's what they've been TAUGHT. Is THIS the lesson we wish to give to our young people??

By being humiliated her in front of her peers, the young woman will harbor DEEP resentment for the police. The relationship between the police and the community is built on trust. When that trust is violated, as it was in this case, the damage done is lasting. There were so many ways that officer could have handled that situation which would have been more effective than the tactic he choose to employ. In the video, their conversation, for example, is short and "sweet". The officer suggests that the young woman and he have had some dealings in the past and that they were "cool" with one another. She responds, "I don't know you". He gives her one more command to stand and leave the classroom. She simply says "NO". That, according to the video released, was ALL that was said. There was no attempt to reason with the girl. HE is the authority figure. HE is the adult. The onus was on HIM to initiate conversation that could lead to a NON-VIOLENT resolution. Instead, he acted like a BULLY. In his mind, might made him right. I don't care if the teachers were unsuccessful. With young people, you keep trying until you reach them. She was NOT violent - all that was needed was more time and PATIENCE. Is THAT so hard? He could have even dragged the desk into the hallway, diffused the situation by isolating her, and waited for her parents to come get her.

I remember an incident when I was in high school that has stuck with me for over forty years. I greatly admired a fellow student who was considered to be one of the toughest kids in the school. He was brooding and distant. I felt like that was part of the persona of "tough guys". In many ways, I was so different. But, still, I envied his image. Despite his aloofness, I managed to become his friend. Or, at least I thought that I was. One day, during a conversation, I said something that he took exception to. I don't even remember what it was. He smacked me upside my head, causing me to temporarily lose my hearing. He said something to the effect, "don't get too familiar". To this day, I don't know what the hell he was talking about. What I do know is from that moment forward he was dead in my eyes. I said, "that SUCKED", and walked away. I never looked back. But, I never forgot the brutality of that moment - and I never will. I never spoke with him again. When I heard that he died as a young man I simply did not care. The world was better without him.

THIS is what lasts when your actions degrade people. I believe what Officer Fields did, whether it was legal or not, is exactly that - a degradation of a young person. She would not yield to HIS authority, he lost his cool, and she paid the price!

Look, I'm not defending the actions of that young woman. I do not know what precipitated them. Whatever they were, they are not justification for directly disobeying your teacher. She showed a startling lack of respect for her teacher AND fellow students by creating such a distraction. Therefore, she absolutely needed to be disciplined. It's up to her parents/guardians to help instill a sense of respect for authority in her. However, discipline is one thing, abuse is another. And, on balance, what Officer Fields did could certainly be seen as such. His move was swift and VERY aggressive. She was going with him. PERIOD. Instead of TEACHING a lesson that could have been well learned, he ACTED like a schoolyard bully!

There are many who wonder why we have become so violent. Well, when people defend actions like this they condone the use of brutality to solve non-violent issues! And, then they wonder why?

We need to look for alternatives to solving problems through the use of aggressive action. There is a time and a place for that. The classroom is not that place.

Teach your children well!!!!!!!

Today's MOZEN: Easier Than You Think

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Bang the gong, beat the drum, ring the bell, sound the alarm. I'm sending the rallying cry to all to do whatever they can to eliminate cruelty in the world. You don't have to be Gandhi, or MLK, or Mother Theresa. You just have to be yourself and do the little things to make the world a better, less cruel place. And, it's not nearly as hard as you think.

In today's media saturated society, it's easy to be overwhelmed by images of cruelty. We can thank ISIS for much of it. However, they have not cornered the market on brutality. It is all around us everyday. We see it when a bully picks on a kid at school. We encounter it on the streets when people attack the police and vice versa. Driving can be an adventure in terror with rude, crazy people seemingly everywhere. It's even inherent in the very food we eat - factory farming is not good for either the animals they take or the people that they serve. Cruelty seems pervasive enough to frustrate even the kindest and most gentle of people.

So, what can we "little folk" do about it?

Well, plenty!

First, we have to make the small, personal decisions that can make a big difference. We must be mindful that every act we do affects not only us, but the world at large. Therefore, when we are mindful, i.e. aware, we put ourselves in a position to stop, question, and THEN act. In this way, ALL of our decisions, even the smallest ones, are made with a foundation of kindness.This is the bedrock to build our castle of kindness. This castle will surround and protect us in ways greater than any constructed of thick stone could. We will become aware but also impervious to the hurt that surrounds us. We can become as a bridge over troubled waters.

And, it's so simple.

- When you arrive at work, give everyone an uplifting greeting. Make them feel that you genuinely appreciate their presence. They will feel it when you smile. And, before long, they will reciprocate. After that, the whole office will be smiling.

- If you encounter a rude driver on your way home, don't up the ante by engaging them in boorish behavior. Go one step beyond and actually smile and wave. Wish them well and then get back on your way. I promise only your pride may be hurt - and then only if you let it be so.

- Celebrate those who are different. Variety is the spice of life and we should let those who provide that spice know that we appreciate them.

- At least once a week refrain from eating meat - any kind of meat. And, do this not just because it is healthier for you to do so but because it spares the life of an animal who would have otherwise been brutally slaughtered. At some point, you might even consider (as I have) becoming a vegetarian or even vegan.

- Make an effort to contact a friend or family member that you haven't spoken to in a while and let them know that they matter to you and that you miss them.

You don't have to be a SAINT to do these things. They are simple, accessible, everyday tasks that, collectively, make a world of difference - literally. EVERYONE is capable of accomplishing these simple tasks. There is no excuse. For in the end, you are either part of the problem or part of the solution. And, it's easier than you think to be on the positive end of the ledger. You'll feel better about yourself and the world will be improved because of it.

Today's MOZEN: Whitmanize!

Photo by F LoBuono

"I am of old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise, / Regardless of others, ever regardful of others, / Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man, / Stuff'd with the stuff that is coarse and stuff'd with the stuff / That is fine, / One of the Nation of many nations, the smallest the same and the largest the same."

Walt Whitman

Pic of the Day.

When You Think About It: NO WAR

Words and photo by F LoBuono

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always evil, never good. We will not learn to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Jimmy Carter

Allow me to take this statement a little further by applying a little Vulcan philosophy (Thank you, "Star Trek" and Mr. Spock):

War is illogical. Beyond the horror of it, it just makes NO sense. It's INEFFECTIVE. It simply does not work. Within the last one hundred years we've had two WORLD WARS, which includes The War to End All Wars, and countless other global conflicts. And, for all that killing, all that saber rattling, what have we ultimately accomplished ? Do we live on a more peaceful planet? I think not. Do we have a more benevolent society? Hell no! Have we eliminated war and conflict? Absolutely NOT!

So, what is the point?

Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of hearing how awful war is and what a terrible price our young people pay. Then we go and send them into harms way - again and again and again anyway!! It's STUPID!!!!!

So, when you think about it, why do we still do it?? War is only effective in the short term. Over time, only love will conquer hate. So, do we continue to waste our best and brightest on something that serves not lasting purpose?

Some will say that WAR has always been with us and always will be - it's part of the human condition. But, I dispute that, too. WE have the power to change. WE have the power to say NO to violence. WE have the moral authority to stop it. WE have no one else to blame for war but ourselves. You can put the onus on Jesus or Mohammed or Baal but the ultimate responsibility lies within US!

Once again, we have the means. We just lack the will. . . 

Today's MOZEN: Live Like Red

Big Red near the end of his life.

Most of my readers are familiar with the story of BIG RED. He crawled through an open window in my apartment and never left. We took care of each other for twenty years - until his death almost two years ago.

The last few months of Red's life were full of challenges. He would have good days and bad. On occasion he was his usual mischievous self. But, more often then not, he struggled. He became incontinent and had trouble walking. I did everything in my power to make his last days as comfortable as possible.

Finally, we both knew it was time. Red simply had nothing left. NOTHING. He was totally spent. His race was run.

I want to go out like Big Red did - totally, completely, and utterly finished. I want to have nothing left to give and nothing left to live for. I will not go gently into that good night - until I'm good and damned ready to do so. And, I'll do it on MY terms - just like Red. I intend to leave barely a husk behind. I want to be wasted, desiccated, consumed, ravaged, ruined - because I will have given all that I had to give.

And, then die in the arms of a loved one - and hang with Big Red once again.

Guest Poem: RAIN

My dad wrote this poem when he was in Dayton, Ohio, in summer of 1944 or 1945. I wonder what he was like as a teenager, as a young man, and then shouldering responsibility for his mom after his dad passed away not long after he went into the Army.

He left us February 27, 2014, and I bet — as he used to do after dates with mom — he lit a cigar, opened a window, and put on the radio for the ride home.

I hope you had a safe trip, daddy. I love you.

Rain by Harold Rosman

How often at night when I lay in my bed
Do I hear the patter of rain overhead
Do I wish to be free
As the raindrops I see?
The musical sounds as they strike the pane
Make me wish I was young again
To run through the street with joy
As though I was a little boy.
But alas I am mortal; there’s naught I can do
But listen and thrill until all is through.
I’ll dream of the rain so fresh and so sweet
That it catches my breath, makes my heart skip a beat.

Today's MOZEN: The Truth About Winning

Photo: Lon Horwedel/Icon Sporstwire - Words: F LoBuono

The past weekend in college football provided a plethora of comebacks and fantastic finishes. However, none were more thrilling then the conclusion of the Michigan State-Michigan game. Michigan had the ball and the lead, 23-21, with just 10 seconds left in the game. It was 4th down with 3 yards to go for a first. Still in their own territory, Michigan punter, Blake O'Neill dropped back to punt. All he need do was field the snap and get off a clean kick, as he had down VERY successfully for the whole game. Barring a miraculous punt return the Michigan victory would be sealed.

The snap was not perfect but it certainly wasn't awful either. Bending slightly to his right, O'Neil, a 22 year-old Australian, inexplicably fumbled the ball! It his efforts to regain control, O'Neil only made it worse by batting the ball into the air. Reacting quickly, States Jalen Watts-Jackson snatched the ball out of midair and raced 38 yards before powering into the end zone for the winning score.

Of course, Michigan State's sideline erupted into raucous celebration while the Michigan players and fans could only stare with wide-eyed, stunned bewilderment. Natural rivals, the fact that both teams were in contention to compete for the National Championship made the victory for State that much more significant and the loss for the Wolverines that much more devastating.

The vitriol towards O'Neill started almost immediately. He was excoriated in social media. He received death threats. So-called sports pundits mocked him in their comments. But, it seems that the cruelest came from his fellow Michigan students.

WTF?

This is a young man (22) playing a GAME. Do people realize just HOW many mistakes are made during the course of a game - EVERY game? There is no such thing as a team playing a "perfect" game. It's just not possible. O'Neill's error was a particularly egregious one but it is still JUST a mistake. The sun will rise. The rains will come. And, Michigan will play again - and win again.

So, how do we get to the point that we threaten young men with death for screwing up a punt in a college football game?

It's because the win at all costs mentality is pervasive in our society. And, it always has been. Perhaps, people will recall the famous speech delivered by George C. Scott in the opening of his Academy Award winning performance as "Patton". In it he says (paraphrasing):

Americans have always loved a winner and will not tolerate a loser.

And, of course, there's legendary football coach Vince Lombardi's:

Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing!

We are obsessed with winning and the trappings that come with it. But, who defines winning and winners? What value do we place on competing versus the final outcome?

In today's age of so-called Political Correctness (PC), there has been a move away from the traditional idea of "winning" and "competing" and more towards participation. This has created a certainly level of warranted controversy. Proponents of this way of thinking believe it will lead to a more even, equitable society where everyone is given an equal chance to succeed, despite whatever shortcomings they may have. Opponents argue that eliminating competition is "unnatural" and will only create a generation of spineless whiners, instead of winners.

I believe in balance in all things. This case is no exception. With the proper balance we can achieve a society that is both fair and competitive. We can do this by encouraging young people to participate in activities despite their ultimate skill level. It is indeed natural that some people will be better at some things than others. That's OK. Mistakes will be made - they even have a name for the - ERRORS. We ALL make them. Sometimes we make them at the worst possible moments. That's OK, too. It's all in the way we teach our children about what winning and losing really ARE. Yes, there is a final score which is a measure of success. But, it is only ONE factor. There are many others - like giving maximum effort in everything we do. THIS defines winning. If we compete with a pure heart of desire to give the best that is within us, we will have WON. The final score becomes less relevant.

O'Neill is no stranger to competition. A former Australian rules football player, his coach claims that he is tough enough to handle the criticism. He has been TAUGHT that errors are part of the game. The only way to overcome them is accept them as such and commit to do better the next time. His former coach says he will be ready. THIS is a winners mentality! The real LOSERS are the ones who can't (or won't) understand it.

Today's MOZEN: Like An Old Friend.

Words and photo by F LoBuono

They are like good, old friends; you may not have seen each other for a while but, when you do, it's like you had never been apart. You pick up right where you left off the last time you were together.

Except, instead of a person, I'm talking about a place.

We all have them - those special places that we seem to return to, over and over again. It may be a coffee shop or diner. Perhaps, it's a newsstand or a bench in a park. Maybe, it's a hotel at a beach. Certainly, for most of us, we have a special restaurant or tavern that we like to call our own. Whatever, or wherever, it may be we feel at home there - like we belong.

For me, one of those spots was/is* The River Club in Nyack, NY. I call it The RC.

Arriving on the scene in Nyack at just about the same time (the early 1980's) must have been kismet. We grew up in this town at the same time, together. I was immediately drawn to the place because of it's location on the banks of the mighty Hudson River. It occupies a very old and historic spot on the river, of which you can find in more detail on The River Club's website. As a person who grew up on the river, literally (I spent my youth in another river town, Fort Lee, NJ), it was perfect. It was, and remains, the ONLY bar/restaurant in town that's actually ON the river. So, it was a natural fit from the very beginning. The vistas are nothing short of spectacular. The large windows allow for viewing of one of the most beautiful natural wonders to be found anywhere. The Dutch settlers called it The Tappan Zee an amalgam of the Native American tribe who lived here (Tappan) and the Dutch word for sea (Zee). To watch a storm race across its expanse (it is one of the widest points on the river) is to have your breath taken away. The food was never "great" and the booze was not exactly top-shelf. But, when sitting on one of their bar stools facing the river while the setting sun gleamed of the Tappen Zee Bridge, it just didn't seem to matter.

However, The River Club was/is more than just a place with a view. It had soul.

Mike Hekker owns and runs the club. His whole family was involved. He employed his brother, his daughters, his wife, his cousins and countless others from his immediate and extended family. In fact, his family has been a huge part of this village for a LONG time. His mother was mayor and his father a village justice. The Hekkers are part of the fabric of this town. And, if you hung out at The River Club you became part of it, too. Mike could be brusque from time to time, but he could also be incredibly fair and loyal. You became part of his extended family. For example, Mike mostly gave up catering private parties, but when it came to my 60th birthday celebration, The River Club accommodated. It was one of the countless good times we had there.

My apartment is just a few blocks away so, it's easy for me to walk there. I often tease people with another one of my hackneyed phrases: I walk there so I can stagger back. But, it's also true. It was/is part of my neighborhood. I always knew that I would be taken care of - like family. Pete Hekker, Mike's brother, is the head bartender. He has been there from the very beginning. And, he has taken care of me from the start - literally and figuratively. Should I forget something? No problem. Pete will take care of it. Forget to pay? No biggie. Pete will remind you the next time you are in. There is no "angst". He is one of the best barmen anywhere. He is the consummate professional - and, a gentle soul. Pete seems to be perpetually in motion but always makes time to make sure that your wants are met. Should you need an ear, his is one of the best. And, the whole staff was always great. Everyone one of them, Jacqui, Marie, Eric, and all the others never treated like you a customer but, rather, as a friend.

And, we have this wonderful routine. He knows that I almost exclusively drink Canadian Club Manhattans - straight up and very cold. When Pete sees me walk through the doors the drink is usually on the bar by the time I get there! People ask me why I "haunt" the place. Well, that's another reason. What's NOT to like?

 And, at the end of the night it's always the same routine:What do I owe ya', Pete?

The usual, Frank.

It's ALWAYS the same. He is generous with the drinks and I return the "compliment".

There was/is a slightly older crowd at The RC and that was/is just fine by its steady and loyal patrons. Because of the plethora of drinking establishments in town, Nyack has gotten a reputation as a party place. On a Friday night, thousands of young people flock into town to get some serious drinking done. It's a good thing/bad thing discussion for another day. But, the RC managed to miss most of that. Being off the beaten path it avoided most of the drink/puke/drink some more gang. And, it did so on purpose. I remember one incident that summed it up - Three or four twenty-five ish young women came and an sat near me at the bar. Pete greeted them warmly and asked:

What'll you have ladies?

One replied, oh, we'll have "Tequila Sunrise".

Pete: I don't do that.

Girl: How 'bout "Sex on the Beach"?

Pete: Nope.

Girl: "Singapore sling"? (or, some other concoction)

Pete: Look ladies, this is an old person's bar. We don't do that.

They got the message and ordered wine.

I'm not sue that "old person's" bar would be my choice of words, but it may be accurate. It is a mature crowd. And, what's wrong with that? There is always a great mix of conversation from people with diverse and accomplished backgrounds. Rarely is anyone found puking in the parking lot - a claim most other establishments in Nyack cannot make! Plus, it's racially diverse. The place LOOKS like Nyack or, at least the best of it!

The RC and it's loyal followers have been through a lot together, including the near destruction of the place by Hurricane Sandy. After a sail boat was driven into the main dinning area, Mike and his staff worked diligent to repair and resurrect the place in just a few weeks. Their triumphant return was a tangible symbol that the village as a whole would come back. While they closed for repairs, I wasn't sure that I would do with the time I normally spent there. And, it was a significant enough lose for me to have an affect. The RC IS part of the fabric of my life. There was a tangible sigh of relief when they returned.

Now, change is in the air at the River Club. After over thirty years, Mike Hekker is looking for a well deserved rest. He has decided to share the responsibility of running the established with a partner. I know this was not easy for him. He has always seen the place as an extension of himself and he ran it accordingly. But, that can take a toll. The restaurant business in almost as bad as the one I'm in - the news business. Both are 24/7/365 grinds. There really is no such thing as a weekend or day off. It can be all consuming. You may love it, but it comes with a price - always. I don't think it was a matter of sagging business. The RC always seemed to do a thriving, if not necessarily booming, business. I think that like all things, there is a right time to make a move. Mike saw this as the time.

He says it will take a few weeks to, perhaps, a few months to map out all the details and move forward. I cannot imagine it to be closed for too terribly long. It occupies just too valuable a spot. But, there is uncertainty (*hence the was/is). It will certainly be a different place. That's part of the point. However, will it remain OUR place? That is MY fear. Too often in the name of change, places loses their character and, therefore, their souls. I've seen it happen. I've seen it right here in Nyack.

In the meantime, I'll have to fill what is a significant hole in my life. Yes, the RC meant that much. But, I remain hopeful that things will work out for the best and, just like an old, lost friend, when we meet again, we will not have missed a beat.

And, THANKS, for all you've meant to me in my life. We here for you when you return.

The River Club 9/10/2019

A Meditation on Columbus Day

F LoBuono

Much like the man it commemorates, Columbus Day is full of contradictions. It is both a source of pride and a subject of ridicule. Italian-Americans see it as a time to celebrate one of their most important native sons. Native Americans view the day with scorn, claiming Columbus was nothing more than a violent usurper. Well, both groups are partially correct.

First, the Italian-Americans: Columbus WAS Italian, more than likely born in Genoa. Certainly, having one of the world's greatest explorers be born on your shores is indeed a source of pride. However, Italian-Americans should take note that Columbus NEVER sailed under an Italian flag - because there was none. There was NO Italy at the time. It was not a unified country but, rather, a series of "City-States". Columbus sailed under the SPANISH flag (the most powerful country in the world at that time). He spoke Spanish. His sons were given Spanish names. When he returned from his voyages he returned to Spain where he lived, died, and was buried. So, for all intent and purpose, Columbus was more Spanish than Italian. If you have ever wondered why most of the Western Hemisphere speaks Spanish and NOT Italian, now you know!

Next, the Native Americans: They have a legitimate beef. Columbus ravaged native populations, both accidentally (by spreading European diseases) and willfully (by slaughtering and enslaving them). This has been documented. Because of this, Native Americans are outraged what we would honor such a man. However, what must be taken into consideration is that it is difficult to judge a 15th Century man by 21st Century ethics. Although there were some enlightened men like Giordano Bruno, most powerful men, especially ambitious ones like Columbus, followed a much more brutal path.

I guess in many ways, this makes Columbus Day the perfect American Holiday - like the country it celebrates, the day has reasons to be both proud AND reflective - for where we came from and how far we still have to go. . .

Today's MOZEN: Exceptionally Average

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Recently, I asked myself, why are you not further along in your professional development? After all, you are an experienced, educated man with a high IQ. What's the problem?

Well, after giving it much thought and deliberation, I came up with a partial list of potential reasons:

1. Name. FRANK. One syllable. So simple. It's just not "fancy" enough. For example, the director, M. Night Shamalan, added the "Night" to his name to make it sound more exotic. Yeah, right. From now on I want to be know as F. Fantabulous LoBuono. Or, I could make it more ethnic, like Francesco. That is certainly more exotic that FRANK.

2. Tattoos. I am not marked in any way. I have no foreign language themes or tribal markings on my body, I have no intricate designs. I have no girlfriends' names or dearly departed relatives. No children's names. No significant dates . I make no statements - nothing but just plain, ordinary flesh. To be cool today, you gotta' have your INK. I guess I'm just too afraid of needles (or square) to get one.

3. Education. No Ivy League schools for me. I graduated from Rutgers - the State University of New Jersey - along with about a billion other kids. I received a solid, but far from spectacular, education - just a state school slub.

4. Family. My parents are first generation Sicilian. I couldn't be more proud of them. But, they were not really exceptional in most ways. My father owned a deli before he switched careers to law enforcement. My mother was a secretary in the local school system. Both were loving and prized education. But, neither would be considered "academics".It was a solid, middle class upbringing. Nothing exceptional here.

5. Athletics. I have enjoyed being an athlete for my entire life. As a kid, I played all the major sports and even excelled at some of them - to a degree. You see, I was a GOOD athlete, not a GREAT one. I was one of the better players on most of my teams but never to the point of being one of the best in the league or county. Again, simply solid but not spectacular.

6. Attributes. I hate false modesty. So, I'm not falsely modest. I know (or I think!) that I am not terrible to look at. I'm healthy, in good shape, and really don't look my age. But, George Clooney I ain't! Certainly, my looks alone aren't going to open many doors. Also, I'm not a large man. In fact, I'm incredibly average in that category, too; 5'9" and about 175 lbs. Even my shoe size (9) is average.

In the final analysis it seems that I'm pretty good at a lot of things. I'm just not exceptional in any. I guess that I'm EXCEPTIONALLY AVERAGE. And, it's always kinda' been that way. When I was in high school, I was the senior poll winner for BEST ALL AROUND. It's a good way to be, I suppose. But, I always bristled when someone would call me a jack of all trades but a master of none.

Well, I want to be the master at something.

When I found out what that is, I'll let you know! ;)

For Something Completely Different: Abstracts

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