Today's MOZEN: Lessons Learned

F loBuono

There are many lessons that can, and should be, learned at school. Of course, most of them involve academics, i.e. reading, writing, arithmetic. But, there are others of equal importance. These lessons are of a more social nature, e.g. how we interact with others, like our teachers and peers. So,with this in mind, what lesson was learned from the recent incident in a South Carolina high school?

Here's a short synopsis: a female student was refusing to obey reasonable commands from her teacher and principal. At this point, I am not entirely sure what exactly prompted her refusal. That will be revealed in time. For whatever reason, it is not in the students best interest to ignore a teacher. This is certainly part of the lesson we learn in school - respect authority. For some reason, she refused to. It should be noted that at no time during the video of the incident did the girl become violent or unruly. Also, the NY Times reports her to be a minor (16). Because of her behavior, school officials decided to call on the aid of a so-called resource officer (i.e. someone in law enforcement assigned to the school) to remedy the situation and remove her from the classroom. In this case, the resource officer was a uniformed sheriff's deputy identified as Ben Fields. When he ordered the still unnamed student to leave her seat and accompany him out of the classroom, she again refused. At this time officer Fields FORCIBLY removed her from her desk and literally dragged her across part of the classroom before he arrested, hand-cuffed, and removed her.

So, at a great moment for teaching, what was learned?

Did that young woman learn reasonable conflict resolution through negotiation?

No.

Did she learn MORE respect for authority and the police by being humiliated in front of her peers?

I think not.

Well, what did she learn then?

Many will say, "oh, she learned all right! She'll never do that again"!

Oh, really? I beg to differ. What that young woman learned was that it's OK to resolve problems with brutality. If you challenge authority you will get SMASHED! You'd better fall in line or you will be CRUSHED! And, there are many problems with this approach. If you inflict violence on young people to teach them there are innumerable studies that show they will not be less violent, but more. Those who suffer from abuse as young people tend to abuse others as they grow. After all, it's what they've been TAUGHT. Is THIS the lesson we wish to give to our young people??

By being humiliated her in front of her peers, the young woman will harbor DEEP resentment for the police. The relationship between the police and the community is built on trust. When that trust is violated, as it was in this case, the damage done is lasting. There were so many ways that officer could have handled that situation which would have been more effective than the tactic he choose to employ. In the video, their conversation, for example, is short and "sweet". The officer suggests that the young woman and he have had some dealings in the past and that they were "cool" with one another. She responds, "I don't know you". He gives her one more command to stand and leave the classroom. She simply says "NO". That, according to the video released, was ALL that was said. There was no attempt to reason with the girl. HE is the authority figure. HE is the adult. The onus was on HIM to initiate conversation that could lead to a NON-VIOLENT resolution. Instead, he acted like a BULLY. In his mind, might made him right. I don't care if the teachers were unsuccessful. With young people, you keep trying until you reach them. She was NOT violent - all that was needed was more time and PATIENCE. Is THAT so hard? He could have even dragged the desk into the hallway, diffused the situation by isolating her, and waited for her parents to come get her.

I remember an incident when I was in high school that has stuck with me for over forty years. I greatly admired a fellow student who was considered to be one of the toughest kids in the school. He was brooding and distant. I felt like that was part of the persona of "tough guys". In many ways, I was so different. But, still, I envied his image. Despite his aloofness, I managed to become his friend. Or, at least I thought that I was. One day, during a conversation, I said something that he took exception to. I don't even remember what it was. He smacked me upside my head, causing me to temporarily lose my hearing. He said something to the effect, "don't get too familiar". To this day, I don't know what the hell he was talking about. What I do know is from that moment forward he was dead in my eyes. I said, "that SUCKED", and walked away. I never looked back. But, I never forgot the brutality of that moment - and I never will. I never spoke with him again. When I heard that he died as a young man I simply did not care. The world was better without him.

THIS is what lasts when your actions degrade people. I believe what Officer Fields did, whether it was legal or not, is exactly that - a degradation of a young person. She would not yield to HIS authority, he lost his cool, and she paid the price!

Look, I'm not defending the actions of that young woman. I do not know what precipitated them. Whatever they were, they are not justification for directly disobeying your teacher. She showed a startling lack of respect for her teacher AND fellow students by creating such a distraction. Therefore, she absolutely needed to be disciplined. It's up to her parents/guardians to help instill a sense of respect for authority in her. However, discipline is one thing, abuse is another. And, on balance, what Officer Fields did could certainly be seen as such. His move was swift and VERY aggressive. She was going with him. PERIOD. Instead of TEACHING a lesson that could have been well learned, he ACTED like a schoolyard bully!

There are many who wonder why we have become so violent. Well, when people defend actions like this they condone the use of brutality to solve non-violent issues! And, then they wonder why?

We need to look for alternatives to solving problems through the use of aggressive action. There is a time and a place for that. The classroom is not that place.

Teach your children well!!!!!!!