Today's MOZEN: "The Hunting Ground"

I recently watched CNN's broadcast of the controversial Academy Award nominated documentary The Hunting Ground. Written and directed by Kirby Dick, the film uses direct interviews with alleged victims of rape and sexual assaults on various college campuses to paint an ominous picture. It seems that sexual assaults, including rape, happen at an alarming rate at some of America's most prestigious universities including Harvard, Notre Dame, The University of North Carolina and others. One of the most damning cases involved Florida State University (FSU) and the star quarterback on its National Championship team, Jamis Winston. Winston was accused by fellow student, Erica Kinsman, of rape while they were both on campus. Winston has consistently claimed that the sex was consensual. Ms. Kinsman strongly denies this and reported the incident to school authorities immediately. Despite this, the Tallahassee Police did not begin to investigate the alleged crime until nearly a year later. By that time, evidence critical to the case was lost.

As is the ultimate reality in the great majority of these cases, it comes down to a "he said - she said" situation. Unless evidence can prove otherwise, it is difficult to win a prosecution in these type of situations. FSU, as is its right and duty, handled the case internally and ruled in favor of Winston. However, one thing most experts agree on here is that the investigation was VERY poorly executed from the very beginning. Since FSU handled the majority of the investigation, it is reasonable to assume a conflict of interest exists there. Could the school be expected to be completely impartial when it's very reputation, a National Championship worth millions to the school, AND the image of its Heisman Trophy winning quarterback were at stake? I think not. And, most agree with that assumption.

From my own experience as a college athlete, I KNOW that this behavior DOES exist. I wish to state here and now that I never personally engaged in this type of activity. I was taught much better than to fall into that sewer (more later). And, I never DIRECTLY witnessed a rape or sexual assault. However, I know that they happened. And, now, many years later, I realize how wrong it all was and how wrong I was to not actively do something about it.

When I was in college, I hung with a wild crowd. I mean these guys were fearless - physically, mentally, and emotionally. They were at the top of our game and sharp as razors. No one would fuck with them. And, these guys pushed the limit with everything they did. There seemed to be nothing they wouldn't do on a dare. I remember one night when someone challenged one of my them to throw a couch out of a 3rd floor dormitory window. Guess what went out the window?! I use the second person plural because I always felt that I was more of an observer than an active participant in their antics. This allowed me to do what I do best - take it all in a try to make sense of it all. It sure made for a wild ride.

One of the things that I did observe and always felt terrible about was their far too often boorish and brutal behavior towards women. One of the groups main goals was conquest, i.e. get laid. In fact, getting laid was the Holy Grail. And, often, it meant doing anything to accomplish that goal. It was a ball to the walls party with no holds barred. They were like sharks sensing blood. And, the prey were women. If a girl got too drunk at a frat party, she was labeled a loose women, a whore, and, therefore, was fair game. In fact, they had the attitude that it was OK to abuse her - she deserved it - dirty slut! And, it didn't happen just once or twice. It happened all of the time.

Now, I never knew of ANY women who reported this as abuse, assault, or rape. At least, I was never approached by anyone looking to investigate any reported cases. Does this mean the women never reported it for whatever reason they choose not to? Is it that the University failed to act on any accusations? I do not know and never will. It is too late now.

Even though I was attracted to these wild men, I NEVER felt comfortable with their attitude towards women. I was simply not raised that way. I have written on numerous occasions that I learned respect for women from BOTH of my parents. My father regularly spoke with me about violence against women. He would say, Frankie, women will make you angry. Very angry - so much so that you will want to strike. DON'T. NEVER raise you hands to a woman. It will do her and you no good.  My mother would add: Don't forget, you have a mother and a sister. ALL women deserve respect. It was a lesson learned early and has stayed with me my entire life.

So, why did I not speak out at the time when I KNEW it was wrong? I suppose there are many reasons: I wanted to be part of the gang. I rationalized that it was just normal, male hijinks - you know, boys will be boys. It was what we were supposed to do. And, maybe the girls WERE loose - good girls don't behave like that! Of course, these are just rationalizations. But, in fairness, I was young and didn't grasp the gravity of what they (we) were doing. It all seemed so normal.

Well, we know better now. And, we must DO better. Parents, TEACH you children well. Teach your boys to respect women - always. And, teach your girls to be vigilant.  The boys must learn that NO means NO - STOP. Girls must learn to control their own destiny by avoiding the pitfalls that can come with excessive drinking and partying. Both have so much to lose.