Today's NOT TOO TRUE STORY: A Christmas Long, Long Ago

Words and photos by F LoBuono

It was a lifetime ago and yet the memory is still vivid - in a vault that my mind uses to store the precious moments in my life. I can smell her hair and feel her gentle embrace. It was Christmas eve and we were alone for the first time. She lived in the basement apartment directly below the one I shared with a crazy Irishmen named Tom O'Brien. Hard drinking, hard living, his Celtic energy provided the perfect compliment to my Latin ethos. We became brothers-in-arms. We had been living on the main floor of a 3-story home. Two young women lived up stairs when Sarah Smith moved into the basement apartment a few months later.

Sarah was just about the same age as Tom and I. We also had a lot in common, not the least of which was that we were all from northern New Jersey and had similar upbringings. What made Sarah so different from me was that she was so white. By that I mean, she was White - Anglo - Saxon and Protestant. And, she looked it; blond, fair, and freckled. She could also act the part, too. But, she also had a wild side that belied her conservative looks. I found that very appealing and, after a few weeks at the house, I found myself attracted to her.

However, there was one caveat: she was attracted to Tom and not me! It seemed to me that Sarah was more attracted to Tom because, culturally, they had more in common. I think that my "dark energy" intimidated her. Whatever the reason, I sensed the situation called for some tact (not my strongest suit but, necessary). I waited and watched. I let life unfold at its own pace (for a change).

We were all great friends and nothing came romantically between Sarah and Tom. Apparently, Tom was not interested in her, at least romantically. So, the three of us became a sort of benign, unrequited manage-a-trois! 

That all changed rather suddenly and dramatically one Christmas Eve. Tom had some family obligations and was not going to be at the apartment for a couple of days. Sarah and I were done for the time being with our commitments and were spending time alone at the house. Our apartments were connected by a door leading to a long, straight stairway. We were all so friendly that the door was virtually never locked and often open - literally. So, it was the case that night. When I found out that Sarah was home, she invited me down to spread a little Christmas cheer. A nice bottle of red whine and some delicious cheese was awaiting me. We shared the wine and some great conversation. It was all so warm and wonderful. It was a moment in time when all seemed right with the world.

After finishing off the bottle and the cheese, we proceeded to lie down on the bed together. Slightly buzzed and glowing with good feelings towards one another AND the world, we continued our conversation. Side by side, fully clothed, there was nothing overtly sexual in our behavior. Even though I was attracted to her, it was not my intention to "bed her".

Having exhausted the conversation, we found ourselves spent as well. I rolled over and hugged her tightly. It was so right at that moment that she did not resist at all. In fact, she returned my embrace. And, we stayed that way for what felt like forever. At some point, I kissed her gently. She returned my affection with kisses of her own. We continued to embrace, still fully clothed. I stroked her gently. At no time did our encounter become sexual. It was ALL feeling and tenderness.

After a long period of blissful silence, Sarah said, You are the most gentle man I have ever known.

I did not respond verbally. Instead, I kissed her again and embraced her even more closely. At that one moment in time, I don't think that I ever loved anyone more.

We eventually spent the night together - sleeping in comfort with the knowledge that we were safe in each other's arms. It was warm and wonderful.

When we woke we basked in the glow of our new-found relationship and had breakfast together. We would become lovers and almost did spend our lives together. After about a year together, we got engaged to be married. But, it was not to be. It turned out that we WERE just too different. Sarah got cold feet and called it all off. She eventually married another and, after many years, they are still together. I went on to get married, without the same degree of success as she. But, I make no excuses. I've always lived my life without them - and, still do!

But, I'll never forget that Christmas Eve all those years ago. Magic happened in a way that can only happen on just such a day. . .

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL - MAY YOU SPEND IT IN BLISS AND PEACE.