Today's MOZEN: There. I Said It!

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Man, I've been in a mood lately. Ranging from smug indignation to total resignation to righteous rage, a whole assortment of emotions have swept over me. As I enter my 60's I suppose that it's natural to question where you've been and just where you may be going. And, right now, I'm not sure that I'm crazy about either!

Partly, it's in my DNA. I'm a restless sort. I'm always looking to do more, to see more, to learn more, to BE more. I find it difficult to rest on my laurels - even if I had them to rest upon. It can be exhausting! Often, I just want so much to not give a shit. But, I can't. It's not my nature. I can't just look away. If I see something, I say something. Now, this does not make me a "busy body". I respect people's privacy and I expect the same in return. But, I always seem to wind up on the side of "'tis nobler to suffer the slings and outrageous fortune, and, by opposing, end them"!

I guess I always seem to be opposing something I see as unjust or wrong- often myself. Anyway, I never approach anything with a half-assed attitude. This ambiance is often misunderstood. I guess that it's safe to say that my passion can sometimes be seen as arrogance. It shouldn't be, but I suppose that it's fair to say that it's a little bit of both.

Still, my life's impetus is to see the glass as half full, good things are as likely to happen as bad, always look on the bright side, and yada, yada, yada . . .

I have a million other inspirational slogans and memes - all of them make sense. And, I use them. I believe them. Still, there are other times when I just need to say -

Fuck it - fuck this - fuck me, and, fuck you. Fuck everything.

There, I said it. And, it feels great. Nothing like it. Sort of like taking a good dump. You'd rather not stink up the place, but once you let it all go, it feels so damned good!! Vulgar? Sure. But, sometimes, it just feels so good to be bad.

Now, what's best about this rant is that it's not focused on any one particular person, place, or thing - except, perhaps, me! It's like holding your breath to the point of bursting and then exhaling - AHHHHH!!!!

There. I feel better already.