Today's MOSTLY TRUE STORY: Pulling a Kavanaugh

F LoBuono

When I was a young man in college - just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill State University, a.k.a Rutgers -not a fancy/smancy, elite private school like Yale - I experienced many of the same drinking hi-jinks described by newly crowned Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanuagh during his confirmation hearings. In fact, there were enough similarities in our behavior that had I not accomplished them a few years before him, I would have called those escapades PULLING A KAVANAUGH. However, going forward, I believe that we can still use that term for most loutish behavior caused by the extensive inebriation of young men.

I must make one thing perfectly clear at this point: contrary to the accusations leveled against Mr. Kavanuagh, I have never been accused of sexual misconduct, nor will I ever be.

Perhaps, my finest (or, lowest, depending on your point of view) moment while PULLING A KAVANAUGH was at the Glocka Morra Pub on Manhattan's East Side during a Saint Patrick's Day in the mid-1970's. A few of my college buddies, most of whom, incidentally, were of Irish descent, and I decided to cut our school day short and head into the City for some real celebrating!

As it was the ultimate Irish Holiday and I was in the company of so many Irishmen, we had to partake in the ultimate Irish beverage - Guinness Stout. And, ingest we did - imbibing until I was virtually blind. I can't vouch for my friends' condition because, quite frankly, I was too drunk too remember but, I'm pretty sure that we must have had a good time.

What I do CLEARLY recall was how incredibly sick I was the next day. I mean I had the mother of all hangovers! I swear it was so bad that even my hair hurt. I threw up so much that, at first, I was afraid that I would die. Then, I was afraid that I wouldn't. The slightest noise sent shock waves of agony through my brain. I also remember my father laughing at my condition while saying:

Feels good, doesn't it? Bet you'll think twice about doing that again.

He was only partially right. Despite his advice, I still continued to have Bacchanalian episodes. However, I did so without indulging in Guinness - ever again! In fact, not only do I refuse to drink it, I can't even SMELL it. To this day, I won't go near a Guinness. The pain associated with recovering from the aftermath FAR outweighed the pleasure of drinking it in the first place. I suppose that was at least SOME sign of maturation.

And, that, my friends is the essence of PULLING A KAVANAUGH. However, the difference between Brett and I is that I will not be sitting on the bench of the United States Supreme Court.