Today's MOZEN: ANGER

 ANGER

It's as powerful as any emotion a human being can experience. It can be every bit as compelling as compassion. In fact, for many if not most, it is even more so because it seems to come so quickly and easily. Anger is often our very first response to even the most minor transgressions, actual or simply perceived.

At least that's the case with me.

And, it seems I'm awfully angry these days.

I'm angry at BIG things, like the state of the world, especially here in America. Our national ethos has been hijacked by a bilious, bellicose, bloated, bloviating, blowhard of a man and his equally degenerate minions. Donald J. Trump's reign of ineptitude, cruelty, and misanthropy is due to end in just a matter of weeks. However, I feel the damage is done. And, sadly, his vindictiveness has only accelerated in the fading light of his failed administration.

I'm outraged that over 70 million of my fellow Americans found ANYTHING worthy in voting for that egomaniacal bully. I've lost friends over it. Long time friends. And, because I AM so angry, I don't give a shit. Fuck them.

THAT'S ANGER.

And, I'm pissed at this fucking virus, too.

COVID-19 and its corresponding pandemic has affected everyone and I believe it safe to say none for the better. All have suffered at least some. And, some have suffered all - the loss of livelihoods and loved ones. I'm sick and tired of staying mostly alone, cooped up in my small, lonely little apartment because of it. I want to get back to my life. Small as it my have been before, at least it was something. If I never hear the word COVID ever again it will be too fucking soon.

But, I'm also get enraged over smaller, more personal things, too.

I'm sick and tired of my failed personal relationships. I'm angry that, in my heart, I give a lot to people and don't get all that much in return. I'm resentful that I spend hours writing my heart out to only have a handful take the time to read my shit while others churn out commercial crap to great accolades. I'm resentful of their success and tired of being jealous.

Greedy, selfish fucking people can go to hell, too.

And, just to get even more petty, I even fume with the fact that the couple who live in the apartment next to mine have a toddler which means I virtually have to make an appointment if I want to do a laundry in the COMMUNAL washroom.

And, you'd better not even think of taking my parking spot which I took hours to clean the snow from. They'll be hell to pay.

Even my cat grooming too much can send me into a rage!

It all seems so trivial and trite.

Yet, at the same time, it is so REAL.

I'm even angry that I'm SO ANGRY!

Drinking and drugging don't help (well, actually they do - a little). Even writing it out only provides limited, temporary relief. Isolation only sinks me deeper into this funk. But, at least it keeps me from inflicting my wrath upon others. That's got to be worth something.

Look, no one gives a shit for my problems. Nor should they. We all have are own little crosses to bear. And, because I'm angry, I don't give a shit if they do or they don't. And, there within lies the ol' Catch 22 - in other words, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Anger becomes a self-perpetuating emotion. The more we feel it, the more angry we become until it overwhelms all other emotions and it devours us.

And, I don't want to be consumed by my own anger. Anger only leads to hatred. I believe in love, light, and compassion. Transcendence to enlightenment is the only true path.

Now, if I could only find a fucking way to get there. . . 

Today's MOZEN: An Eye for an Eye

 

Brandon Bernard - courtesy of his defense team

On Thursday, December 11, 2020, at 9:27 pm in the United States Federal Penitentiary, Terre Haute, Indiana, 40 year-old Brandon Bernard was executed for being an accomplice to a brutal murder committed by another individual when Bernard was just 18.

He became the ninth person executed by the Federal Government since the Trump administration, under the guidance of US Attorney General William Barr, reinstituted the penalty this past July.

Previous to that time, the death penalty on the Federal level had not be exercised in the previous 17 years.

This fact should come as no surprise to those who support Donald J. Trump as the Law and Order President.

Still, there are a number of factors involved that makes this entire incident such a tragedy.

First and foremost, it is most important to remember the original victims of the crime, the married couple Todd and Staci Bagley. They were brutally murdered by Christopher Vialva in a car-jacking gone bad in Killeen, Texas. Ironically Vialva was also executed at Terre Haute in September. There was never any doubt that it was Mr. Vialva who shot the Bagley's execution style and stuffed them into the trunk of their car which was then set on fire. 

This is where Mr. Bernard comes in.

There is no doubt that he was an accessory to murder as there was ample evidence that he actually started the car fire. However, Bernard was not even present for the original car-jacking or shooting. During the trial a State sanctioned forensic specialist suggested that Staci Bagley was not killed by the gunshot but rather by smoke inhalation from the car fire. This was strongly disputed by another forensic expert for the defense who reviewed Ms. Bagley's autopsy report. If the fire had indeed killed her, Mr. Bernard would then be reasonably called a killer. However, there was serious doubt that this was indeed the case. So, in essence he didn't murder anyone.

Bernard was also just 18 at the time, barely of legal age to be eligible to receive the death penalty. And, he was under the influence of a gang that he turned to to escape a traumatic childhood. He did what he was told to do by other gang members. He was not in a position to challenge them.

Furthermore, as so often happens to poor, black men he could not afford a high-powered attorney for his defense. Instead, he was inadequately represented by a court-appointed lawyer with absolutely no death penalty case experience. He was subsequently convicted and sentenced to death by an almost all white jury.

Perhaps most importantly, Bernard was remorseful for his actions from the very beginning and never waned in his efforts to make his life, even in prison, be worth something to atone for the pain he inflicted on the families of the victims. Robert Owen, Mr. Bernard's lawyer for the last 20 years said this about his client and friend: 

“Brandon made one terrible mistake at age 18. But he did not kill anyone, and he never stopped feeling shame and profound remorse for his actions in the crime. And he spent the rest of his life sincerely trying to show, as he put it, that he ‘was not that person.’ Brandon showed us that and so much more, carrying himself with grace and generosity, and always treating everyone around him with kindness and respect. He worked to help other troubled kids avoid similar devastating mistakes, and he lived every day his commitment to serving both God and humanity.” 

Many, including a former prosecutor in the case as well as some of the former jurors begged the government to reconsider Mr. Bernard's fate and institute a stay of execution. However, it was not meant to be. The Supreme Court rejected his last minute appeal and President Trump refused to grant him clemency.

In keeping with his simple ways, Bernard ordered a meat-lovers pizza and a brownie as his last meal.  Although some could sense his fear, he was also described as spiritually poised. He was ready to meet his fate. His last words were to the families of those who had lost their loved ones those 21 years ago, saying:

"I'm sorry. That's the only words that I can say that can completely capture how I feel now and how I felt that day."

In written statements, the victims' families thanked President Trump. Todd Bagley's mother, Georgia, also wrote this response:

“Please remember that the lives of family and friends were shattered and we all have grieved for 21 years waiting for justice to finally be served.”

While giving the families all the respect due those whose lives have been shattered by senseless violence, I can't help but continue to grief for ALL that has been lost here. Executing Brandon Bernard was NOT justice but, rather, vengeance. What closure could this man's death really provide? He was remorseful. He was contrite. And, he did everything he could possible due to atone for his crime (which he readily admitted committing). He was just 18 at the time of the killings. How many of us are the same as we were at that age? He was a changed man whose life could have been used to better others by helping them avoid the mistakes that he made. Now, there is nothing. The victims' families don't get their loved ones back and another begins it's own grieving process.

In the end, the death penalty accomplishes nothing. It has been proven that it is NOT a deterrent to murder. It does not bring closure. It does not provide justice. Murder at anyone's hand, even the State's is still simply murder. By its very nature it is indefensible. Where is transcendence? Where is compassion? They certainly do not lie within any society that supports the death penalty.

An eye for an eye just leaves the whole world blind.

F LoBuono

Today's MOZEN: Groundhog Day

 

Like some perverse version of Bill Murray's cult classic, Groundhog Day, the Trump election fiasco goes on and on spewing endless rounds of lies, misconceptions, and outright bullshit. With its cast of clowns like Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, Sebastian Gorka, Michelle Bachmann, and a host of others, this reality show might be funny if it wasn't so fucking tragic.

The reason it's not funny is the fact that tens of millions of people are actually buying this shit show!

Groundhog Day was fiction. This is a sad reality. And, that reality is this entitled man who we elected king* can say virtually ANYTHING, even the most bizarre, nonsensical shit, and his minions would eat that shit with a silver spoon. Furthermore, like petulant children, they become violent when he/they don't get their way, even when his claims have been PROVEN to be false.

Like a spoiled, entitled child Mr. Trump screams, cries, pleads, implores, lies, steals, cheats, stamps his feet, and shakes his fists until he gets what he want. And, like poor parents whose indulgence not only enables but encourages this poor behavior, the Republican Party has showed itself to be no friend of the American People. In fact, their total capitulation to this arrogant sham of a leader, will forever doom them to a legacy of cowardice and shame.

Illustration by Kaya Mar

In the film, Bill Murray's character eventually wakes up a new man in a new day. The lesson was learned and he was better off for his experience. We can only hope that on 1/20/2021 my fellow Americans will also wake, acknowledge the error of their ways and dedicate themselves to ridding ourselves of a legacy that nearly destroyed our democracy.

Well, I can hope anyway. It may be all that we have left . . . 

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYCTlqK9m78

Today's MOZEN: Finding The Path

No one ever said that the Road to Enlightenment would be easy. In fact, according to the prophets, it can be so difficult that it can take many cycles of death and rebirth (i.e. reincarnation) to finally reach that destination. I know that my own path has been paved with the stones of limited, joyful success and a lot of those that bear the weight of failure. My ego gets in the way. My pride gets in the way. My arrogance gets in the way. And, so does my anger. The path of that which makes us simply human and that which makes us divine is on a slippery slope. It's all so frustrating!

Still, I remain resolute in my pursuit of Spiritual Consciousness.

However, lately, that goal seems further away than ever!

The fact that over 74 million of my fellow Americans voted for a man whom I contend embodies the worst of human vices, i.e. greed, arrogance, sloth, avarice, mendacity, and a host of other negative traits simply makes the already difficult goal of achieving that enlightenment seemingly impossible.

In response, I must take comfort in two major counter points:

1. The knowledge that over 81 million OTHER Americans stood up to a bully and empathically said, "NO THANKS".

2.  So-called Idiocracy in America has ALWAYS been there and probably always will be. Ignorance, racism, bigotry, greed, and hate have been with us since the inception of this Nation. In fact, some would say that it is so much a part of our ethos that it has become part of our DNA. The KKK has never died (and, never will). McCarthyism has never died (and, never will). And, now, we have Trumpism, a new blight on our National Character that I fear will also never die. And, yet, we as a Nation survive.

This, I suppose, is the way of the world, the Yin and Yang of the human experience. They are two sides of the same coin. On one side, where we often find not only many others but, sometimes, our selves, lies the baser angels of our nature, i.e. the place where fear and ignorance lie. On the other, is the more sublime, i.e. where the better angels, those of tolerance and compassion, reside.

I see my job as to acknowledge the existence of the former while working to live within the latter. This is NO easy task, especially when I would love to simply grab some of these people and smack some sense into them.

So, when I see others on Social Media denying facts like Mr. Trump LOST the race for the Presidency or that Covid 19 is a killer, I have to remind myself not to fall victim to the same level of idiocy of the person who posted in the first place.

And, there within lies the challenge.

So, what I try to do is stick to the facts as we know them and avoid the pejoratives and ad hominem attacks that often follow strong disagreements, especially those that occur under the protection of the relative anonymity that is Social Media.

It's not easy.

That's why the road is long and hard. It can be much more satisfying to lash out and fall victim to our baser emotions. Those are the ones that seem to come to us first - anger and then retribution. I'll admit that I often want to pummel those folks. But, those emotions, although human, are contrary to the path that we call Enlightenment.

And, that's why it is so difficult to get there.

Now, that doesn't mean that I'm just gonna' sit back and allow someone to spew the hate and vitriol that seems to be the staple of so many Trump supporters. I feel it is not only my duty, but EVERYONE'S, to deny fear and loathing whenever and wherever we encounter it. We just need to avoid being a prick when we do. . . 

Today's MOZEN: When Will It End

Illustration by Kaya Mar

 After so many months of dealing with the chaos created by the Covid-19 virus, virtually all of us are suffering from some version of so-called Pandemic Fatigue. It has been so taxing in one form or another to everyone that we just want it to be over.

However, we cannot simply close our eyes, think hard and true, and make this horrible malady go away. We may be tired, but the virus is NOT. It is relentless in its attacks. Therefore, we must remain vigilant. However, if we do remain so and practice what science tells us we must do to survive, we will get our lives back.

The same can be said for lame duck President Donald J. Trump and his entire corrupt administration.

I am so fucking sick and tired of his relentless bullshit that I'm finding it difficult to wait and see him booted out of the White House, kicking and screaming if necessary, on 1/20/2021.

I want him/them gone NOW.

Mr. Trump's mendacity knows no bounds. And, I use the word mendacity because it means more than simply lying - calling it just lying would be like saying the Titanic was merely a cruise ship. We all tell small white lies. It makes us human. But, mendacity is willful lying to the point where it becomes a way of life, a means to an end, any end, just as long as it benefits only you.

And, his constant fabrication of election law misdeeds with NO supporting facts is ripped right from the pages of the Joseph Goebbels' handbook:

 “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”*

I have resisted from the beginning of this corrupt administration's origins to compare them to the Nazis. Although there was sufficient evidence to at least suggest a connection I felt it, perhaps, too great a leap. Well, not any more!!

If the god damned shoe fits, they must wear it.

This abhorrent man, nothing more that a Reality TV Show Host, is mustering every falsehood, every exaggeration, every flat out fabrication in a desperate effort to hold on to power - a power that was NEVER his to begin with. THAT power belongs to the people and it's time to GIVE IT BACK.

Trump supporters, if you have ANY decency left, you will demand that this sham of a leader cease his indiscriminate assault on OUR DEMOCRACY. It's simply a disgrace from a man history will label as such.

*https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/joseph-goebbels-on-the-quot-big-lie-quot

Today's MOZEN: GET THE FUCK OUT!

 

Illustration by Kaya Mar

Have you ever been in a relationship that became so toxic the only words left to say were; get the fuck out - just get the fuck out!? Perhaps, the vitriol was accompanied by a gentle shove towards the closest door. I know that I have been - more than once.

Now, I don't see myself as a cruel person and I think that most folks who know me would tend to agree. However, there comes a point where, unfortunately, every reasonable attempt at reconciliation has failed and you're left with an emptiness that is often replaced by anger. The only recourse left is separation - by any non-violent means necessary.

Well, that can be easily used as a metaphor for what is happening with lame duck President Donald J. Trump and his attempts at hanging on to what he now longer has. All of his crying, whining, tweeting, and frivolous lawsuits can no longer save him. Despite his cadre of duped minions, his relationship with over 77 million of his fellow Americans is permanently fractured. And, it can never be repaired.

So, Mr. FORMER President, I will say to you and your entire entourage of toxic flunkies and phonies:

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT!

That is all . . . 

Today's MOZEN: The Clown Show

 

Photograph: Drew Angerer/Getty Images

During a press conference the other day, soon to be ex-President Donald Trump's lead attorney for post election affairs, Rudy Giuliani's hair was actually bleeding. Two black lines were running down from the hair around each of his temples to below his chin. REALLY!!

It was SO embarrassing that it was actually painful to watch. It was so pathetic that I really felt kind of sorry for him (well, sort of, anyway). It was obvious that he was sweating profusely, diluting the dark colored dye he must use in his hair, causing it to run down his face.

Just how far can the mighty fall?

Well, obviously pretty friggin' far!

Rudolph Giuliani, former Federal Prosecutor, was also once so lauded as he led a devastated New York City through the dark days after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center that he became known as not just the Mayor of New York City but as AMERICA'S MAYOR.

Then he joined the Clown Show that is also known as the Trump Administration. In addition to the latest embarrassing incident, Mr. Giuliani was also recently punked by the slap-stick comedian, Sacha Baron Cohen, a.k.a. Borat , in Mr. Cohen's latest madcap film. How he could so easily fall prey to a comic who makes a living by exposing charlatans speaks to the fool that Giuliani has become. And, this doesn't even take into account the ridiculous press conference he held at The Four Seasons - no, not the glamorous hotel but the landscaping company between the adult book store and the crematorium.

Now, take it one step further -

Mr. Giuliani is the LEAD attorney for the President, as Mr. Trump makes a desperate attempt to hold off the inevitable, i.e. that he LOST the election. Think about that. The President is so delusional that the man most responsible for these efforts has hair dye leaking down his face as he addresses the world.

Come on, Trumpsters - just how bad does it have to get to realize that you not only backed the wrong horse - it ain't even a horse - it's a JACKASS.

That is all . . .

Today's MOZEN: What Do YOU See?

F LoBuono

Perhaps, if by some bizarre chance, an actual Trump supporter is reading this, may I ask a few questions:

What is it that you actually see in Donald Trump so that you would CONTINUE to support him?

Is it his appearance?

I see an obese figure, with a bouffant hairdo that looks like a dead animal sitting on his head, fake teeth, and a spray-on tan that gives him an unearthly orange glow.

Is it his personality?

I see an egomaniac who identifies with bullying, bluster, belligerence, mendacity, and bullshit as leadership skills.

Is it his communication?

I see a bumbling fool who can't spell, doesn't write well, and doesn't speak with any level of intelligence.

Is it his policy?

I see no Health Care plan, no great Border Wall, no environmental protections, a raging, unchecked Covid pandemic, and no tax break for the Middle Class.

Is it his plan for the future?

I see a man without any coherent plan to lead us forward. In fact, despite the fact that he lost the election convincingly, he is keeping the ENTIRE Country from moving forward with a NEW President for his own selfish means.

So, someone, please refute my assessment of this horrible man. I'm willing to listen to any reasonable, fact-based retort. After all, over 70 million of you STILL voted for him. There must be one who can adequately explain WHY.

Thank you. 

Today's MOZEN: Taking It To The Streets

 

F LoBuono

Because of my position with a major news outlet, I have had the great privilege to witness some of the most important political events in our Country's history. To name just 2, I was front row-center to experience the joy when Barack Obama accepted the Democratic nomination for President in 2008. I was also at the Javits Center in New York when Hillary Clinton got the heartbreaking news that she had lost the 2016 Presidential election to Donald Trump.

However, I must admit that I've never seen the unadulterated joy of millions of people, not only in this Country but from around the world, at the defeat of our current (but, not for much longer) President, Donald J. Trump. Bells were ringing, horns were blaring, and people were dancing in the streets. It was as if a huge, debilitating weight had been lifted off the collective shoulders of so many Americans. After 4 years of a President and Administration that I'm confident history will declare as the worst since the inception of America, The People could once again breath the clean, fresh air of a new birth of freedom!

I was in the lounge, taking a lunch break from working in our the newsroom on W57th St. in Manhattan when I heard a mighty commotion. It surprised me because it was SO loud. Cars were beeping their horns, people were flooding the streets, cheering and banging on pots and pans. I couldn't imagine what it might me. That was until my phone started ringing to alert me to return to the newsroom ASAP: Joe Biden had broken through to become the President-elect. As you can imagine, the newsroom exploded with activity!

Of course, the newsroom chaos lasted well into the night. However, so did the street celebrations. In my little village of Nyack, NY, Main Street had to be literally shut down to accommodate all of the revelers!

Now, I know that 70 million people actually voted for Mr. Trump. That's a number simply too large to ignore. I may NEVER fully understand exactly WHY they did so, but that's irrelevant for this post. Over 74 million Americans DID vote for Joe Biden and their joy was made most apparent in the most celebratory of ways - the American way - taking it to the streets - with NO hint of violence. Perhaps, NOW we can truly Make America Great Again.

Because the Country has been so wounded by Mr. Trump, Mr. Biden's road will not be an easy one. We are still seriously fractured and Republican opposition, led by the likes of Mitch McConnel, is bound to be fierce. But, if the conciliatory tone taken by President-elect Biden in his speech made immediately after he was officially declared the winner is any indication of what we can expect over the next 4 years, we are most certainly in good hands. And, as he said in that speech:

If Americans come together, there is nothing we cannot do.

Order will be restored.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

Today's MOZEN: 1/20/2021

Illustration by Kaya Mar

OH MY FRIGGIN' GOD!!! WHEN WILL IT EVER END????

 - the lying, the cheating, the willful ignorance . . . 

Perhaps, one day, after years of study by social scientists, someone will be able to adequately explain how 60 MILLION PEOPLE voted for a man with the character of a snake oil salesman. That is the approximate amount of Americans who continue to support soon-to-be EX-President Donald J. Trump. What bewilders me is that after 4 failed, miserable years where Mr. Trump talked and talked so much and yet accomplished so little, so many still buy his line of shit.

If that isn't enough, he is contesting the election by making outrageous, baseless claims of fraud and deliberate malfeasance on the part of those who had the audacity to exercise their rights as Americans, i.e. VOTE for the candidate of THEIR choice!!! And, in doing so he is, once again, fragmenting our society and incited his most fanatic minions to violence.

It boggles my mind that so many people, yes, many of them presumably good people, actually drank Trump's Kool-Aid. That is until you realize where the term comes from. It refers to the Jonestown Massacre* when cult leader Jim Jones convinced 919 of his most fanatical followers to kill themselves by drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide. And, even more astounding and tragic is the fact that one third of the victims were children, given the elixir by their own parents.

That was 42 years ago.

Today, we have a new Cult of Personality led by Donald J. Trump whose minions appear ready to drink whatever libation he should choose to serve them. Whatever he tells them, no matter how outlandish or outrageous, they will believe simply because they want to. Facts play no role in the process. They have an endless supply of excuses to justify his mendacity. As a comedian friend of mine put it:

Trump could walk into their homes, shoot their dog, and they would STILL BLAME THE DOG!

Donald Trump is going to lose this election. And, despite his whining, crying, and bloviating, he will be going, by force if necessary. He can file all the lawsuits his tiny, little heart desires. The Constitution, you know that little article that he and his followers supposedly worship, is very clear in the procedure. It's called the 20th Amendment**.

Well, I guess I answered my own question. Yes, it WILL end:

and, Noon, 1/20/2021 can't come fast enough.

*https://time.com/longform/jonestown-aftermath/

** Section 1. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3rd day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin.