Social Commentary: On Image

Photo: F LoBuono

If women in general, and adolescent girls in particular, are being inundated by a barrage of images of super smart, super sexy, super strong, feminine role models, creating unrealistic and downright harmful expectations in them, than what of the images we portray to young men?

We know that we live in a society that worships beauty, youth, celebrity, and wealth. To capitalize on this, and, at the same time, perpetuate it, marketers and advertising agencies present images that come to define what is "cool" and what is not, who is "worthy" and who is not, etc. Women are constantly being assaulted by adds that present images of female characters that are all things to all people. Of course, such high standards can never be reached in "the real world". They only exist in the minds of the people who create the image. And they have a harmful effect, too, creating social/psychological disorders like anorexia and depression.

But, in a sense, at least the expectation is for a certain level of achievement for women. What is it for men in general, young men in particular? From what I've seen on TV and the Internet, young men are expected to be nothing more than lazy, beer drinking, womanizing imbeciles! Virtually any beer commercial features a group of young men gathered together over some sporting event. Invariably someone in the crowd will issue some type of moronic statement, at which time the others will grunt (or howl) in agreement. Or, someone will be accused of feminine traits, a definite no-no in the macho world of 20 something beer drinkers. Or, if it's a couple, the man must defer to a much smarter, much tougher woman. (My wife, and many women, would have no issue with this!). Even when the commercials try to be clever, they're not. One of the lite beer commercials comes to mind: it's the one where a group of beer drinking buddies are spliced into an actual NFL press conference. It's clever enough until they start asking the coach idiotic questions!

I like beer. I drink beer. I have for a long time. I like to watch sports, drink beer, and hang with my buddies. But watching others drink beer, watch sports, and act like jackasses does not make me want to drink more beer, watch more sports, or hang out more with my buddies!

Seriously, I've seen what damage this type of imagery can cause in young men. I've seen it in one of my stepsons. He is such a sharp guy, always was. But when he was younger, (IMHO) he deliberately suppressed that side of him because it was easier to fit in if he was just some dumb slob like the rest of them. Despite an extremely high IQ, he struggle in school. It was cooler (and easier) not to stick out, not be an egghead. He was just too cool for school. It took him years to realize that smart is way cooler than dumb.

And I know exactly what it means to be rebellious - the ultimate goal of all teenagers, ESPECIALLY boys. I always saw myself at least partially rebellious and often resisted formal education. But I always saw the difference between rebellion and idiocy. However, I was also raised at a time when there wasn't a constant stream of negative imagery flowing in my life - as it is for kids today.

Today's parents of teenagers certainly have their work cut out for them. It was NEVER an easy job. However, now parents have to deal with the image crisis in both their girl AND boy children. They have to let girls know that they don't have to be rich, powerful, beautiful, sexy, a mother AND a CEO of major company, all at the same time, to be happy. And they have to let their boys know that being a boy doesn't have to mean they'll grow up to be beer drinking morons.