I feel that relationships must be like competitive skiing. Now, I must qualify: I have never been a competitive skier. In fact, I don't ski at all! However, I have seen enough of it to get a feel for what it must take to not only compete, but to win. And that is, if you hold anything back for fear of crashing (and those crashes can be devastating), you are skiing not to lose rather than skiing to win. And you never will win. I'm sure that this is true not only for skiing but for most other competitive endeavors as well. It is certainly true for life in general and relationships in particular. If you are in a relationship that you want to be rewarding over the course of a lifetime, it is important not to hold anything back for fear of crashing. Crashes are inevitable. They come with the territory. But if you love not to lose rather than to win . . . Well, you know that you may not crash and burn but you will never achieve the satisfaction and peace of knowing that you played to win and you gave everything to it. There IS great comfort in knowing that. And who knows - you may even achieve that elusive state of bliss knowing that your partner feels the same way. I do know that, at least for me, there can be no other way.
Always play life to win, rather than not to lose.
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