When You Think About It: Teach ALL of Your Children

F LoBuono

A movement has begun on Social Media.

In reaction to the accusations against movie mogul Harvey Weinstein of sexual predation that he allegedly perpetrated against numerous individuals, women have responded by the millions with the simple phrase "Me, too". The meaning is obvious; they have all been sexually assaulted or abused at one time or another in their lives. The number of women responding in the affirmative has been staggering.

It has led me the ask, why is this happening? How is this happening?

The answer is complex and involves biology, chemistry, endocrinology, psychology, physiology, evolution, and a host of other factors that make us human. And, we have largely accepted/believed that "nature's way" was to have the male dominate the female, particularly sexually. How many of us remember that old cartoon of the caveman, club over his shoulder, dragging a woman by the hair to his lair where he will have his way with her? This is the image that many of us have grown up to laugh out but, at the same time, sadly accept as basically truthful.

Well, as we continue to evolve as a species, we are changing physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Over the course of millennia, women have struggle to prove their worth in society as more than receptacles for our seed and the objects of our wanton desire. They are our equals in EVERY way! And, they continue that struggle.

So, why, then, does the abuse keep happening?

Certainly, the male has to deal with impulse and nuance when dealing on a sexual level with women. And, in our society (as it is in most of the world), the male is considered the aggressor. So, if he has been conditioned to treat women as an object of sexual desire, that's exactly how he will deal with her. 

And, I must say that often women themselves contribute to their own dilemma.

Allow me to clarify.

Working in the news business has left me with a bizarre schedule. I work evenings and nights most of the time, often coming home after midnight. When I get to my apartment, I usually don't go right to sleep. I usually have a little something to eat, a cocktail or beer, and then turn on the TV to watch for an hour or so.  I'm a pretty selective TV viewer, so I won't watch just anything. In fact, about the only thing that I make an effort to watch is the best satire on television - South Park. The show is certainly geared to young men in the 25 and older crowd. And, the commercial ads reflect that demographic. There is a regular dose of advertisements that feature sexy, scantily clad, young girls, enticing men of ALL ages, to give them a call ASAP so that "we can party while my parents are away"!

Seriously.

There are dozens of shots of firm, little buttocks with just a thin layer of cloth covering the flesh beneath. There is a bevy of young women, staring into the cameras, lips pursed, begging us to call and "play" with them. I could name the sites but I won't bother. I have no desire to give them any free advertising. But, believe me, they are there by the dozen - all beseeching men to call and "pay" them some attention.

Now, I'm sure that these young women were well paid for "acting" in these commercials (or, perhaps, they were not!). But, make no mistake about what they were selling - S.E.X. with men of any age, ethnicity, social standing, etc. The only qualification the men were to have was to be of some means, i.e. M.O.N.E.Y. I understand that selling sex is now a "respected" business that we actually call the Sex Industry. So be it. I'm not judging here. But, in reality, how can we expect young men to strike a balance and respect women, avoid abusing them, and, at the same time, see dozens of women who not only say they want you to objectify them - they LOVE it. Don't you think this sends a very confusing mixed message to our young men? And, remember, without the proper guidance, these young men might eventually develop in to the Harvey Weinsteins of the world!

This is different than a woman who might dress a bit provocatively (whatever that ultimately means) and is demeaned for doing so. A woman has a RIGHT to dress as she chooses without the fear of being judged or even assaulted. However, in the circumstance that I'm talking about, young women are actively soliciting sex from young men. It's simply the wrong message at the wrong time!

Now, you may say that it's a man's responsibility to distinguish between the two, but that is much easier said then done. We are talking about impressionable young men who are at an age when their hormones are raging and they are in the process of taking relationships (and, sex) seriously. Do we not want to send the right message to them? And, what responsibility do these young women bear?

So, when you think about it, it's NOT A ONE WAY STREET.

Parents, teach your children well - boys AND girls!