Today's MOZEN: The Joke Was on Me

F LoBuono

In light of the recent spate of anti-Semitic attacks in and around the NY Metropolitan area, I thought of relating a story from my youth on how I was taught to respect EVERYONE.

I must have been about 11 or 12 years-old. My mother and our next door neighbor were in the kitchen of our home making small talk. I listened patiently to their banter and, at one point, I thought that I would contribute to the conversation by telling them a joke I had heard at school that day. I broke in during a lull and said, "would you like to hear a funny joke I learned today?" My mom replied, "sure Frankie, we love jokes". The joke itself was in 2 parts - first, a question - then, the answer - just 2, simple sentences. So, I asked the question and waited patiently for the answer. When my mother and friend could not fathom the answer, they asked, "OK, we don't know. Why don't you tell us?" So, I did.

Now, even after all these years, AND, despite the fact that I was only a child, I'm proud to say that I'm STILL too embarrassed to even repeat the actual joke. Let me just say that it was anti-Semitic at its very core. But, of course, at that age, I didn't even know what that meant.

Well, my mother and her friend's response educated me -IMMEDIATELY.

Instead of the belly laughs I was expecting, my joke was met instantly with stone-cold silence. Then, my mother said sternly, "Frankie, that's not funny AT ALL. In fact, it's offensive." When I looked to my mother's friend for a possible reprieve, she was also shaking her head in a negative fashion. My mother continued, "making fun of ANY ethnic group is NEVER acceptable in this house, Frankie, and NEVER will be. Do you UNDERSTAND?"

I hung my head in shame while nodding in acceptance at the same time. And, now, even 50 years later, I can vividly remember the embarrassment I experienced at that moment. Stella's message had its desired effect. It was one also shared by my father. From that day forward I have always done my best to eschew jokes and slogans that are not only offensive by their nature, but harbor hidden prejudices and stereotypes.

It was a message well learned and one that not only ALL parents, but ALL adults, should teach their children. The world would be a better place if they did . . .