Today's MOZEN: A Meditation on Life and Death

Words and photo by F LoBuono

It's the subject no one wants to talk about. In fact, the very thought of it freaks most people out. But, death is with us every day and in every way. It is the great equalizer and the one thing that we truly have in common. Indeed, EVERYONE and EVERY THING dies. So, why is it so difficult for us to come to terms with, much less discuss it?

It's amazing how much death is around us we and hardly even take notice. In the warmer months, how many dead animal carcasses do we observe lying by the side of almost any road? If the windows are open we may notice the stench of death and curl up our noses, but do we really connect with the fact that pile of decaying flesh was once a living creature? I would venture to think not. Every time we sit to have a meal, something has died to provide us nourishment. Do we ever take a moment to think about the life of the animal that was sacrificed so that we may live? Hardly. Everyone we know, everyone we meet, every animal or thing we encounter will pass away. No one gets out of here alive. All of us are dying a little bit every day that we live! But, most of us are in denial.

If death is every bit as much a part of our lives as, well, living, why are we so afraid of it? Certainly, life is precious or most of us would not cling to it so fiercely. When confronted by death, ALL creatures will fight in some way to preserve their own lives. Even a fish will flop about a boat's deck in an effort to regain the water and life. One of the basic principals of most, if not all, the world's great religions is that the reward for a life well lived is the chance for another, more perfect one. But, even with the promise that the end of life is not a total ending, most of us still fear our own deaths. We simply do not KNOW what happens. Even people whose faith teaches them to believe in a so-called "afterlife" may still dread the thought of their own demise. I believe that the our fear may lie with the very idea of non-existence. To "not be" is terrifying for most people. We have such a strong sense of ourselves that even the thought of nothingness is enough to send chills up our spine. Even the promise of an afterlife is not enough to release most of us from the terror of not knowing what REALLY happens at the time of our passing.

So, what do we do about this death? Most of us tend to ignore it until it is thrust upon us when we are finally confronted with our own, or a loved one's mortality. It's only then that we get serious about it. However, by that time it's usually too late, we are now in panic mode. We really need to deal with death in some way every day. We need to make it a part of our lives - because it already is.  In this way, it becomes our companion and we can gradually lose our fear of it.

Many cultures and religions do this in many different ways - some are better at it than others. For example, Mexican culture features a mix of Christian doctrine and pagan ritual in The Day of The Dead. Mexican's make up their faces to resemble skulls, not to frighten but to connect with their dead ancestors. Whole families spend time picnicking in graveyards near the headstones of relatives to continue to share in death what they once did together in life. In this way, they remove the "stigma" of death and make it "accessible", if you will, to all. Buddhists believe (and rightly so) that life and death are two sides of the same coin - one cannot exist without the other. Therefore, if we are not afraid of life, we should not be afraid of death.

We must find a way to strike a balance between life and death. Perhaps, William Butler Yates grasped and expressed this concept most brilliantly in his poem An Irish Airman foresees his Death:

I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed a waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

I believe by this he meant to remind us to live completely in the moment. In doing so we live more fully without the specter of death hanging over our heads. For as we live, we die. They are really one and the same. So, it makes no sense to cling to one and fear the other. LIVE!