Today's MOZEN: A Self-Portrait of the Artist 7/13/2015

Words and photo by f LoBuono

Why?

I've been asking myself that question an awful lot lately. Why do I do this when it seems to make so little difference? I've written thousands of words - probably tens of thousands, in fact. I've even been fairly widely published. Yet, in all the hundreds of articles, commentaries, poetry, stories, and non-fiction that I have composed, I've not sold a single word. Not one. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Sure, I get some people to read my stuff but, in the final analysis, it ain't many!!

In the last twenty five years or so, I've must have made tens of thousands of photographs - from many locations around the world. With all due modesty, some of them may even be quite good. I have also mounted a number of gallery shows to feature my work. Still, I have never sold a single photograph. Not one. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

So, why bother? Really. It takes time and effort. It can take a lot of time and enormous effort. Since it is not my livelihood, (i.e. I have a REAL job that makes the money I need to do trivial things like eat), I have to MAKE time to do these things. I don't just sit at my computer and regurgitate a story. I don't just whip out my camera and make a photograph - I CRAFT these things. Articles have to be conceived, written, and then edited, edited ,edited. It can take hours, if not days. Photos have to be made then transferred from camera to computer, color corrected, and organized/edited. This can also take hours, if not days.

Again, WHY do it then?

The most common response to that questions is; because you are compelled to. I suppose that this is the simplest, most direct, and, probably, most accurate answer. There seems to be something within my DNA that makes me go against my better judgement and continue to do things that take time and apparently return little. But, I just can't quit. I've wanted to - so many times, but as the Sinatra song says, my heart just won't buy it. And, so, I continue. I don't think that I even know HOW to quit. Still, a little recognition for all the effort might go a long way. EVERY writer or photograph wants recognition. If they say otherwise, I believe that they are lying. Recognition is not the SOLE motivator, but it is ONE. If we did not feel our work worthy of presentation we would not make it available. Even the great Michelangelo carved his name into the sash of his masterpiece, La Pieta, because he heard that another artist would attempt to take credit for its creation! Yes, we would like to recognized and, when possible, paid for it, too.

Still, I continue.

But, there are other factors besides mere compulsion (or recognition). At least there is for me. It's about doing the right thing - always. I suppose that the title of a song by the Irish musician, Paul Brady, probably sums it up best: "The World is What You Make It". And, I believe that whole heartily. We can let the circumstances of life overwhelm us or, we can use whatever talent we have to make it a better place. When I see or hear of injustice, I cannot simply look away. I will not hide my head in the sand. In fact, it usually has quite the opposite effect. It makes me passionate. It is a call to action that I will heed as quickly as possible. I will not leave for someone else something that I know I should be doing myself. Whether it is with the written word or the frozen moment of a photograph, I will use whatever modest skills that I have to drive the conversation forward.

Martin Luther King said, our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.  Well, MLK has nothing to worry about me.