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| Words and photo by F LoBuono |
Perhaps, there are just too many of us inhabiting this planet to really get along. Although social animals, humans also need space to thrive. Studies show that when a stranger stands too close to us our bodies react negatively. Our respiration and heart rates increase. We are uncomfortable. And, if you live or work in a major metropolitan area like I do, it is extremely difficult to avoid strangers - lots of them. So, the shear volume of humans makes for an extremely competitive environment. And, competition means stress. We compete for everything - spots in line, reservations, jobs, apartments, schools, and even parking spaces. Just attempting an alternate traffic merge can be a lesson in patience and altruism. The stress to drive home at rush hour is usually enough to turn me into a quivering mass of jelly. It's hurry here, rush there. There are days when we don't seem to have enough time to catch our breath. This hustle and bustle leaves us little time for reflection and relaxation. This lack of introspection and renewal makes people mean spirited. If we don't have time to be good to ourselves, how, then, are we to be generous of spirit to others?
This intense competition has also changed our value system. Traits like honesty, integrity, loyalty, modesty, intelligence, and compassion have been replaced with less desirable ones like greed, avarice, conceit, and gluttony. It's easier to be hard. Altruism, in the face of these trying times, is difficult to practice. When we are struggling to survive, it is much harder to think about giving to others. This is not unreasonable. However, as a society we suffer when we act in this way. We lose our collective will to affect positive change. This creates the so-called Law of the Jungle mentality - survival of the fittest. But, the strength of any society lies with the ability of the strong to care for the weak. However, we are not doing that. We seem to worship the strong and despise the weak. Our fascination with celebrities, regardless of their real talent,or intentions, is more evidence of this thinking. MANY more people are familiar with Kim Kardashian than they are with Mother Theresa! Donald Trump, an unabashed, over aggressive, narcissist, who frequently distorts his own credentials is actually leading the other GOP Presidential candidates by a significant margin. Why? Is he about compassion and fairness leading to a great society? Hell, no! He's all about the traits we used to disparage - greed, dishonesty, racism, and sexism. Yet, he leads in the polls. Why? Because in today's hard world it's easier to condemn than it is to build. And, he's damned good at condemnation.
We also worship guns without real thought as to what they REALLY represent. Guns are weapons. Their purpose and point, whether in aggression or in defense, is to kill. Yet, there are many who believe that gun ownership is a god-given right and anyone who would suggest their removal must be dealt with quickly and severely. But, why? Why are we so afraid that guns have become part of the American DNA? Thousands are killed in gun violence every year. Still we lack the will to stop it.
We've lost confidence in our police. Despite the fact that most members of law enforcement do an excellent job, too many have inflicted serious damage on our communities, particularly those of color. It seems that as our society has become more violent, so have the police. It makes me wonder which one is in response to the other. Did the police become more violent and reactive in response to the behavior of the people? Or, is the opposite true? One way or the other, our relationship with the police has changed. Where we once knew the neighborhood policemen by his name, we now have to deal with nameless, faceless, drones in combat gear.
Bad news seems to be everywhere. We are barraged by it. It's gore galore! Our TVs, radios, newspapers, and the Internet are absolutely filled with horrific stories of violence and abuse. The old TV adage of if it bleeds, it leads is still very much in vogue. ISIS alone is the stuff of nightmares. The images of their barbaric acts further confirm that world has become an even harder place. School shootings, movie theater massacres, church murders, arson, and rape dominate the headlines - ALL OF THE TIME. The twenty-four hour news cycle has insured us that we will see every bit of bad news any time we so choose to look.
It's enough to make a grown man cry - and, I often do. It's can be downright depressing. Some days, when I think of all the ills in the world, I get so down I feel like I'm lower than whale shit. There just seems to be no way to stem the tide. Often, the world doesn't need gravity - because it just sucks so much. It can all be so overwhelming.
So, what are we to do? Do we hide our heads in the sand and pray that things will get better? Do we sleep for a few years and hope that when we get up, the world will be OK? As individuals we are far too small to hope to change the whole world. But, we don't have to change the WHOLE world. We just have to change OUR own, little world. When I'm feeling overwhelmed I often do what most of us do - retreat. I sleep more. I hide more. This can be effective, but only in the short term. We can't sleep forever. We can't hide forever. At some point, we need to get back in the world. When I do return, I find that the more I get involved with getting back to the business of helping others, the better I feel. And, again, it doesn't have to be a big or great thing. The little things can make all of the difference. Extend yourself to say "hello" even if you don't feel like it or it's a person you don't particularly care for. Make someone smile by giving them a small gift, especially when they don't expect it. Visit a sick friend. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Tell someone that you love them. So much good is removed from the world by all the negativity we put into in. We can stop and even reverse that trend but putting a little good back into it, one small step at a time. We don't have to run. Small steps will get us there just the same.
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