Today's MOZEN: From Stella

Words by F LoBuono

In my never ending pursuit of becoming a better human being, my struggle with my perceived arrogance may be my most challenging. I know that I can be seen as being such - too many people have accused me of it to simply ignore their voices. Now, THAT would be arrogant (pun intended!).So, I hear them and respect their opinions. I want to know what that means in the bigger picture of my life and place in the world.

Sometimes, confidence can be mistaken as arrogance. I would like to believe that this is often the case of how some perceive me. I know what am good at. I suppose that I also probably tell people about exactly what that is a bit too much! This is the arrogant part. At least I am aware of it.

However, I also know what I'm NOT good at and readily acknowledge that. I have often taken credit for being a very flawed human being. Funny, but, f you read into the structure of that sentence there are still those who would see even that admission as arrogant, i.e. take credit for being flawed.

It's all in finding balance. It's what I work most hard at to achieve.

While having lunch with Stella the other day, we got into one of our deep, philosophical discussions. They range widely and cover many topics. They are always enriching and rewarding. Somehow, our discussion came to "criticizing" someone's behavior or appearance. I mentioned an incident of boorishness that I had witnessed during a recent stay in an airport lounge. Stella went on to say that it happens just way too often. She worried aloud that this decay in the social order of things may actually lead to the end of civilization as we now know it (We're both a bit "dramatic"). She has always lived by a sort of code with its own strong sense of what is right and what is wrong. If that code is violated, she can be critical - VERY critical (I can be the same. I am my mother's son). Yet, at the same time, she is also a BIG supporter of to each, their own. And, she lives that. She has taught me these things. I continued by mentioning that, perhaps, we can be just a little too critical when it comes to others being "different" i.e. beyond our so-called "standards". I went on to say that I often struggle with striking that balance. This is what she replied:

Frankie, I AM arrogant. I live a certain way- a way I see as right. I have values. I expect the same from others. But, I am also loving, thoughtful, and giving. THAT'S the better part of me. It's the way that I am. And, I'm OK with that.

She's 92.