Today's MOZEN: The Way of the Peaceful Warrior

Words and photo by F LoBuono

Let me make one thing perfectly clear: despite all the preaching that I do extolling the virtues of non-violence, I do not always practice what I preach. I have a temper, and a fierce one at that. It can get me in trouble and it has - more than once. It is something that I have wrestled with my entire life.

As a kid, I worshipped men of machismo. My father and all of my uncles projected "maleness" in their personae. Testosterone was in the air.  Growing up, my younger brother and I were typical (for that era) rough-neck boys. We loved watching the Saturday morning gladiator movies shown on one of the local TV stations and then mimicking the action. Steve Reeves as Hercules was a BIG role model. We swore that when we grew up, we would work out so that we could look just like him!

We both played violent sports. It was all about being a warrior. I played football and boxed. My brother also played football and wrestled. At one point, I stopped counting how many times I had broken my nose. I got into more fights than I care to remember. I simply would not take any shit from anyone. I really don't think that I won many of those fights, if any at all. It didn't matter. I would defend my honor and use my fists if necessary to do so.

So, what IS the point I wish to make here?

NON-VIOLENCE does not come easily to me. I have to WORK AT IT - every single day! There are times when my temper still gets the best out of me and I simply want to strangle the shit out of someone. This seems particularly acute when I'm behind the wheel of my car: there's the arrogant young woman who just cut me off and still gives ME the finger. Then there's the person going WAY too slow in the left lane forcing everyone else to go around them. There seems to be a never ending supply of assholes just dying to piss us off! If you're like me, you feel the blood rush to your temples and you just want to explode!

And, there are other ways to raise our blood pressure. Facebook can be a prime offender. The relative anonymity it provides to it's users allows them to give voice to their inner fears and desires. Some of those can be downright frightening AND infuriating! The amount of Fear and Loathing can just set me off.

The thing with an explosive temper like mine is that the eruption only provides temporary relief. Sure, for that moment, you feel GOOD. You have vanquished the demon that has caused you such discomfort. You want them to PAY and when they do, you smile - but, only for a moment. If you are at all like me, you feel much WORSE in the long run for having lost your temper. After the initial rush of satisfaction, I can feel awful. Both my head and stomach start to hurt. That's a physical reaction to the adrenaline that my anger has caused to flood into my body. If I allow my self to listen to my body it would be saying: fool, where did that little escapade get you in the end? Generally, that is not a better place and, at times, anger can actually land you in one far worse.

Venting, exploding, and raging may make me feel better in my head but, in my heart, I know that it is wrong, terribly wrong. We simply cannot continue to cater to the darker angels of our nature. We cannot yield to our baser instincts. In doing so, we are chartering a course to our own demise. There must be a better way to become a WARRIOR - A WARRIOR FOR PEACE.

As a young man, I admired the toughest fighters, the fiercest creatures, and roughest competitors. These were the men that relied on their skills as warriors to accomplish their goals. I wanted to be as fearless as they seemed to be. Then, I realized that fearlessness is a relative term. Being fearless does not have to be measured at the tip of a spear or the muzzle of a gun. It is an internal quality that allows us to face even enormous odds when we believe in what we are trying to accomplish. Certainly, the legendary Tank Man, who famously stared down a column of Chinese tanks in Tiananman Square, is every bit as brave , if not more so, than any man behind a machine gun.

We have already been shown the path of NON-VIOLENCE. It is both an ancient and modern one. Jesus showed the way 2,000 years ago. Martin Luther King practiced it successfully in the mid-Twentieth Century, and the Dali Lama lights the way today. However, ironically, we only lack the REAL COURAGE to implement it. We prefer to continue to define bravery by its association with violence when the bravest are really those who choose to deal with problems without it.

I'm not there yet. I still fall prey to old habits. I can flash far too easily to anger. But, at least I am aware of it now and that's half the battle. If I can catch myself WHILE it's happening, perhaps I can at least minimize the effect if not completely eliminate it. There ARE practical ways to deal with one's anger. Freaking out is NOT one of them. Patience and awareness are.

I am committed to trying. Are you?